Oh, we’re going there.
Welcome to where we keep it real and make sure that you are in the know on all things related to health and happiness. Today we’re talking about sex. Have no fear, this isn’t X-rated or anything… it simply exists to demonstrate how regular exercise (especially exercise with a spouse or significant other) can contribute to your overall relationship happiness.
When my husband and I started our fitness journey 5+ years ago, I remember our first day like it was yesterday. We had bought new workout clothes, water bottles, and yoga mats in his and hers colors and were ready to press Play on our first day of P90X. We made it through the warm-up, pumped and ready to begin this journey to healthier selves when Tony Horton introduced the Prison Cell push-up. I turned and looked at Chris, begging him to swap me places (you see, my yoga mat was in front of the TV and his was behind mine). I didn’t want him seeing me struggle. We argued, ended up skipping the move entirely, and as we tell our clients now, we ended up watching the entire workout and not doing another move. We honestly should have plopped onto the couch with a tub of popcorn.
We were frustrated.
Day 2 came, and a similar conversation ensued. This time, I won the battle and he moved his mat in front of mine. We made it through the workout as best we could, cursing under our breath and sharing in the struggle that was so, so real.
Now, 5 years later and with SEVERAL Beachbody fitness programs under our belts, we’re in the best shape of our lives. We don’t care who’s in front and who struggles most… We laugh through tough workouts and sometimes cry together when taking cleanse supplements like Vanilla Fresh. (Ok, that might be an exaggeration). We’ve turned this into something we do together, and I have to say, we’re happier because of it.
I’m always fascinated to learn the small sciences that go unmentioned, like what it is about exercise that can bring two people together. When I look back to 5 years ago when we started P90X, we were in an unusual place. Chris had temporarily left teaching and was working in a corporate financial position, while I was sitting in a cubicle all day long suffering from daily headache. Needless to say, our energy toward each other was lacking. As I compare where we are now to where we were, I’ve uncovered the following information that may just help you to change your relationship for the better. These are my 7 findings related to how exercise (especially exercising together) benefits relationship happiness:
1. Exercise reduces stress.
By knocking out an early morning workout, or by pressing Play immediately when you get home from work, you release the stress that has built up over the day, leaving you more clear-headed and relaxed. This translates to: when your spouse gets home, you don’t bite his/her head off because of your bad day. You instead take it all out on Shaun T.
2. Exercise raises endorphins.
Ahhhh, endorphins. That blissful feeling at the end of a long run or hour-long training sesh where you feel a sort of high from moving your body. Imagine if you exercise with your significant other and you both have that feeling when the workout ends. Need I say more?
3. Exercise leads to self-acceptance and confidence.
If you’re new to exercise, this statement may sound ridiculous right now, but it’s completely true. Exercising leads to a definite boost in confidence for both men and women, and when we feel confident, we become even more attractive. Confidence is sexy, people.
4. Men are visual beings.
As much as you might hate it, put your mat in front of his on occasion. Even if you don’t feel quite so sexy, or if you think you look like a baby giraffe. I doubt he’ll be paying attention. 😉
5. Struggling together means changing together.
The #1 complaint I hear from most women I work with is that, “He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand why I want to lose weight and exercise and do this stuff.” Most likely, that’s not the issue. The issue is that the story you’re telling yourself (that you want to do this for you, for your health and your happiness) is a different story than the story he’s telling himself (that you’re doing this to look hot for someone else, and that you’re choosing to change and leave him behind.) Get on the same page. Tell him why it’s so important to you and encourage him to join you in the journey. If you find yourself at two different levels of fitness, start by simply walking together each day.
6. A group fitness class can be a great date night.
One of my all-time favorite things to do with my husband is attend a hot yoga class. It’s a beautiful endorphin release, a great stretch, and something we can do together. His idea of a great date night might be a jog together. Next time you’re thinking of heading out for some Mexican on date night, consider going sweaty AFTER your workout.
7. Exercising with your significant other is the best form of accountability.
Let’s be honest. There are some days that are easy to skip… rainy days, Saturdays, or vacations out of town being my weakest moments. This is exactly why having a significant other to hold you accountable is so key! You can push each other to get it done, even on your worst days. I once had a client tell me that T25 became a daily date for she and her husband to the point that they would text each other about it all day long to build excitement!
It goes without saying that making the decision to start exercising can be challenging. Trust me, I vividly remember that first day for us. But had I not had him right there beside me (er, behind me), I know without a doubt I never would’ve pressed on. The bottom line is that it’s uncomfortable, and it’s a struggle. But isn’t that what marriage is? Isn’t that what relationships are? By not experiencing the journey together, you’re voluntarily choosing to let the story you’re telling yourself become a fearful reality… and that just ain’t cool.
Relationships aren’t all about sex and physicality. But by acknowledging our body and working toward improving it… by emotionally connecting and laughing together over something like a push-up… we in turn get to treat our our body like the temple it is. And more importantly, treat his/her body the same way.
Couples who sweat together stay together.
Especially when it’s hard.
Especially when it isn’t fun.
So that when it isn’t as hard, and it is fun… they can celebrate.
Embrace the journey, friends. We only live once. Might as well go ALL IN with the one we love.
xoxo,
Jenny