Tuesday is the day I hit up our local Target. Sometimes I need things like groceries, other times I simply need a break from the to-do list to wander my way through aisles of seemingly awesome, unnecessary things. Today I was in and out, purchasing a boatload of almond milk (2 Shakeology addicts in one household = keeping the Almond Breeze stock up). As I was checking out at the register, I found myself behind a woman we all seem to encounter frequently. She was unhappy, irritated with her young daughter, and clearly behind the 8 ball.
“No, honey, you can’t have chocolate,” she said to her 4-year old.
“Put. That. Down,” she said, loud enough for folks several aisles over to turn their heads.
Her forehead was sweaty, and she looked around frantically as if she’d left her other child somewhere in Electronics. I’m pretty sure she was just looking around to make sure she covered all of her needs from the store.
“Will this be on your Target card today, ma’am?” the cashier asked.
“Ugh. I have one of those, but of course I never bring it. Figures.”
Before the cashier could complete the transaction, the woman jumped her, shouting, “Don’t forget my coupon!” which she had laid only seconds before on the moving belt, followed by, “Did I just get double-charged for that?”
‘Wow,’ I thought. ‘This lady’s life is owning her.’
I followed her out into the parking lot after my quick purchase and listened to her bark at her daughter, saying things like, “Turn around!” and “Stop driving me crazy.” Seconds later, as I approached my Jeep, another woman with a same-aged child popped around the corner, and it was obvious the two families knew each other. Like a bolt of lightning, the woman I had been behind for the past 20 minutes turned into an angel from heaven, shouting praises at the other woman’s hairstyle and daughter’s cute outfit.
I laughed out loud, catching both of their attention, and went on with my day.
There are many things we can learn, in a tactical sense, about the organization of this woman’s life, her discontentment being the most obvious, and the fact that she’s obviously too busy, too overwhelmed, and too everything. But what I think we can do in these types of situations is not judge her for her lifestyle, but instead, compare what we see in her to what others may see in our lives.
In April, it seemed like every podcast I listened to and every book I read talked about the importance of waking up early and attacking the day. I had made up my mind that I was going to try it, but as soon as I made the decision, I listened to multiple podcasts (and read multiple articles) that said the opposite… that other people function better as night owls rather than early birds. So rather than change my ways, I accepted them, but continued to investigate how I could improve. As things tend to shine themselves brightly when needed in your life, the one thing that shone true for me was that I should not necessarily wake up earlier than normal, but wake up and set an intention.
I heard a fellow Beachbody Coach say recently, “When I wake up in the morning, I decide what kind of day it’s going to be.”
Since hearing this, I’ve decided to do the same. I’ve decided to set an intention, each and every day, that changes. Some days, it’s acceptance. Acceptance of who I am, what I accomplish in a day’s time, and acceptance of other people and their situations. Other days, it’s gratitude. Being grateful for what I have and who I have. Other days, it’s observation. To observe life from a 10,000 ft. view, and to self-assess. Today when I woke up, I set my intention as “paying forward what I observe,” and then ran into this woman in Target.
This woman, who was seemingly unhappy. Disorganized. In chaos mode. Yet to the people in her world, who knew her in a capacity other than her real self, she was happy as could be, and loving life.
So which person are you? Sure, we all have bad days. I easily could have simply caught this woman in a bad moment, though my hunch is that this was a usual state of mind for her. Do you take a step back and observe? Do you set a daily intention, so that by doing so, you see your life and surroundings in a different way? Most importantly, does your life own you, or do YOU own your life?
I encourage you to wake up tomorrow and for the first time maybe ever, set an intention. Sit up on the edge of your bed, close your eyes, and tell yourself, “Today, I will be _________.” Doing so enables less reaction, and sets a tone for your life. Then, when the bad days come, when you find yourself standing in Target screaming at your daughter for wanting a chocolate bar, you can catch yourself, reset, and start again.