OK, let’s start with an exercise (no pun intended). I want you to give me the whole gamut of your excuses for NOT being where you want to be, in life, in your fitness, in your career, and in your relationships.
Too busy? Too tired? Too unmotivated? Too far behind? Too far gone?
Yeah, we all are at some point.
My mother always says, “The sun does not revolve around you.” I used to hate when she’d say that. It always came up at the most unfortunate times. When I wanted to go to a movie with friends, when I wanted a pair of shoes that were too expensive, and even when I had excuses as to why I couldn’t do what my parents asked me to do.
And the thing is, I’m constantly reminded of this as an adult. As soon as I start to get ho-hum about something going on in my life, or I start to provide an excuse as to why I’m not where I want to be, something in the universe changes. A friend goes through a hard time, or someone loses a loved one, and I’m reminded that my problems are minor. It’s perspective, really.
But none of this comes as news to you. You likely have those moments when you hug the kids a little tighter, buy your spouse that something they’ve been wanting, and when you start to revolve the world around someone or something else so as to simply remind yourself that you are not the sun. And most of the time, it’s temporary. Other times, it seems you never even get to see the sunlight as you’re constantly giving of yourself in order for those you love to have what they want, and to succeed in the things in which they wish to succeed.
So as a personal trainer, and as one who sees this on a daily basis, I have a new theory to throw at you.
Maybe the prioritizing of others, and the sacrifice of sunlight in order to shine light on others, IS selfish. Perhaps either A) you’re hiding from the effort it takes to succeed in the things you wish, or B) you THINK you’re standing on the outskirts of the limelight and really, you’re smack dab in the center, unknowingly demanding others of your energy.
And guess what? It could be negative energy.
I met a woman at the Farmer’s Market who told me she can’t exercise due to her knee. And her back. And, turns out, even her eye. She proceeded to tell me that when she had her children (around 15-20 years ago), she just couldn’t find the time to exercise and eat right, and she has spent her entire life providing for them and making sure they had food on the table and abundant opportunities, letting herself fall by the wayside.
I am not here to doubt her. In fact, I commend her. But what I see is someone who has hidden so far out of the light of her own opportunity that she’s sinking fast. She no longer believes in herself, she’s last on her own priority list, and she feels bad. She most likely feels bad because she eats badly, and doesn’t move daily. But you know who this affects the most? The people for whom she has sacrificed so much. The people she has chosen to give 100% of her attention. They have to sit back and listen to her talk about her aches and pains, and hear lack of self confidence in her daily conversations. They don’t get to have the mother/spouse they deserve.
I have clients on both ends of the spectrum. I have some clients who have 5 children and make it work. They press Play in their basement daily, or come into the gym and sometimes even bring their kids along. They are extremely healthy, in great shape, and commit to taking care of themselves so as to take care of their families. I have others who are there almost as if someone has a gun to their heads. They think that showing up and barely breaking a sweat constitutes enough, and they’re following doctor’s orders to do something about their current state of misery.
But I have this feeling. I have this feeling that most people fall somewhere in between, somewhere near the land of Never Give up in a large plateau called The Land of Inconsistency.
I’ve been there before myself. It’s this horrible place where you feel like for every step forward, you take 3 steps backward. When you do make progress, it’s really just lateral progress. Like that lateral promotion at work where you make the same amount of money but receive a new title. Big freakin’ whoop.
So how do you navigate OUT of this land? How do you start to see improvement and stay committed?
You ready for this answer? No I mean, are you really ready?
You create your own mountains.
You realize that this map you’ve been given is not topographical, but merely a boring map. If you didn’t know better, you’d think the map was created by a child. It just shows Point A and Point B, with no clear lines of how to get from one to the other.
The only way to get from Point A to Point B on your own map of success in the Land of Inconsistency (how’s that for an analogy?), is to create your own topography. Success is optional, but you can’t reach it if you don’t know it.
Is it weight loss? Is it feeling better? Is it creating a positive attitude? If so, what are some things, some mountains, that would challenge you? That would push you out of your comfort zone? That would make you sweat a little, and push the envelope. Create those mountains, sketch them in, and then start climbing.
Ask yourself:
1) What is my ultimate goal? (This is your Mountain Top.)
2) What are the required activities, that most likely push me out of my comfort zone, that HAVE to happen in order for me to reach the top? (These are your Progress Points.)
3) What tools will I need to make it to the top? (These are your Tools.)
4) Who am I going to take with me on this journey (These are your Travelers).
Once you’ve identified the answers to these questions, you grab your Tools and your Travelers and you START. And when you get stuck, or face a setback, you start again. Every time you reach a Progress Point, you smile to yourself but you keep moving, knowing that the ultimate reward is reaching the Mountain Top.
You see, everyone has this map. But most of the time, they want to find an easy way (or the magical way) to find Point B. Or, they simply don’t care about finding it, period. What they don’t realize is that what’s limiting them is their prior unwillingness to not identify the steps needed to get there.
You must sketch your mountains. You must put YOU first sometimes. You must become consistent. You must escape the land of Inconsistency so that you can experience the Peak of Purpose. Yes I just made that up. Someone take the computer away before analogies vomit anymore on this post.
Don’t be the lady at the Farmer’s Market. Don’t hide in your own shadows. Realize your potential. Go for it. And then shout from the top when you get there…
I. AM A FREAKING. SUCCESS STORY.