Mindfulness and Habit Triggers: Interview with Behavioral Health Expert Justin Thomas
Welcome to the SYNC Your Life podcast episode #13! On this podcast, we will be diving into all things women’s hormones to help you learn how to live in alignment with your female physiology. Too many women are living with their check engine lights flashing. You know you feel “off” but no matter what you do, you can’t seem to have the energy, or lose the weight, or feel your best. This podcast exists to shed light on the important topic of healthy hormones and cycle syncing, to help you gain maximum energy in your life.
In today’s episode, I’m interviewing Justin Thomas, Behavioral Health Expert and Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. Justin and I talk about the first steps to creating healthy habits, the power of triggers, spousal support when it comes to your health and fitness, and so much more.
To grab a copy of the book we reference, Atomic Habits by James Clear, click here: https://amzn.to/3GZ2Hu7
You can learn more about Justin and his Matter Ladder Challenge here: https://courses.justinthomascoaching.com/the-matter-ladder-challenge
You can find him on social @JustinThomasCoaching and via his website: https://www.justinthomascoaching.com/.
If you feel like something is “off” with your hormones, check out the FREE hormone imbalance quiz at sync.jennyswisher.com.
To learn more about the SYNC Digital Course, check out jennyswisher.com.
Let’s be friends outside of the podcast! Send me a message or schedule a call so I can get to know you better. You can reach out at https://jennyswisher.com/
Enjoy the show!
Episode Webpage: jennyswisher.com/podcast
0:05
Welcome to the SYNC Your Life Podcast. I’m your host, Jenny Swisher, certified personal trainer, nutritionist hormone health expert and girl mom. I believe all women should be able to understand how our bodies are designed to feel. And I teach you how to sync your lifestyle to your cycle to reach maximum energy. You deserve to feel your best and this podcast is going to teach you how. Let’s dive in!
0:34
This podcast is sponsored by the SYNC Digital Course, to take the free hormone imbalance quiz to see what your symptoms could mean about your health. Visit sync.jennyswisher.com That’s sync s y n c dot Jenny swisher.com.
1:00
All right, well today I’m so excited to bring you guys this episode of the podcast with my new friend Justin Thomas. He is a behavioral health expert for business leaders. He’s worked with companies, executives and entrepreneurs to help them overcome an exhausting pace of life and start maximizing your well being and performance. trained at Duke Integrative Medicine. He is a national board certified health and wellness coach and Principal at dooable health, which helps businesses reduce their healthcare spend by having a healthier workforce. He graduated with honors from the UCD Michael Smurfit Graduate Business School, Ireland’s top MBA program, and is a proven entrepreneur having started and operated multiple seven figure businesses across various industries, including technology, retail and health and wellness. In addition to his executive leadership role and health coaching work, he is also the co founder of a faith based nonprofit called the CL Thomas fellowship. His work has been featured in Forbes Fox, Faith Driven Entrepreneur and JMA Internal Medicine. He offers insights into how to live a sustainable life of provision in his book and podcast, both titled Become a Provider. His podcast guests include expert physicians, professional athletes, entrepreneurs, and New York Times bestselling authors you guys will have, so make sure you check that out. We’ll link all that up in the show notes, of course. But I’m so glad that Justin and I have connected and I’m super excited for this interview. So thank you so much, Justin for being here.
2:20
Yeah, thank you. Jenny, great to be here as well. And you know, we were chatting before this and looks like there’s snow in your neck of the woods. And we’re getting some here in North Carolina soon as well. So thankfully, we can do this from the comfort of our own homes.
2:31
That’s right. Yes, absolutely. I saw where you know, you guys are really getting hit with some snow these days are some colder temperatures. So I think we’ve been missing out on winter. And you guys have been catching it. So yeah, awesome. Okay, well, I want to make sure that our listeners know a little bit more about you, you know, obviously, you’ve got the credentials in health and wellness and entrepreneurship and helping business leaders. But I want to know, like, who is just in day to day, you know, how did you get your start in this and a little bit of your background story. So I’ll just let you go straight in.
3:02
Thanks. Well, you know what it’s it’s funny to reflect on because there’s a little bit of just fortune and luck and blessing and pride, to all get me to where I am now. And I joke about that because, you know, as soon as I went to school, I knew I wanted to go to business like that was a non negotiable. I come from a line of entrepreneurs, my grandfather started in a furniture store business in the evenings while he was doing bookkeeping for like a coal mining company in rural Virginia. And then he handed over the stores to his sons. And then when I got to my generation, my dad said, no, like, you’re not going to do this just and you need to do something else. And so I knew business was in my future to know what that meant. It’s probably one most generic degrees you can possibly get. So, here I am in college thinking like, how am I going to specialize in this? And I saw Healthcare Administration. And I thought, well, that sounds interesting and different and kind of collegey like, right, I mean, you’re supposed to do things that you haven’t done before. And so I signed up for that took a couple courses, and I went to my advisor meeting one day, and I said, you know, I think I’m more into investing. I’m just going to drop his healthcare concentration. And he looked at me and he said, Well, gosh, you know, that stinks. Because we’re about to give you an award, you got a high GPA, and it was a small college. So I think had the highest GPA of all the Healthcare Administration concentrations at the time. And because my pride, I said, Oh, you’re gonna give me an award. I’ll keep it. And so fortunately, that’s a good use the pride of I said, I’ll just keep that. And that actually led me into the, the business of the business side of healthcare. And that’s kind of funny to reflect on it, but I knew I wanted to go into business. And healthcare seemed like an interesting path. I kept that concentration and because of that concentration, I ended up getting hired by a company that was actually developing software for physicians and that was my first job out of college and I’ve stayed in the health and wellness space For most of my career since then, but it isn’t so funny to think of like the small decisions that have such large impacts. And I just have to laugh about that one.
5:08
Absolutely. Well, sounds like we have that in common. I was also raised by an entrepreneurial family. And when I set out to, on my own endeavor, I was met with the same thing, like, Are you sure? Like, you know, you might be working a lot more than you think. And I’m like, Yeah, I know. But I’ll be doing what I love, right. And that’s usually what brings entrepreneurs to what they’re doing. So that’s so funny. I’m also laughing, too, because it’s, I think it’s interesting how I look back on my own journey, as well. And I think it’s so common for people to you know, kids, whether it’s childhood, teenage years College, whatever people recognize in you and pull out in you is typically the path that you’ll follow. And I think about, you know, the same thing for me, like, I was always gifted in writing. And so people would always say, you should be a writer, you should be a writer, and then eventually, in college, you become a writing major. And then you’re told, Well, there’s good luck with that. So maybe you could work in publishing. And so that’s the journey that I took. So it’s just so interesting, how that lines up. So I want to hear from you about, you know, obviously, we kind of align when it comes to health and wellness, and getting people sort of started on their health and wellness journeys. And when we had our sort of pre call before this podcast, we really connected on that topic. So I want to make sure that we talk about that. So what would you say? I mean, obviously, you’re working with probably high paced business leaders and healthcare executives, you know, what are what are some common things that you see in that space? And what what is your direct approach with these with these business leaders? Like what is it you’re, you’re doing exactly.
6:38
A lot of themes that I see and probably similar to what your listeners can relate to, is just that you get so busy with life that you don’t invest into your own health and wellness, and you just become accustomed to this feeling of, well, I’m just always exhausted, or I’m always tired, or I never have time for myself. And, and that’s a good thing, right? I mean, we have this whole theory in business leadership, where it’s called servant leadership. And that’s wonderful. It’s, it’s something that I was taught during my MBA program of, you know, there used to be the traditional management model of telling your subordinates what to do and expected them to do it. And then using that to climb the corporate ladder. And then there’s this whole new theory around servant leadership, and how to serve your, your customers and your employees and your subordinates and your teammates in a genuine way. And while I think that is admirable, I think we’ve taken a little bit too far. And we’ve forgotten to serve yourself and provide for yourself in order to do the same for others. And so there’s this tension in life, and we’re trying to find this balance of how do you make sure that you’re praying for yourself, so you can, you know, serve others in a sustainable way. And it just takes that acknowledgement of, hey, I actually don’t feel great, and to address it, and then that’s where the work starts. And, and so it, you know, different people want start in different ways. And we have this, this thought in our minds of, I know what it means to be healthy, I just need to do it. And I will challenge that to say, well, actually, I think we need to be more curious to say, Will, I don’t really like why, why am I feeling better? And what can I learn to challenge my limiting beliefs in this moment around this field of health and wellness? Because while there are some timeless truths, we’re all unique, and you’ve really got to be genuinely curious about what’s going to work for you. And then there’s a lot of different initial steps to do. And what I find fascinating is the behavioral health side of things, meaning the psychology behind change, because, as you know, it’s really hard. I mean, typically, people need to have a moment where they just feel enough is enough.
8:45
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that it comes up to that every time right? That that rock and a hard place where people are just like I’ve had enough of feeling the way that I feel I need to do something about it. And it’s interesting, because I know when I was working in the corporate world, especially, I was surrounded by a lot of obesity, sedentary lifestyle. I mean, I was sitting in a cubicle eight hours a day myself. And I really, it took a lot of effort on my part, when I did finally embrace that I needed to make a change. I had to get up and walk during my lunch hour, I had to take breaks and walk the floor of the of the building. And you know, I had to set aside time for an early morning workout. And those are things that a lot of people just they don’t they don’t recognize takes intentionality. Or they just think that they don’t have the time to do because they’re at work or whatever. So I think you’re right, I think it comes down to recognizing that it’s time to make a change. But I also think that people out there like the the percentage of people who are out there doing it, the people who are prioritizing their exercise and their nutrition, they are such an example in the workplace, right? Like I can remember there was somebody that I would always sit in a lunch room with and she was always bringing fresh veggies and her lunch and or salad that was you know, super huge and super clean. And I remember thinking here I was with my like peanut butter and jelly sandwich or whatever and thinking, Oh, I should probably like become an adult and change my lunch, right? So and then just seeing people that that do step into that corporate gym, we had a corporate gym on our premises, right or seeing people go for a run at lunch hour. That’s really inspiring. And I think I just want to call that out. Because if you are in that small percentage of people who are moving your body and you are taking it seriously, don’t let you know any sort of negativity or toxicity in your work environment keep you from doing that, because most likely you’re inspiring people, whether you know it or not. So yeah, that’s cool.
10:37
I’m glad you brought that up. Because it reminds me of some good words of wisdom from a manager early on here, I am fresh out of college, you know, with this newly minted business degree, and I go into this startup, and my manager said something that sounded really harsh to me at first, and I was taken aback by it. And I’m so thankful he did, because I see the truth in it. Now, what he told me was, Hey, Justin, no one’s gonna be looking for your career, you need to be intentional about it. And like I said, at first, that seemed really harsh, like, gosh, like, I thought, that’s what the job of a manager was. But thanks for popping that bubble here pretty early in my career. And I think the same thing is true with our health and wellness, where we’re expecting someone else to like maybe this like physician who’s actually not trained in nutrition, whatsoever med school to just tell us exactly what to do. Or we think our spouse or our friends, there’s like this, you know, maybe subconscious part of us that thinks, well, someone’s going to tell me what to do. And then I’ll just do it. And then you realize, just like my manager told me in my career, now, I needed to take ownership of that and to be intentional and not assume that someone is looking out for me in that area. And I think there’s some parallels in our health and wellness journey as well.
11:51
Yeah, for sure, for sure. So what do you think, typically, you know, what I’m thinking specifically about maybe the female executive, and this is something that keeps coming to my mind, as you’re speaking, I’m thinking about the female executive who, you know, is working a minimum of 40 hours a week, she’s got that pressure from her career, she also comes home to, let’s say, small children, or, you know, school aged children and is in charge of the laundry. And, you know, as she’s taking care of the household, too, there’s a lot of stress in her life. And from my perspective, when I’m looking at hormone health, right, I’m thinking about her adrenals and thinking about, is she getting enough sleep? Is she able to prioritize herself? You know, what are your thoughts on sort of whether it’s male or female? You know, what are your thoughts on the person who’s sort of carrying it all? You know, what, what are some things that they should be looking to do? Or what are some first steps, I guess, is the best question.
12:44
I think a great first step is to take time to think about what is your health and wellness vision for yourself to clarify that. And that might sound like too soft of an idea and a step and but I think is critical before you do any of the health hacks. Because then what we’re trying to do, as a health coach to support people in behavioral change, is that I could tell people what to do, but that’s not going to have a long term impact, I could review some of the research and the science. And and that will change some people yet. Most people will change based on relationships. And, and so once you form that, those healthy relationships of those voices in your life, you might change. And then what’s even better is that you’ve got this intrinsic motivation. And I think you can discover that intrinsic motivation, if you take time to think about what is my health and wellness vision for myself, that could be a simple activity of journaling, if you’re a writer, or just visualizing it. And in fact, during the health coaching program, we did an exercise that I was very uncomfortable with, but it was very impactful. And that’s what a lot of things in life turned out to be, isn’t it where the teacher said, Alright, everyone get in your seats, and sit down with your feet firmly on the floor in a comfortable position, palms up, and they let us do this guided visualization, something that I was not very familiar with at all. And I’m looking to my left, and to my right to see, you know, people are really doing this. And sure enough, they’re closing their eyes and the teacher leads us through this visualization process. And the whole idea behind that was to get us in a peaceful frame of mind, concentrating on our breathing for a moment, you know, kind of like doing a mindfulness exercise has become very popular buzz word in this day and age. And if you’re looking for a way of calming the heart rate, and just focusing on the breathing, closing the eyes getting comfortable, that’s wonderful. And you can take it a step further. You go through a visualization process of just kind of imagining meeting yourself, you know, your ideal self, it could be a year from now or further than that. And you kind of do an interview with your future self to see like, hey, you know, how are you feeling and how did you get to this place and any words wisdom for myself? And after that brief exercise, I mean, it’s like, three to five minutes, our teachers had us come back present to the room and actually just gonna write down or draw what we saw. And for me, it was kind of fascinating because I was a skeptic going into that class, I didn’t fit the mold coming from a business background, and then finding myself with, you know, people in healthcare, like nurses and doctors, and then also yoga teachers and instructors. And you know, kind of, it’s not often that I’m the minority as a white male, but I certainly was in that health coach training program, and you feel just kind of like a fish out of water. And so for those that haven’t really been intentional in their health and wellness journey, and you think that’s like someone else, another niche, it’s not like we all can take ownership of our health and wellness and find an authentic vision. And it’s after going through that exercise. For me, I had this vision of like a seasoned Navy Seal, kind of older and wiser, with just more experience of being in the game and stronger. And I don’t come from a military background whatsoever. So it was a fascinating kind of visualization process for me. And that led me to challenge myself to say, well, how can I get closer to this person? How can I become physically stronger, and also just more engaged in life to have some of those war stories in my own version of that in my career, and that actually pushed me, you know, push me to sign up for some endurance events and challenges. And so, back to the question, though, that was a huge moment. For me, I’ve just a way of getting started was going through that exercise of coming up with a health vision for myself. And once you have that, then you’ve got a direction to go towards. And I’m sure that everyone’s health vision for themselves is to have reduced stress. I mean, that could be a common need that that we all have with the demands of our life, especially parents, and you’re trying to balance everything that is thrown upon you, on a good week. And then you’ve just got life that happens even more than that with the unknown events. And so, but if you if you keep that vision in mind that it helps you build that intrinsic motivation to continue doing activities that can be healthy for you, even when you don’t want to that could be starting a mindfulness practice, through apps like calm or headspace or doing it just totally on your own. I had a client who started journaling, and that helped just get all of the stress from the day on paper versus unloading on their partner. So but it all starts with a vision, and then you can experiment. And that’s what I call it. It’s just you’re introducing experiments into your life and think of it as two week experiments to see does this help? Like does this help actually reduce my anxiety? And I know you shared with me, Jenny about a great story of, you know, you wanted to have a routine. And you know, the, the experts say like you need a morning routine. And for you, it just didn’t work, right. And so everyone’s life is different, and your motivations are different, and you just need to personalize it, customize it. And then here you are, you have a fantastic night routine that really serves you well, and inspired me as well, with the questions that you ask. And so I think, you know, I would encourage everyone not to do what other people think you should do, or magazines tell you what to do, or like the latest video recommends. Those are just hacks. If you take time, think about your own personal health vision, then you can come up with strategies that will be more likely to last.
18:20
Yeah, it makes me think of the quote, you know, and I think about this often when I’m when I’m doing a tough workout. You know, I there’s this popular quote, and I’ll probably botch it, but I’ll get to it here. Basically, it’s like, you know, your, your body is completely capable, but it’s your mind that you have to convince. And so I love that you just talk with us about mindset really like how do you get your mind in the right frame of mind to be self aware, to visualize what you want your future or even the day ahead to look like? I think that’s that’s so key. I don’t know. Are you familiar with the book Atomic Habits by James clear?
18:55
I Gosh, that what a wonderful resource. It is. If everyone could just take some time and pick a book to read this year, I think you’d get a lot of value from Atomic Habits.
19:04
Yeah, for sure. I mean, there there are two books regarding habits that I always recommend. That’s one of them. And then Charles Duhigg has a book on habits as well. I’ll link those up in the show notes for people who are listening. But I one thing that I took with me into 2021 Last year was this concept that James Clear talks about of habit stacking, he talks about you know, what is something that non negotiable is just part of your it’s really down into the grooves of your brain as far as you do it every single day, right? Whether it’s brushing your teeth or starting your coffee pot in the morning, like what are those little things that you do? You take a habit that you want to have, and you want to build and create and you stack it with the habit that’s already ingrained. And so I have always struggled and we talked about this before, but I’ve always struggled with a morning routine. So this year, I’ve just decided, Well why am I worrying about it in the morning, like I’m not a morning person. Let’s just do it at night. So I’m doing it at night, which that’s what you’re just talking about. But what’s interesting is I do have these little things that I do every day we all Right. And so one of those things is we have a an espresso machine. And so it takes a couple minutes for my special espresso machine to fire up, you know, maybe three minutes or so and so I just turn on a short meditation on my phone, I put my air pods in, and I just, that’s my three minutes, like, I’ve stacked that habit. So something that I struggled with for an entire year to fit into my day, or I just would push it to the backburner. It really is that simple of okay, what is something that I want to do, and let’s pair it with something that I’m already doing. So just wanted to call that out for anybody listening, that’s looking for a resource there. Because it starts with mindset, it starts with that self awareness of knowing that, okay, this is something I’m going to make a priority, and I need to really be present, right? Like I need to be present and knowing what my what I want my life to look like, I just another thought crossed my mind to have I just listened this morning to I’m a huge Brendon Burchard fan. And I listened to his he has these short little podcasts, and I listened to one this morning, and it was called slow down time. And it was about being present in the moment and understanding like, what your life really looks like. And he said the majority of people are really it kind of goes to this concept of the busy working mom or the busy working father, like we’re just kind of getting through the day, right? Like getting the kids on the bus, getting the dishes thrown in the sink, whatever. And he said in the vast majority of people, what do we what do we do when we’re in that sort of frantic lifestyle? We pour caffeine on it is what he said. And he said We pour coffee on it right? And he’s like, that’s gonna make it better. And it’s so true, right? But then at the end of the day, you’re like, it’s such a blur, like were you present in those moments? And of course, the example he gives us, are you just kissing your spouse goodbye, because it’s a routine. But are you making it a moment? Are you treasuring and making those those moments and so that makes when you were talking about really visualizing and setting aside the time and the breath and the visual space to really understand where you are, right? Like you can’t know where you’re going unless you know where you are, where you’re starting. And so I think that that’s so so key, that whole concept of mindset. Another thing that I think you mentioned, too, is, and I love this, and this is what I want to talk about is, you know, because we wear different hats, thinking again, specifically about the moms out there a lot like me, right? I work from home, and I have to really focus on this is Jenny at work. And then this is Jenny at home, right? Because it’s all happening in my house. And so transitions have been such a huge have played such a huge role for me. And I just want to touch on that and kind of get your take on it. You know, when I’m exiting Jenny, the working woman, and I’m entering my living room, I’m entering the space of Okay, now it’s time for my children. I’ve really had to take I have actually little post it notes above my doorways. There’s a post posted note about my daughter’s my five year olds doorway that says she needs me on my A game right now. And this is a question that I asked myself every night during my nighttime routine. And so it just allows me to like stop before I enter the bedroom, take a breath and be like this is now I’m a mom, like this is who I am right now. So I just want to hear from you, you know, for these people who are like, like I said, doing it all, so to speak, and they’re in this fast paced environment. Let’s talk about transitions, like, what are your thoughts on that? And what do you you know, what are some tips that you might have?
23:15
The first time that I was exposed to that challenge, I remember was as a younger dad, coming home from work where at the time had about a 20-25 minute drive into work in the way back. And I found myself at my worst when I needed to be at my best. So I just came to that realization of well, this isn’t working out or tired after work coming home. And then this is the time that I get to spend with my wife and my newborn daughter, and I’m just exhausted. And like what I wanted to do was the typical thing of like, sit down on the sofa, and watch TV and like, how awful is that that’s exactly the opposite what my family needed at the time. And this is before getting into the health and wellness field were in that season of my career, I was CEO of a small tech company. And so I remember, as he as he said, we we tend to pour coffee on it. And so what I would do is my hack was like, Oh, well, let me just bring a snack. And I’ll just eat it right before I leave the car. And I’ll have kind of have this sugar high going into the family. And that was a good hack, actually, for a little bit. And at least it showed a willingness for me to try to change and do something and so I’d encourage people just even if you’re doing things the wrong way like I was doing where I was trying to sugar load before going home to get a little boost of energy. At least the heart was in the right place. Right? And because the mindset is important if I need to be, you know, you put it so beautifully. I need to be on my A game. And for me, I was just thinking, oh gosh, I just need to be better than you know, I can’t have this be my worst lowest energy type of moment here. And so like how do you change that he knows there’s a strategy of caffeine and sugar to feel physically different. And then that’s not sustainable. It’s not the healthiest way you know, we don’t want to do that. added the whole goal here is how can you do sustainable habits. And so I love your idea of a, you know, a written word to inspire you. And perhaps also something that I’ve tried to take advantage of is to think of not completing a task. But really enjoying the moment and more recent changes, that has been our bedtime routine I’ve got two girls, eight and five at the moment. And so it used to be where I was really excited about maybe doing a little bit more work in the office, and I would be thinking of that project or that item to, to get done. It was actually life giving, it wasn’t stressful for me, I wanted to do it. And I realized I was hurrying up the process as quickly as I could, like, Hey, girls, like, let’s get these teeth brushed, and let’s get like his hair brushed. And let’s get in bed and finish the story. And I just, I just realized, wow, I mean, that’s not the father, I want to be the son of the parent I want to be. And it’s not enjoyable for me. So what I’m sure is they can sense it to even as children that you know, you’re just rushing through this rather than enjoying it. And it actually doesn’t take that much time. More time. Now. It’s it’s like, and they can see, my engagement is much higher, where I’m asking them, Hey, can I tell you a story? Or can we do this, because it’s fun for me. And all I needed to do is challenge myself to say, this isn’t a to do list item to just get done here. This is an experience that I can enjoy.
26:23
Yeah, I love that. You just said that I had an epiphany myself just recently the other I’m like you, I love my work. And so and I do work a lot in the evenings just because I work from home. And it’s sometimes easier when the kids are asleep. And I just had that almost identical moment a few nights ago where I was like, Come on, let’s go like time for books Time for bed. Time to go. And I remember when I left her bedroom, like every parent, you know, you it’s like all day long, you’re counting down to a bedtime, and then they go to bed and you miss them. Right. So like the second I walked out of a room, I’m like, Oh man, I really, I really rushed that moment. So yeah, self awareness is so key there. Well, I’m interested in that I’m going to put you on the spot, because it’s not often that I get male interviewees. And so I want to just you know, and us talk to me about women’s hormones the other day. So we’ve been enlightening each other. So I want to I want to talk specifically about family lifestyle, because this is something that I come up against often, in helping women get started on their health journey, right, they come to me usually saying I feel off, or I can’t lose the weight or whatever. And they finally have this moment of like something needs to change kind of like that rock and a hard place we were talking about earlier. And one of the biggest things that I have found, that holds women back from long term results or long term, you know, effort is spousal support. A lot of times women will say, you know, I started my exercise program, and all my husband does is balk at me about whatever or he sits and watches her on the couch, or he doesn’t want to you know, he’s very opposed to it. Now, I will say, from my own experience, you know, sometimes it takes a little while for what you’re doing to influence others, right? And at the same time, like, I have women that will ask me like, well, how can I get my husband on board? How can I get him to, to want to be healthy, too, or whatever. And my best advice is, don’t say anything to him, just continue what you’re doing. And eventually he will most likely say, Hey, I think I’m going to join you. But I want to hear from you, you know, as a man, as a business leader, as a father, what is your perspective on that? Like, what do you think it is that’s truly at the root of that? And what would you suggest that that people do if their spouse is not supportive?
28:29
Well, I think that’s key to a habit forming is to, we talked about having a vision, and that builds intrinsic motivation. And also having those what we call green relationships is green support people rather than the red and yellows in your life and to identify that. And so yeah, a couple different strategies, right? Like, it’d be easy to say, we’ll just eliminate the reds in your life and greens. And that’s hard to do. And that’s the spouse, right? I mean, that’s the, the exact opposite of what you signed up for. And so let’s assume that that option is off the table, it also goes back to is your current activity that you’re implementing, like, you mentioned, a new workout routine, and they’re not getting the support they need from their spouse. You know, that’s actually when they have that challenge. Think of that, like, actually a blessing. And here’s why. Because what it is, is it’s challenging you were activity, and it’s saying, Hey, do I really want to do this? You know, do I really, am I committed to this, even without the support of my spouse at this time, because then you know, you’ve got the right vision, you’ve got the right intrinsic motivation. And to your point, it’s going to be able to sustain that initial blockage from the spouse, in this case, the husband not supporting the way you want to so it was probably it’s probably good for us all to when we prepare for a new habit, and we’re excited about it. And others aren’t is to actually say this is a good thing, because I’m testing myself like it’s a to is this important for me or not. And then, you know, once you do that you think of it like a blessing rather than a curse, when you have that, that red coming from the other side of the relationship. And then the other thing, too, I what I think is important is to talk to the spouse eventually to say, hey, I want to be the best spouse possibly, I want to be the best parent possible. And in order for me to do that, I need this time, and I need your support. And so they’re that way, you’ve got a vision that you’ve clarified, you’ve put in the time and effort, you’re committed to it. And then all of a sudden, when you share that in a confident way, you’re gonna get his attention. And he’s gonna realize, oh, you know, this is just me being selfish, you know, eventually, they’ll see that because they want the best version of you too. And I think framing it in that way might be helpful for those conversations when appropriate.
30:49
Absolutely. Yeah. But I went earlier, when I said, you know, don’t say anything to him. Obviously, communication is key and every relationship, but I think what I should have said is don’t try to convince him because I think convincing is, you know, I’m not in the convincing business, like, I don’t want to convince anybody, I want you to sort of have reached that conclusion yourself. And then I’m here for you, right. And it’s the same thing with a spouse, like, sometimes just the action of them seeing you consistently pursue this goal, you can, you know, put up with the sarcastic comments at first or the, you know, the resistance, as I like to say, and that resistance is usually coming from the fact that you’re making a change, and that and no matter what, no matter what change it is, it’s different. And so because it’s different, it causes this sort of disruption, right. And so that’s, you just have to kind of overcome that and get through that initial obstacle. And that is so interesting, because it’s so so common, that women want to start something like they feel this intrinsic motivation, or they feel this desire to be healthier, and then getting the husband to give up the Oreos or give it getting the husband to start to get on board with the healthier meals or whatever is the struggle. So I just wanted to put you on the spot and see and it’s your take on it. I want to hear about your you know, your daily routine. Obviously you’re you’re successful person, your your you put your health and wellness, you make it a priority and whatnot. So I want to hear as a family man as a businessman, like what is your day look like from sunrise to sunset?
32:16
Well, what it typically looks like is during the course of a week, active six days out of the week, and at the moment, I have this in goal in mind of a my first endurance MARATHON challenge, which is a 50 miler in March. And so it’s gotten me to clarify my activity goals. And so my routine will look like Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings from 5:30 to 6:15, I joined a group man for an outdoor workout called F-3. And that’s been a very positive influence my life and so very challenging, and just bodyweight workout at that time. And then I’ll do after that group workout, I’ll do a short 30 minute jog, either before or after, as part of my training for the run. And then Tuesday, Thursday, Saturdays will be my dedicated run days. And for those, I’m a little more flexible, so sometimes I’ll do those in the mornings. Other times, I’ll do them in the afternoon, depending on the schedule of the day, how my body’s feeling as well, and what I had before me. And so those are big buckets that all reserved for workout times. And what’s nice about early morning is that it doesn’t influence family life whatsoever. I mean, it’s, it seems crazy, right? For those that aren’t morning people and haven’t done it before. But for me, it’s been great, just from the mind body spirit to join this group of guys, good friends of mine now. And as that’s been helpful for me, and then we also have like a little mini homestead here. So we have just an acre and a half. But we’ve got 12 chickens, a couple pigs and a dog. So my morning routine is feeding them in the mornings, which I like a lot because, you know, there’s this theory in health and wellness, about the importance of cold therapy. And you could do that with an ice bath or a cold shower. And for me, it’s like working outside working out outside is is what’s what does it for me most the time, like this morning was freezing, right? It’s like 25 degrees outside, and you’re out there bundled up. And it’s hard, but it’s this weird, you know, motivation to get out there with the guys a little bit of accountability with it. And so I just give people like an idea that that’s what I’ve gotten into and of course, it didn’t start off that way. And in fact, it was after my daughter was born. My firstborn was born that I I just realized I’m not making any time to exercise and here I am as a new dad and it’s not gonna get any easier. So what am I waiting for? I just needed like, get plugged in. And so I started at that time just doing once twice a week, just some activity like going to the gym and eventually finding this this workout group with the guys and then just three years ago, out of a bet and a dare. signed up for my first run. And so that’s the exercise routine. And then I enjoy making breakfast for the family. Like, that’s a big change in my life where I never cooked, when my wife and I got married, like she did all the cooking and, and I didn’t started until I cared more about what I ate, and not that my wife was not cooking healthy she was, it was just that I became more interested. And I just, you know, it’s weird because I think a lot of guys don’t cook because they just don’t know how to. And so that the motivation is not there if the wife’s always cooking. And, and we did that for the first, I would say 10 years of our marriage. I mean, that was that was it. And what’s been neat for me to see firsthand is oh, it’s possible for me to change being the guy that if I went to the grocery store, what that meant was, I was getting beer, Doritos, and cereal and milk. And then I’d get like, whatever random thing that I wanted for dinner that specific night, but not anything else. And then once I went through a career transition from software development, to healthcare, to more of a health coaching world, you can’t help but just get exposed to more theories and thoughts about it. And for me, you know, a big mind blowing moment was oh, like when you eat certain carbs, it just breaks down the sugar. And so like, you know, that cereal that I was having the morning was just like having sugar. And there’s actually a lot of sugar milk. And so it was it just challenged a lot of my beliefs. And then I got more genuinely interested in curious on this path of how can I improve my health and wellness. And so I’ve been more strategic with what I eat. So all that to say, going back to the morning routine, actually enjoy cooking for the family, breakfast, and teaming them up. And one recent change before then I go, before going into my office here to work. I just started doing this from the request of my wife. And it was to be more involved in the homeschooling experience of our kids. So like many families during the pandemic, we did not appreciate zoom based learning, especially for at the time like a kindergartner. Like it just was not working for us. And we were fortunate to have the flexibility to say okay, like, let’s let’s do it ourselves and take on that challenge. And so we joke that we’re year by year homeschoolers. And going into this year with my wife, I said, My contribution is going to be I’m going to get T shirts made like a startup company, we need t shirts to be legit. And I did that. And low Behold, that wasn’t enough to be really engaged with with the family. And so now I simply do like a fun activity. And just did it before this call is that we have a book that I read to the girls. That’s kind of like, just a good way of starting the day. It’s one called Love Does for Kids by Bob Gough.
37:40
That’s a great book.
37:42
That’s been so fun. Yeah. Hello. I
37:43
love Bob Gough. Yeah, absolutely.
37:47
So I, you know, I read that, and then I go into the office, and I do my work. And I’ve enjoyed it. And what I’d love to is, I can appreciate being at home because you know, having the warm lunches, being able to cook again, it’s just a nice mental break. Like that’s what I’m realizing these chores that we talked about earlier, like the bedtime routines or whatnot, it’s actually a nice mental break from what you’re doing it and in use the word transitions. Think of it like a positive, where you are fully transitioning, you know, from one space to the next ideally. And that’s that’s difficult thing to actually do where you are laying down the burdens from the day, and then stepping into a new role. And what I’ve found, it actually is reinvigorating, where there’s some times that I’m, I’m just in the kitchen, doing some dishes, because I need that mental break, or just to pause on a frustrating problem in the office and to do something different. And I’ve, I’ve found that to be a unique discovery during this pandemic of being all at home pretty much and then how do you do that in a way that is not sucking the life out of you or your family? Because there’s some tension, right, you know, like, there’s another room do their thing, I’m in here trying to do my thing, and, and there’s distress and you’re trying to act like a professional and it’s kind of weird to step into that role. Sometimes when you just know you’re in your house, and there’s all this negative self talk of, you know, am I legit? And, you know, does this make sense what I’m doing? So, that’s a little like peek into my day and some activities that I do.
39:12
I love that. And I think you know, you mentioned you know, first of all I have to connect you to my husband because he’s a he was a division one cross country and track runner. So he’s into the running game 50 miler. Whoa, that’s crazy. From a non runner from from a non runner to a runner. Wow, that’s that’s crazy. But so when it comes to you know, you’re talking about your your Monday, Wednesday, Friday meeting up with the guys for the run and it just I love the idea that you’re surrounding yourself with other people who are you probably like, you know, similar to you who are supportive of your health goals and obviously community is so key, right, like finding people who not just your spouse or or you know, people in your immediate family, but people outside of that who can hold you accountable, you know, that you know, or they know that you’re going to show up on those mornings at that time and that holds you accountable to that commitment. And I think that’s, that’s so key. I love that you’re you know, taking the time to be intentional with your kids with the homeschooling process. That’s amazing. We are. My, my daughter is a kindergartener will she’ll be a kindergartener this coming year. And so we’re kind of evaluating school options, knowing where our world is right now, and what’s, what’s going to be happening. But I’ve noticed that, you know, a lot of times I will get really frustrated with myself over, you know, how am I spending enough time with her, like, on the weekends or whatever, cuz sometimes I will, you know, throw in some work here and there. And one thing that I’ve noticed is, it’s not necessarily the quantity of time, but the quality of time. And I love the fact that, like, you’re reading that book every morning, right? There’s, there’s something that everybody can look forward to, and it is dedicated, you know, face to face time with your kids. So I love so much about what you just said, and your routine. And I think it’s, it goes without saying that successful people have some sort of routine, they have some sort of self commitments and commitments to them, you know, to their family that they they hold as a priority. And I think we’ve kind of come full circle here, I think we’ve talked about the concept of executives and working women and working people who are maybe struggling with burnout, who are feeling that fast paced environment, and they know they need to take your health seriously, we’ve kind of come full circle to what that could look like, you know, what could that look like to to make it a priority. And we started with mindset, we moved through, you know, habit triggers, and talking through little ways to really bring yourself into that into that lifestyle. So before we before we go, I just want to make sure everybody can find a way to connect with you and find you online. So if you could tell us all about your social media handles or or your website, whatnot, that’d be super
41:42
it for those that want more resources, there’s some free resources on my website, and links to all things social at JustinThomascoaching.com, and included in there is what I call the Mater ladder challenge. So for those that are looking for, to develop new habits, and just want some suggestions, there’s a quick video series, eight different habits to explore. And you do one a week, and he do that habit stacking of just build up on the next one. And those things are supposed to help you provide for yourself in order to provide for others and there’s challenges in there such as writing a daily thank you note, to express that gratitude habit. And there’s also items in there of making a commitment to do something you said you’re going to do this week, and so some are daily or weekly. So for those interested check out JustinThomascoaching.com for that free online course. And then at Justin Thomas coaching, Instagram, Facebook, happy to be of service and it’s fun to do this personal development provider journey myself and just share some books and resources like we chatted about with atomic habits. I actually just quoted that the other day of there’s a quote in there about if there’s a habit you want to do think of visual triggers, you know, if it’s drinking water, you’ve got the water bottle right here next to you or, you know, a variety of things with it. So anyway, I love connect with people. And thanks, Jenny for opportunity to chat today.
43:12
Well, I’m so glad our paths have crossed for sure. And I’m definitely going to link up everybody in the show notes to your websites and I love this matter ladder challenge sounds like something I would I’ll even try and see what I can learn for myself because I’m always here to grow and, and then change my perspectives if needed. So thank you so much for bringing your lights and for helping us really understand what it looks like to make these tangible changes if needed. So thanks again. I’m so glad we’ve connected and we’ll talk soon. Thank you bye
43:50
Thanks for listening to this episode of the SYNC Your Life Podcast. I hope you found value from today’s episode. If you did, please share it out to your friends or leave a review. Remember your cycles are your superpower and by aligning with them you can live your life with all the energy you need to be a mom, Wife, Daughter and friend to those you love. Until next time!