REPLAY: Let's Talk About Sex and Intimacy feat. Dr. Celeste Holbrook
Listen to the Episode Below
Show Notes
Welcome to the SYNC Your Life podcast episode #235!
In this episode, we’re throwing it back to one of our most popular episodes on the topic of sex, featuring Dr. Celeste Holbrook, Sexual Health Expert and Consultant. Dr. Celeste and I dive deep into common misconceptions about sex, making sex feel good, sex toys, understanding a woman’s body, intimacy, and so much more. This is a juicy one!
In this episode, we reference the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which can be found here.
I also reference research that has been done on oral contraceptives and their impact on attraction and divorce rates. Read more here.
Dr. Celeste also refers to silicon-based lubricants, water-based lubricants, (both with a pH of 3.5-4.5) and coconut oil as it pertains to sexual lubrication.
I also reference a previous interview here on SYNC Your Life with Matthew and Kimberly Hoffman, found here.
You can find Dr. Celeste on Instagram, Facebook, or via her website, https://www.drcelesteholbrook.com/our-story.
If you feel like something is “off” with your hormones, check out the FREE hormone imbalance quiz at sync.jennyswisher.com.
To join the email list for our upcoming SYNC fitness program, visit sync.jennyswisher.com/fitness.
If you’re interested in a virtual consult with myself and Dr. Paige Gutheil for you and/or your daughter, learn more here.
To learn more about the SYNC Digital Course, check out jennyswisher.com.
Let’s be friends outside of the podcast! Send me a message or schedule a call so I can get to know you better. You can reach out at https://jennyswisher.com/
Enjoy the show!
Episode Webpage: jennyswisher.com/
Transcript
235-SYNCPodcast_CelesteHolbrook
[00:00:00] Jenny Swisher: Welcome friends to this episode of the Sync Your Life podcast. Today we’re doing something different, something we haven’t done before on the show. We’re actually going to be doing a series of throwback episodes. We are well over 200 episodes into this podcast and every day I get a message from someone asking a question about progesterone or asking a question about proper testing or asking a question about what it means to embrace a functional wellness journey and I always find myself referring them back to one of the old but good podcast episodes here on the show.
[00:01:27] Jenny Swisher: So we’re going to take some of our favorite for the next few weeks and we’re going to throw them back. We’re going to do an episode replay so that you can hear these amazing interviews with experts in their field. I’m so excited to introduce you to each one of them here in the next three weeks, but without further ado, let’s dive in.
[00:01:42] Jenny Swisher: Welcome friends to this episode of the Sync Your Life podcast. Today, I’m joined by Dr. Celeste Holbrook. She is a sex expert, and I can’t wait to dive into our conversation today. I’ve had the great fortune of listening to her being interviewed on other podcasts, so I’m familiar with her story. And What she has to share, and I think this is a topic that we really need to hear.
[00:01:59] Jenny Swisher: I can’t believe that we’re 80 some episodes into the podcast, and we’ve not dedicated a single one yet to the topic of sex. We do talk about sex hormones. We talk about women’s menstrual health. We talk about, you know, this feeling of hormone imbalance and what we can do about it and how to cycle sync.
[00:02:15] Jenny Swisher: But today we’re stopping. We’re pausing and we’re saying, no, let’s take a look at our sex life, right? Let’s take a, take a look at our intimacy, our physical touch. This is all super important in the realm of hormone health and in just life in general. So she’s the perfect person to have on. I was referred to her by Leslie Logan of the Be It Till You See It podcast.
[00:02:34] Jenny Swisher: So shout out to Leslie for the referral. But I can’t wait to dive into what we’re going to talk about. We had a chance to connect prior to this, and I wanted to keep going in that conversation. I had so many things that I wanted to talk about, so let’s go ahead and dive in. So Dr. Celeste, welcome to the show, please.
[00:02:48] Jenny Swisher: If you would just tell our audience. Who you are a little bit about your story and how you got to doing what you’re doing.
[00:02:53] Celeste Holbrook: Hi, Jenny. Thank you so much for having me on. It’s such a pleasure. And I feel delighted to be connecting with your audience today. Please just refer to me as Celeste. I’m Celeste. I do have a PhD in health education with a postgraduate emphasis.
[00:03:06] Celeste Holbrook: And sex and sexual behavior. I started in this work because I grew up in a really conservative small town in Texas. And the message that was given to me was I needed to wait until I was married to have penetrative sex. So being the very good girl that I was, I waited until I was married to have penetrative sex.
[00:03:28] Celeste Holbrook: And. It was terrible. It was very painful. And I realized over time when I was trying to get things sorted, that the messaging that I had gotten growing up was causing vaginismus. So vaginismus being when your vaginal canal kind of shuts down and your body is essentially trying to keep you safe from this thing that it had learned over time in.
[00:03:52] Celeste Holbrook: You know, in my small community, that was going to hurt me. And, you know, I’ve been told messages my whole life that sex was going to hurt me. So, um, my body was just trying to keep me safe. And so sex was really painful for the first full year of marriage. And it, and it caused a whole bunch of other things like resentment and shame.
[00:04:08] Celeste Holbrook: And I felt angry towards my partner. And so after a year, I went to an OB GYN who did a full examination and said, Celeste, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. I think you just need to, uh, have a baby. And so, which is terrible advice is terrible, terrible advice. Babies don’t fix your sex life.
[00:04:29] Celeste Holbrook: That is the
[00:04:29] Jenny Swisher: worst advice I think I’ve ever heard.
[00:04:31] Celeste Holbrook: It’s really terrible. And to give you some context, this, um, OBGYN was the same OBGYN that had actually delivered me into the world. It was my mom’s OBGYN. So just to give you a little bit of context of, you know, what that might’ve looked like. So I took matters into my own hands.
[00:04:47] Celeste Holbrook: I was already studying health behaviors. And so I thought there’s just gotta be something I’m missing. So I really started studying sexuality and When I tell you that sex education saved my relationship, I don’t feel I’m being bombastic because giving myself the sex education that I never got growing up helped my body to understand sex as something that was Okay.
[00:05:12] Celeste Holbrook: And safe and eventually pleasurable. And eventually I was able to move through vaginismus to the other side of sex. So sex was, became neutral at first and then, and then pleasurable. So that’s why I got into sex education because it was very intimately involved in my own life. And I saw, you know, I thought if I could help You know, myself, there’s probably one other person out there who’s dealing with this thing that maybe I could help, you know, I have this degree in health education.
[00:05:43] Celeste Holbrook: I’m understanding sexuality and social behavior more in depth. Maybe I can help. So I opened my own practice in 2013 and. Well, I worked for a sex toy company for a while as a sex educator, and then I started my own practice when my twins were born via C section, by the way, not vaginally. So that’s how we’re here.
[00:06:05] Celeste Holbrook: That’s how I got into what I, what I do now. And I feel very privileged and lucky to be able to do it.
[00:06:11] Jenny Swisher: So obviously my first question has to be this, because you know, if you, when you opened your own practice and you kind of started going in this direction, I have to assume that. You found more than one person who maybe had a similar experience, right?
[00:06:23] Jenny Swisher: And that’s why you are still here where you are. So I’d love to hear, and this is something that I had written down for myself to ask you. And it’s, it’s something that I want to make sure we call attention to on the show, because as a woman who also also educates about women’s hormone health and menstrual health, I find that Menstrual health is something that women just don’t talk about, right?
[00:06:41] Jenny Swisher: Painful periods. We just assume, well, this is just what we have to do, right? Or migraine headaches. I think it’s just me. It must just be me. Like it’s just, it’s not something that we talk about in our circles, right? The same thing goes for sex. I can only think maybe of a couple of conversations I’ve ever had with a girlfriend on the topic of sex.
[00:06:58] Jenny Swisher: So my question for you is, what is it about the topic of sex that keeps women from talking about it? Like, what is it that keeps women from making this an everyday conversation?
[00:07:09] Celeste Holbrook: That’s such a great question. Because I think that we are not ever taught or modeled how to talk about sex or even how to have sex.
[00:07:20] Celeste Holbrook: If you think about every other behavior, with maybe the exception of, you know, our menstruation, but every other behavior we are modeled. Like we are, you know, Given a model of relationship as we’re growing up in our households with our caregivers, might not be a great one, but we are modeled relationship behavior.
[00:07:34] Celeste Holbrook: We are modeled driving behavior. We are modeled eating behavior. Granted, all those have a spectrum of healthy and unhealthy that we are modeled. We are never modeled. sexual behavior that is not performed for us. So yes, we’re modeled sexual behavior on porn or in media, but that’s really it. And certainly nobody’s telling us, here’s how you have conversations with your partner or with your friends about sex to normalize.
[00:08:03] Celeste Holbrook: Some of these things that happen to most people, nobody’s having that conversation with us or have not historically had that conversation with us when sex is something like eating and menstruation that so many of us. Have in common, you know, and yet we are never given the permission, the modeling, the learned behavior of having those conversations.
[00:08:27] Celeste Holbrook: So that’s why I think it happens. I think it’s getting better because we are kind of breaking that as, you know, certainly moms and women, we are starting to talk about it more because we realize. That for instance, things like shame around the body and sex die in the light. And so the more that we can talk about them, shame around your period, shame around your vulva.
[00:08:49] Celeste Holbrook: Those are all real life things that happen, but they die when that shame becomes less when we talk about it in community, right? We heal in community. So I think we’re getting better about it. And there’s a lot of opportunity to get more in depth in these conversations, which is why Jenny, that I love that you’re having this conversation on your podcast, because you and I can model having a conversation about sex so that somebody can listen to it and go, okay, these, this is some language I could use.
[00:09:21] Celeste Holbrook: These are some questions I could talk about with my girlfriends or my partner or my OB. Right. So I think this is just the way we, we model sexual conversations.
[00:09:33] Jenny Swisher: I’m just curious, based on your experience and what you do, what would you say, like, how many women, I don’t want to, you don’t have to give me like a set percentage, but how many women do you think are suffering through sex?
[00:09:43] Jenny Swisher: How many do you think are enjoying it? Regularly. And how many do you think are suffering through it?
[00:09:48] Celeste Holbrook: Wow. That’s a, I mean, I can’t, yeah, I can’t put a number on that. We do have some statistics around pain. We know that around 52 percent of women experience pain at some point in their life around sex, but yeah.
[00:10:02] Celeste Holbrook: What’s very frustrating to me is when you go to the OB GYN, typically, unless they’ve talked to me and I force them to change their intake paperwork, typically, you’re being asked, do you have pain with sex and not. Do you experience pleasurable sex? You’re being asked, do you have pain or do you have low libido?
[00:10:25] Celeste Holbrook: Right? Those are the typical, the typical intake forms. And typically nobody’s asking, are you thriving in your sex life? They’re just asking, are you surviving? Are you able to have sex without pain or, or whatever? So that research and data is really hard. It’s hard to gather because nobody’s asking the right questions.
[00:10:44] Celeste Holbrook: Are you having fun in your sex life? Do you know your tools for arousal? Do you feel comfortable asking for what you want, need, and desire? Like those are things that we’re just not good at asking yet.
[00:10:57] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. It’s interesting because when I launched my course in 2020 and women started hopping in, I would say most of them were interested because.
[00:11:05] Jenny Swisher: They wanted to learn why they were feeling off, right? Like they’re checking. I always like to say their check engine lights were flashing, but they didn’t understand why it wasn’t until I really got to know these women and really started working with them more individually through the course that I noticed that a lot of them were struggling in their sex life.
[00:11:21] Jenny Swisher: A lot of them would finally open up and say, sex is really painful or why am I so dry down there? Right. Or some, even in the realm of my marriage is falling apart. I don’t find my spouse. Um, I don’t know if it’s because I’m not sexy anymore or I’m not attracted to them anymore. Is it, is it our relationship or is it me?
[00:11:40] Jenny Swisher: Right? Like, am I dealing, is there an imbalance here? And so I started to really get these questions and it was interesting because. You know, again, it took a while. It took a process to get to that point, right? Like a lot of women would, would start off just wanting to uncover this for themselves. And then once they felt comfortable, it was like, well, actually let me open up and just share with you like what’s really happening.
[00:11:58] Jenny Swisher: And then just recently I was on a phone call with one of the women who has taken the course and who has. Successfully gotten to like the root cause of what’s going on for her. She was severely progesterone deficient. She was living in estrogen dominance. She was extremely moody. She was dealing with PMS symptoms.
[00:12:14] Jenny Swisher: She was sort of this, you know, I’ll say head case. She felt like a head case, right? She felt like she was just going insane on a cyclical basis. And her marriage was suffering as a result of it. And she wasn’t feeling in the mood, right? Her libido was low and through supplementation and adjusting like lifestyle changes.
[00:12:31] Jenny Swisher: It was funny because we had a phone call with her. We were actually friends with them. And we did a zoom call with them about something completely unrelated. And she said, Oh, I just, while we have you on here, I just wanted to say, my husband wants to thank you for saving our marriage because this is totally changing how I feel like from a sexual perspective.
[00:12:47] Jenny Swisher: So I’d love to touch on that too. I mean, this is obviously a podcast that women listen to, to hear more about hormone health. So what would you say, like if, if a hormone imbalance is at play, right, which it could certainly be. What kinds of things could women be experiencing?
[00:13:02] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. And I will preface this by saying I’m a behaviorist.
[00:13:06] Celeste Holbrook: So any hormone related issues I’m referring out. So people come to me because like, okay, here’s my baseline. Here’s what I’m experiencing. I’ve seen, you know, I’ve seen the specialist about my hormones. And so what can I do with the, this? That I have right now. And so almost every client that I see come in, we first take an assessment of what they want to be feeling in sex.
[00:13:32] Celeste Holbrook: Not what they want to be doing, not how much sex they want to be having, but what do you actually want to feel? Because that drives what we do in sex, our emotion. We want to, it drives all of our behaviors. I want to feel calm. So I pet my dog. I want to feel free. So I go for a bike ride, right? So I want to feel erotic, wild, Connected, intimate, you know, what are the things that you want to feel in sex?
[00:13:56] Celeste Holbrook: And so then we build a sex life around those things. Most of what, most of the information we get about sex starts with behavior first, 10 tips to make your toes squirm or whatever it is, right? We start with behavior first. And then we, we say, this will make you feel this when in reality, we have to feel.
[00:14:14] Celeste Holbrook: understand what we want to feel first and then build a behavior around that. Um, and so if somebody is coming into the practice and saying, I’ve, you know, I just feel like I have really low libido. We talk about like, well, what does that really mean? And who decided what was low libido and what was high libido?
[00:14:31] Celeste Holbrook: And why don’t we say that your partner has hyper libido, right? Nobody ever says that. No, it’s always the low libido person’s issue, right? So we do a little reframing around what it means to have low libido. What it means for most people is we’re having arguments about how much sex we’re having. And underneath that, Is really, we’re not connecting in a way that feels good for both of us.
[00:14:58] Celeste Holbrook: So we really just get to the root of like, it’s not about, you could have, you know, sex three times a day for the rest of your life and still be disconnected if you are not doing what it takes to feel what you want to feel. So we do a little level setting on what they’re coming in for. They, you know, everybody kind of wants a quick fix and you probably, um, You know, seeing this too in your practice, you know, tell me what to take so I can have, so we can stop having conflict is really what they’re saying, even though they’re not saying that, what do I do so we can stop having conflict?
[00:15:31] Celeste Holbrook: And so we just level set in that way. And I love it when people bring their partners. I love couple sessions. That’s the best way to go because everybody can learn together how we both figure out. How to get what we both need out of sex. And it’s often not more sex. It is better sex, more quality sex.
[00:15:53] Jenny Swisher: Yeah.
[00:15:53] Jenny Swisher: The piece of connection is so huge and that’s where I want to go to next is, you know, I was listening to something else recently and it was on the topic of marriage and sex. And it was talking about how women, especially by nature require more intimacy and this sort of deeper level of connection.
[00:16:12] Jenny Swisher: Obviously men do too. But in order to get to that state of arousal, a lot of times there does need to be a connection, right? There needs to be some form of intimacy that happens beforehand. A lot of the time, when I was listening to this, it was interesting because they were, it was a cycle seeking, uh, expert talking about just the changes in your menstrual cycle and how There are times of your cycle.
[00:16:31] Jenny Swisher: You may be, you know, have a stronger libido around ovulation, whereas, you know, heading up toward your period, when things start to flatline, you might not see that libido as much. Right. So understanding our body and the ebbs and flows of our menstrual cycle can help us kind of determine when am I most likely to be in the mood, as opposed to most likely to be ready for some Netflix and chill out.
[00:16:49] Jenny Swisher: And so listening to this person, it made total sense, you know, made sense as to, and I see this and I hear this often from the women that I meet. Which is, you know, my husband wants to get right to it. Like he’s, you know, maybe it’s hyper arousal. Maybe he’s just wanting more sex or whatever the case is.
[00:17:05] Jenny Swisher: And they just don’t feel into it at the beginning. And so they want more of like a connection piece beforehand, right? Like whether it’s a date night or a deep conversation or whatever. So I’d love to hear your perspective on, you know, talking more in detail about this connection piece.
[00:17:20] Celeste Holbrook: So I will preface this by saying, I.
[00:17:24] Celeste Holbrook: As somebody who believes we’re socially conditioned for most things, remember that men are socially conditioned that to lean towards sex for connection. And women are socially conditioned over time to lead towards conversation for connection. That’s just the socialization we’re given from day one, men are sexual women are relational, right?
[00:17:46] Celeste Holbrook: And that doesn’t mean that’s how you are born. That. Is up for debate, but it does mean that this is what you’re kind of the package deal that you’re kind of given and so understanding for both partners in a heterosexual relationship that if you know, I as a man lean toward feel better and more connective once we’ve had sex.
[00:18:09] Celeste Holbrook: And I, as a fee, as a woman feel like I need some connection first before I can feel vulnerable enough for sex, talk about that. Like talk about what each of you need to feel connected. You know, do, do I need some vulnerable conversation? Okay. Do I need some, you know, talk during date night? Like what you’re saying?
[00:18:31] Celeste Holbrook: That’s great. That’s totally fine. It’s not everybody. Not every woman is like that. Not every man is like this, but if you can know, that’s what you. That’s how you’re built, then you can just build that in. Right. I always say that the, the next sexual experience starts right at the end of this sexual experience.
[00:18:52] Celeste Holbrook: Like we’re, we’re always working towards connection or working away from connection. And so if that means. You know, one of the biggest killers of libido actually for women and for a lot of people is responsibility. And because women carry more cognitive and emotional load in the household, typically that tends to interrupt the levels of arousal more than almost anything else.
[00:19:18] Celeste Holbrook: And so how can we build a life together where, you know, she is carrying a little less of the cognitive and emotional load of the household so that she can show up in. eroticism with her whole self, because eroticism is like the opposite of responsibility. Eroticism is curious and wonderment and a little wild and a little healthy sense of irresponsibility, right?
[00:19:43] Celeste Holbrook: It is a letting go, whereas responsibility is Uh, tight and it is a specific and it is, you know, held down. Uh, so moving from that responsibility space to the erotic space for women can be just difficult because we have been socialized to believe we need to carry more of the emotional load of the household, the cognitive load of the household.
[00:20:05] Celeste Holbrook: We’re the ones who know what brand of toilet paper to get. It’s not just that we are the ones often getting the toilet paper because often. That physical labor is shared quite equally among partners, but we are the ones who know which kid likes which type of carrots. And so that in and of itself is one of the biggest impediments to connection and to sex for, for a lot of heterosexual households.
[00:20:28] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. So good. I’m wondering too, you know, like, What kind of tips would you have for someone, for a woman in particular, who wants to know more about like, what is the best way to communicate with my spouse about sex? Like if I’m feeling like I’m not pleasured, right? If this is, if someone’s listening and they’re like, I don’t feel like I’m pleasured or it’s.
[00:20:45] Jenny Swisher: I mean, I’ve been in conversations before where I was at a lunch date with a group of girlfriends. And when we were leaving the lunch date, one of the friends was like, Oh, I have to go home and my husband’s home for lunch hour and he’s going to expect sex. And it was like, it made us all so sad. Cause it was like, Ooh, you know, like that sounded awful, but I think it’s common.
[00:21:02] Jenny Swisher: I think there’s a lot of times where. Women maybe are not community or mutually man too, like not communicating their dissatisfaction or, and not like you said before, not necessarily about the quantity of sex, but about the quality of sex. So my question for you is how do we best communicate with our spouse or significant other, whether it’s during sex itself or when sex isn’t happening?
[00:21:27] Jenny Swisher: How do we talk to them about sex?
[00:21:29] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. Uh, one of the best ways is to figure out what you both want emotionally. Like that conversation we had earlier about, Hey, what is it that you want to feel in sex? Which is this question is a little easier to access for women a lot of times, because we’re used to speaking about our emotions and a little harder to access for men.
[00:21:47] Celeste Holbrook: I don’t know what I want. Pleasure, you know, so being able to have that conversation first can be helpful. And then start having a conversation of, okay, well, what would, what would help you get more pleasure or whatever, but as far as specifically asking for more of what you want, here’s where. Women typically have to do a little bit more work to understand what it is that they like and desire.
[00:22:14] Celeste Holbrook: Right? We are not conditioned to touch our vulvas. Like penis owners are conditioned to touch their penises from the very beginning. When we’re potty training, you know, kids with penises, like grab your penis pointed towards the toilet, like shoot the cheerio. And with kids with vulvas, we’re. Sit down, use toilet tissue.
[00:22:34] Celeste Holbrook: And we’re just not conditioned from the very beginning to be comfortable touching vulvas, our own vulvas. And so if you want better pleasure in sex, it is your responsibility to understand your body and how to give yourself pleasure, which can be very daunting for a lot of people, especially if you grew up in church and maybe masturbation wasn’t something that was ever encouraged for you, but it is actually not your partner’s responsibility.
[00:23:00] Celeste Holbrook: To know what you like, it is their responsibility. Once you’ve asked them like, Hey, can you do this? It’s their responsibility to engage with that conversation and say, yes, I can know I can, but it is not their responsibility to just magically know what you like and what you don’t like. That is something that you have to explore on your own, touching your vulva using, you know, trying a toy on your own in the shower with a shower head, like.
[00:23:25] Celeste Holbrook: Figure out what feels good to you. So then you can communicate to them, but just waiting around and hoping, you know, that they’re going to figure it out is just, it’s abdicating your responsibility, you know? And so my, my biggest takeaway is learn what you like, learn, learn what you like, what you don’t like, and then you can start figuring out how to ask for those things.
[00:23:50] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. I think a lot of times, you know, it’s, I think about Renee Brown talks about, of course, she’s always talking about shame and this concept of shame. And I heard her speak one time about an argument that she had with her spouse and hearing you share this makes me think of that because she talked about how essentially at the end of this argument, they weren’t really sure what they were arguing over, but at the end of the day, she had a story in her head that was different than the story that was in his head.
[00:24:13] Jenny Swisher: Right. And how true is that when it comes to sex, like First of all, I mean, we haven’t said it yet, but I think it goes without saying that society, television, right? Like things that we see, even books that we read, put out this sense of like, hot sex, like this, right? And then you get into the moment. I know, I know for me, and I just have to share this, like shower sex is almost never what you see on TV, right?
[00:24:35] Jenny Swisher: Like, let’s just say what it is like, will
[00:24:37] Celeste Holbrook: someone
[00:24:38] Jenny Swisher: please just identify that? Like, Okay, first of all, if it’s anything like my house, the shower gets cold too fast, like that’s not fun, right? Like, anyways, we’re not going to get into that full speed, but regardless, like I think we see, we see sex on TV. We, you know, and we assume that it’s going to be this like hot saucy thing when really it, it takes effort.
[00:24:58] Jenny Swisher: It takes understanding your body. It takes knowing what you want and what feels good and being able to share that. I want to ask you a question regarding, oh, I wanted to come back. Sorry. I got distracted there. Shower sex distracted. They got me distracted. So coming back to this Brene Brown thing though, this idea of shame, you know, she talks about how the story in your head is different than the story in my head.
[00:25:16] Jenny Swisher: Right. And If we’re not sharing that, if we’re not saying like this, you know, this doesn’t feel good or this does feel good, or maybe try this, like we’re not verbally saying that and we’re just assuming that the, like you said, we’re putting the ownership on, on the significant other to figure out what feels good for us without communicating back.
[00:25:34] Jenny Swisher: That’s, that’s the same thing. That’s like an, it’s almost like an argument without being an argument. You know what I mean? And so of course there’s dissatisfaction there. So I love that. I want to ask you about sex toys in particular. I, when I first started following you on Instagram, you were, one night we were, I was scrolling my Instagram, sitting on the couch.
[00:25:50] Jenny Swisher: My husband walked up behind me to hand me a drink. And the first, uh, image on my Instagram was you with a sex toy. And he, and he was, he like turns his head and looks at me like, Oh, and I’m like, Oh, I’m interviewing her on the podcast. Like, I think he got excited. So I wanted, I wanted to hear from you, you know, what, tell us about sex toys.
[00:26:06] Jenny Swisher: Cause I think this is something that, again, a lot of women are maybe hesitant to, or they don’t understand.
[00:26:11] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. So the, the first thing I’ll kind of say, like in general, any adult toy that you get, it’s only job is to help you feel novel sensations. So novel sensations is the only job the same way that you might want to wear some lingerie.
[00:26:30] Celeste Holbrook: It feels this lace feels nice on your skin or feels a certain way or, um, same way you might get some beautiful sheets on your bed. It feels good on your skin. It feels good when you’re laying in there, right? So think about how sex is really a utilization of almost all of your senses and lots of times all of your senses all at once.
[00:26:50] Celeste Holbrook: And so sex toys just. Help bring in novel sensation. So sometimes they are, you know, vibration sensations like a, like a clitoral vibrator. Sometimes they are cooling sensations like a, an arousal cream. Sometimes they are flavored sensations like flavored lubricant. So that’s all that’s happening is they’re bringing novel sensations because novelty fuels arousal.
[00:27:15] Celeste Holbrook: Novelty fuels arousal. And so when you have novel sensations, you can feel more arousal in sex. So if you’ve never had a sex toy before, and you are a clitoris owner, the best place to start is a clitoral vibrator. They look, um, they look like bullets. They’re small. They typically don’t look like penises.
[00:27:36] Celeste Holbrook: They look sometimes the size of like a lipstick tube. And What you’re going to do is you’re just going to start out on your thighs and get used to how the vibration feels, maybe even with your leggings on or your underwear on. And then you kind of move up towards your vulva, you move up towards your clitoris, your clitoris is just above your urethra where your urine exits your body.
[00:27:59] Celeste Holbrook: And. Just kind of get used to what the vibrations feel like. You might not like it directly on your clitoris and that’s okay, but you might like it in the folds of your labia or, or whatever. Okay. So, and then other tools, other toys, if you like vaginal penetration, which just to give you some data, 62 percent of vulva owners have their first and most of their orgasms through clitoral stimulation.
[00:28:24] Celeste Holbrook: So that means external stimulation. But if you like internal stimulation, you can get vibrators that are more like penis size, and they can go inside your vaginal canal and vibrate inside the vaginal canal. So if you’re just starting out, a clitoral vibrator is the way to go. Remember that they’re just novel sensations.
[00:28:46] Celeste Holbrook: I work for the velvet box. I’m their health educator. And we’re, there’s something the One of the biggest questions that comes into the store when people are buying their first toy is, well, my penis can’t vibrate. Is she going to want the peanut? Is she going to want the sex toy over my penis? And the answer is no, right?
[00:29:05] Celeste Holbrook: Because You cannot ever replace intimacy with a toy, right? The toy is just giving you different sensations, but the intimacy can only be created by two human beings. At least for now, I don’t know. AI is getting pretty fantastic. I don’t know. Maybe in the future, there’ll be AI sex toys that can replace humans, but for now, you cannot replace intimacy with a toy.
[00:29:29] Celeste Holbrook: So. Starting out, you try a clitoral vibrator or a vaginal vibrator that you can use on your clitoris and your vaginal canal, but then you can kind of branch out into things like male masturbator sleeves, um, cock rings. There’s all kinds, there’s all kinds of things out there, but if you’re just getting started a little clitoral vibrators, the way to go.
[00:29:50] Jenny Swisher: So I also wanted to ask this question. I think it was the same podcast that I was listening to with a different sex expert talking about. Things that you can do in your sexual experience to elevate or heighten your arousal as a female. And one of the things that they mentioned, which was new to me, I had not heard of it before was I believe they called it edging, this idea of edging to get to the orgasm.
[00:30:13] Jenny Swisher: Is that something you’re familiar with? And is that something that you recommend as well?
[00:30:17] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. And so edging can feel really great for some people. It’s feels real. It can feel really obnoxious for other people. So the idea is. That you do whatever you like to do, however you like to be touched. And you get really close to an orgasm and then you back off.
[00:30:33] Celeste Holbrook: And then once you’re kind of at a plateau stage, again, you edge up closer to that orgasm and then you back off. So it can make your orgasm eventually a little more strong. Um, it can teach you how to have multiple orgasms because you’re used to being In a heightened state for longer, but yeah, that’s definitely something that can increase pleasure for a lot of people.
[00:30:53] Celeste Holbrook: So, you know, using your toy to get close and then taking it away and then getting it close again and taking it away. And, and penis owners can do this too, you know, after they have an erection, you know, using your hand or with penetration or whatever, getting close to, uh, uh, ejaculation and then stopping.
[00:31:12] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. And I think, you know, I think there’s so much to be learned, right? Like there’s so much, again, it comes back to this idea of like, Sex education. I mean, I’ve, I’ve said it so many times on this podcast, right? Like when I, when people come into the course or they come into my sphere and they start learning, like that their body might not actually be ovulating that their book, that their body might not actually be textbook, right.
[00:31:33] Jenny Swisher: Of what we learned in seventh grade. Like, and like you said, we were not familiar with. What all is down there? I have two little girls. I have two little girls under the age of six. And so they’re, you know, it’s interesting as you see, especially as a toddler, you see them sort of start to learn about their bodies and you think to yourself, like, wow, no one really ever talked to me about this, right?
[00:31:53] Jenny Swisher: Like I saw a textbook picture of what my. What my female anatomy looks like, and I’m just supposed to know what to do, right? Of course, it takes exploration. Of course, it takes learning more and experimenting with different things. One thing that I know we had talked about when we had previously connected, and I wanted to make sure we brought it to this show as well, is this idea of, I don’t know what, what word I want to use, but just body consciousness, self image, body image, body positivity, whatever, whatever direction you want to go with it, right?
[00:32:21] Jenny Swisher: Like, I see this and I hear about this often. I just had a woman recently who had reached out actually through the Facebook group associated with my course and I love that the women in there feel so comfortable that they can ask whatever questions they want, which is great. But she, she asked the question, you know, is it just me?
[00:32:39] Jenny Swisher: Or like, I can’t find myself comfortable enough to have sex with the lights on. That was a question that she asked. And that was something that her husband was asking for. And she was, you know, very self conscious, very sort of insecure and maybe, you know, afraid of what he might think or see. And she was like, you know, we’ve always had sex with me having a shirt on or with me having the lights off.
[00:32:59] Jenny Swisher: And. I think this is common. Like it was interesting, the number of women that were commenting on that posts and that were familiarizing. So I want to make sure we address it. Cause I think as a health and fitness coach, as someone who helps women become more confident in their bodies and help them understand their body more, I think it’s important that we touch on this.
[00:33:16] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. And I, and I really appreciate that you touched on this too, because I think so, I mean, can we say a hundred percent, a hundred percent of probably people and specifically women feel uncomfortable in their body at times, you know, maybe it’s not all the time, but maybe it is when you’re totally naked and vulnerable, like, you know, so.
[00:33:36] Celeste Holbrook: I know, you know, this will, we could have a whole semester long conversation about body neutrality in this moment. Let’s just talk real quickly about how number one, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do if you don’t want to have sex with the lights on, and that’s the hard limit for you.
[00:33:51] Celeste Holbrook: Meaning like, I just don’t see this changing for me. That is okay. You can have sex with a candle lit, a soft candle. You can keep a big oversized, maybe your partner has big oversized button down shirt and you can unbutton the middle. So there’s like a little exposure, but you’re feel more covered up than if you were naked, right?
[00:34:10] Celeste Holbrook: There’s just ways around finding that balance of I want to, you know, feel the pleasure of pleasing my partner visually and also feeling comfortable, right? Because if you don’t feel comfortable, or if you feel like pressure during sex, sex is not going to go well for you. It might go well for your partner, but that’s not the intimacy that you’re probably looking for.
[00:34:36] Celeste Holbrook: We want it to go well for both of you. And so what I call these kind of activities that we do to feel better. I call them harm reduction activities. So I don’t have sex with the lights fully on. I just have sex with a candle on that way. There’s some soft glow and you know, you can see outlines, but I don’t feel totally exposed.
[00:34:55] Celeste Holbrook: Like I’m in a dressing room with fluorescent lines, right? So the reason I call them harm reduction activities is because the harm has been done by society. That tells us, especially women that your body is not sexual enough, right? And that’s bullshit because your body is sexual because it can experience pleasure.
[00:35:20] Celeste Holbrook: If you can experience pleasure in some way, shape, or form, even the pleasure of your partner, brushing their hand down your wrist. You are a sexual being. Okay. We’re all built for pleasure. Now, whether we can access it or not is our job, but we are built for pleasure. So society has given this norm that our bodies aren’t sexual enough.
[00:35:41] Celeste Holbrook: And they’d give the society has given this message through media and through advertising and https: otter. ai Uh, kind of like a male gaze of advertising, right? I love that song, uh, Victoria, the one song about Victoria’s secret, how, you know, the Victoria’s secret is that Victoria’s secret was Lex Wesner, a man who created this, you know, entity that told us all that we were not thin enough.
[00:36:06] Celeste Holbrook: Right. So think about these activities as harm reduction activities and work towards neutrality. You do not have to love your body. You really actually don’t. That might be too far of an ask. I hope you love parts of your body. I do, but you can harm reduce for the rest of the shit. You can put on the, uh, the lingerie that makes you feel good because it covers up some piece that society keeps on telling you is not okay.
[00:36:32] Celeste Holbrook: Right. So find neutrality around what you can love, what you can and harm, reduce the rest and feel the pleasure. So the second piece of this is harm reduction is first and pleasure is second in terms of anchoring into your sensations, right? Cause sex is not about how you look. It really, really is not sex is about how you feel, what you experience, the sensations you’re having.
[00:36:56] Celeste Holbrook: How does your clitoris feel right now? What does the fan feel like blowing on your butt? Well, what are your, what are your nipples feel like when they’re being sucked or licked? What is your, how do you feel when you’re, your partner is topping you and pulling your hair? Like, how do you feel? That is what we’re getting out of sex.
[00:37:14] Celeste Holbrook: Not what you feel. Look like it’s my, it’s my absolute soapbox. Yes. I know. I’m so glad I asked the
[00:37:22] Jenny Swisher: question because I’m like making a mental note for myself that that’s our, our mic drop moment. Um, that’s so good though. And I, you’re so right. Like, I think I told you when we talked previously, you know, I remember when this person asked the question in the Facebook group, somebody else commented and wrote.
[00:37:38] Jenny Swisher: You’re the only one worried about it. I assure you that he’s going to be turned on no matter what, right? Like we seem to focus so much sometimes on like, Oh, but my lower belly or my, my arms or this or whatever, right? Like exactly what you were just saying. We let society dictate the sexiness of, you know, it’d have to look like a Victoria’s secret model in order to, to feel a certain way.
[00:37:56] Jenny Swisher: And it’s in reality, again, it kind of comes back to like, The man or the significant other that you’re having sexual relations with man or woman can be, you know, they can be just totally aroused in the moment. And by you and the intimacy, it has nothing to do with your lower belly or your arms or whatever, whatever you’re thinking about in your own head.
[00:38:14] Jenny Swisher: Right. So, yeah, I love this. I love that. And I just think. Yeah. You know, I always think to myself and my grandma used to always say she would make jokes about her, her body. And it was always so funny because she would, she loved to cook, right? She loved, she was like the pork loin and gravy, um, Sunday dinner grandma.
[00:38:31] Jenny Swisher: And she used to make comments and say things she’d be like, Oh, and she’d kind of pat her belly and she’d be like, Oh, I need to, you know, I need to lose some weight. And then she’d say, ah, nobody’s going to care what I’m in my casket. And that was always our joke. And it’s like, I think of it so much though.
[00:38:44] Jenny Swisher: You know, like in all reality, like You’re going to take that beautiful Victoria’s Secret body to the grave? Like, okay, cool. Like, you want to be healthy. You want to be fit. You want to feel good, right? It’s about feeling good. And let’s, let’s please change the, the language. Let’s change the language from what you look like to how you feel, right?
[00:39:01] Jenny Swisher: Let’s measure everything in your energy. And the same thing goes for sex too.
[00:39:04] Yes.
[00:39:05] Jenny Swisher: I want to ask this question and it’s, I mean, it’s all intertwined, of course, with what we’ve been talking about. Yeah. For those who are in a relationship, how can we, you know, I was listening to, I think it was Shelly Johnson talking about this recently on her show.
[00:39:18] Jenny Swisher: She was talking about how it oftentimes takes intention, right? Intention, intentional effort to create an excitement around sex outside of that moment of sex. You, you mentioned earlier, the next sexual experience starts when the last one ends, right? You talked about texting with her husband, right?
[00:39:36] Jenny Swisher: Creating like, You could call it like tease material, right? Like different things that she’s that she’s utilizing to really Make the both of them excited or to look forward to I also know there are people out there that swear by Making it a priority so much as to put it on the calendar like making sure that it’s you know And not to not to say like, oh, it’s our tuesday night sex night or whatever But just making it more of a focus.
[00:39:58] Jenny Swisher: So how would you say like from a relationship angle? How can you make sex a priority in a relationship? And how can you make it something that’s exciting when you’re not in that moment? How can you kind of lead up to it?
[00:40:07] Celeste Holbrook: So one of the things that I’m often talking to couples about is to create intentional sexuality.
[00:40:14] Celeste Holbrook: And so this is kind of a blend of, it’s not scheduled sex. It’s not, you know, sex every Tuesday, like you’re going to the dentist, but it is like, well, let’s talk about. Just like we talk about the business of marriage, just like we talk about here are the bills we need to pay this week, or this is thing thing that’s coming up, we need to schedule some childcare.
[00:40:34] Celeste Holbrook: Let’s talk about sex in those terms like, hey, you and I are both off work on Thursday and home. Like, what if we carve out an hour for some sex or just sexual experiences or some intimate time, right? So it’s typically not something that we do because we are taught. That sex or good sex is spontaneous, and that is a myth.
[00:40:55] Celeste Holbrook: Good sex is not spontaneous. Good sex is anticipated, right? If you think about when you were first having sex with your partner, you’re like, Ooh, you know, I’m going over to his house on Thursday to pay, play Scrabble. I must shave my legs because, and like, you think like, Oh, when we were first together, we had all that spontaneous sex.
[00:41:16] Celeste Holbrook: No, you didn’t. You were thinking about it because things were new and fun. You were definitely thinking about sex before sex happened. You were anticipating it and it felt spontaneous because it was less difficult to get into than it is now in a long term relationship. Yes, sex is harder to get into for most of us after we’ve been in relationship for a while.
[00:41:42] Celeste Holbrook: And that is just okay, but you can create intentionality and, and anticipation around sex that makes sex good. So if you say like, okay, we’re going to carve out this hour or whatever on Thursday, To get in the shower together and see where things go. And maybe they don’t go farther than that. And that’s okay, but you have planned on some central time together.
[00:42:06] Celeste Holbrook: And to add onto this, what works really well for a lot of people is planning off days too. So if we are planning on intentional kind of sexuality on Thursday, Take it off of anybody’s mindset on Wednesday, because what happens for so many people and so many of your listeners are going to recognize this is that when sex is always supposed to be an option, you start to move away from your partner.
[00:42:39] Celeste Holbrook: Okay. So they’re like behind you in the dishwasher and they like give you a little squeeze on your shoulder and you move away because you are not feeling like sex and you don’t want to give Into any idea that you are ready for sex. Right. Um, and we. This is very common. And what you’re missing out on is affection.
[00:43:00] Celeste Holbrook: So we’re missing out on affectionate touch because we are worried we will have to make it erotic. So when you take sex off the table, you actually lean more into affection. Let’s just sit here on the couch and Netflix and hold hands. Let me drape my leg around your leg because that feels really good to me.
[00:43:20] Celeste Holbrook: And I know that it’s Not going to go erotic because affectionate touch is just as connective, just as important as erotic touch. But when we are so worried that it’s going to go erotic, we miss out on affection. So one of the things that I’m, I’m encouraging you to do is to make off days for sex as well.
[00:43:44] Celeste Holbrook: Like we’re not going to try and have sex on Wednesday. It’s a tough day for all the kids. It’s a tough day for us. Like, let’s just connect affectionately and hold those boundaries. And then you have a more balanced blended approach to your intimacy.
[00:44:01] Jenny Swisher: I have a couple of things that I want to make sure we touch on.
[00:44:02] Jenny Swisher: One is, and you’re making me think of this as you’re speaking, because I’m a huge fan of one of the first things my husband and I did when we first got married, we were part of this church group and the church group read the book, the five love languages and the five love love languages. I’ve now also read the children’s version to see what love languages my children have as well.
[00:44:20] Jenny Swisher: Highly recommend. I’ll link it up in the show notes if you guys haven’t read it, but I learned so much about my spouse. This was in our first year of marriage through reading that book together and, um, through taking the quiz and, and reading through it all, it made total sense. And he is still to this day, a physical touch, love language, and it doesn’t always have to be sex, right?
[00:44:40] Jenny Swisher: Like he wants me to sit with him on the couch. He doesn’t want me to sit. Three feet apart. He wants me to drape my legs over him. He wants me to get under a blanket with him. He wants us like that’s his love language. And he wants to walk by me at the dishwasher and rub my shoulders. Like he wants to do that sort of thing.
[00:44:55] Jenny Swisher: And that’s how he shows affection. And I think physical touch might’ve been my last love language. Like it, it’s just, it’s not as important to, like, I’m not a hugger, right. But even when I see a girlfriend, I’m not, my first inclination isn’t to just run up and hug them or hold their hand. Like that’s just not my style.
[00:45:09] Jenny Swisher: So for me, it takes. That was such a pivotal moment, even in our marriage. We’d been together since high school. We were high school sweethearts. But understanding and knowing like this is how he feels loved helps me so much with, with making that an intentional effort and instead of backing away and saying, Oh, I hate this.
[00:45:25] Jenny Swisher: Like, cause it’s not me saying, okay, this is how he feels love. And then vice versa. Right. My, my love language is acts of service. So when he, you know, decides to vacuum the rug spontaneously without me asking, like, it’s a very hot thing. Like, it’s like, Oh, like he’s mowing the grass. He’s, he’s doing things around the house.
[00:45:44] Jenny Swisher: He’s taking care of the kids. Like nothing could be sexier to me than that. Right. So highly recommend that book too. If you’re wanting to kind of figure out your intimacy on a new level, like figuring out what your love language is and what your spouse’s love language is is so, so cool. But I also, before we run out of time, I want to make sure that we We kind of touched on it early on, but I want to come back to it a little bit before we wrap up.
[00:46:04] Jenny Swisher: And that’s this idea of low libido, perhaps underlying hormone imbalance issues. I wanted to share this with you. I’m not sure if you’ve heard this. I’ve heard this shared on two different platforms. So I’ll have to link up the official PubMed research in the show notes, but it’s talking about how they’re finding this information.
[00:46:22] Jenny Swisher: Now, of course, we are a society that is So many women are on oral contraceptives. Okay. So, and my audience knows if they’ve listened to a show before they know that oral contraceptives prevent you for the most part, hormonal contraceptives prevent you from having fluctuations. They prevent you from ovulating.
[00:46:39] Jenny Swisher: So they’re in effect, sometimes suppressing your libido because that’s the purpose is to keep you from ovulating. Right. And so I’m not here to shame oral contraceptives or birth control. There’s a place for that. Absolutely. There are people that want it and require it. And that’s totally cool. But understanding that these types of things can play a role in our libido and understanding that is so cool and so key.
[00:47:01] Jenny Swisher: The thing that I’ve been reading this, this research that I’ve heard about and that I’ve been reading about is pointing to the increase in divorce rate, the increase in separations and relationships as it pertains to women who’ve been on birth control. And it’s kind of cool because what it’s talking about is how, because birth control is suppressing the ovulation process.
[00:47:22] Jenny Swisher: And it is. As a result, suppressing the pheromones that are, that are produced during that ovulation, that sometimes these, these relationships are happening with almost like a false sense of attraction that, you know, in a heterosexual example, a male and female are attracted to each other, but if the woman’s on oral contraceptives, it could be that those oral contraceptives are sort of.
[00:47:46] Jenny Swisher: Preventing her true pheromones from being exposed. And so the man is sort of being attracted to something that she may not actually be, which comes off of those oral contraceptives. She has a different, different natural pheromones and that sort of thing. So it’s really interesting to see how stuff like that plays a role.
[00:48:01] Jenny Swisher: And I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. Cause I know again, that you’re a behaviorist, but I do want to just say, cause again, I hear this often. I’m super dry down there, or I don’t, I don’t feel into it. I don’t feel highly around. It takes me forever to become aroused, right? Like all these things that I hear often.
[00:48:17] Jenny Swisher: So my, the one thing that I want to say, just as someone who teaches hormone health is if you’re not doing regular testing on your sex hormones, please do right. If you are anywhere from. your teenage years, early twenties, you don’t feel like you have any imbalance issues, perfect. Then that’s even more reason you should do the testing because you’ll be able to look at that later in life if you do have issues and compare the two.
[00:48:39] Jenny Swisher: So you need the testing no matter what, especially women I see entering perimenopause, right? Their progesterone starting to decline, their libido maybe start to, starts to decline a little bit too if there’s an imbalance at play. Testing is so key because you can look at these things, right? Your estrogen plays a role in your libido.
[00:48:54] Jenny Swisher: Your progesterone plays a role in your libido and your testosterone plays a role in your libido. So if those things aren’t where they should be, that’s things that you can fix through supplementation, through nutrition, through lifestyle changes in working with a functional medicine doctor. So my questions for you come down to number one, if you have any two cents on that, but also what kinds of things can we be doing, like, Are there lubes that you recommend?
[00:49:17] Jenny Swisher: Are there things that can help with dryness? Are there things that can help with those imbalances to help sex be more enjoyable?
[00:49:23] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. Yeah. Um, so let’s talk about lubricants first, because I think that’s one of the number one questions is like, I’m feeling really dry for, for whatever reasons. And it can be because you are, Taking antihistamines, right?
[00:49:36] Celeste Holbrook: Like you have a cold, you’re taking an antihistamine, it dries up your mucous membranes in your nose. It’s going to dry up everywhere. It does. It doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t just target nasal mucous membrane. So I recommend for specifically for sex, not for like a, uh, vaginal lubricant, as far as like, not at like outside of sex, but for sex, I always recommend silicone lubricants actually.
[00:50:02] Celeste Holbrook: Because the silicone molecule is too large to be absorbed into the vaginal tissue, into the skin. And so it really just sits on top. Like it actually provides like a pillow layer in between your vaginal canal and a toy or penis or finger, whatever’s going in your vaginal canal. And then because it doesn’t absorb, it all flushes back out.
[00:50:21] Celeste Holbrook: So it’s not something that actually is. Absorbed into your skin at all versus, and I know we always like to say, I want to have the most natural thing. I think silicone lubricant is actually one of the best options because it doesn’t get into your system. Water based lubricants are great. And if you like water based lubricants.
[00:50:39] Celeste Holbrook: Go for it, but make sure you get a high quality one. The one that has a pH between 3. 5 and 4. 5, one that doesn’t have like glycerin listed as an ingredient. You just have to be a little more careful and there are higher and lower quality lubricants out there. So I love silicone lubricant for those reasons, water based lubricants, just.
[00:50:58] Celeste Holbrook: Be a little bit more particular if you’re going to use water based lubricants. A lot of people use coconut oil. It is not my favorite. You guys, I, you want to be like supernatural supernatural and use coconut oil. That’s great. But remember, most coconut oil, you’re like putting your fingers back into the same tub over and over.
[00:51:16] Celeste Holbrook: And that can grow bacteria. And you’re just so you’re just possibly putting bacteria up into your vaginal canal. So just be careful. So as far as lubricants, that’s what I recommend is the soul is actually a silicone lubricant because it will feel the most slippery and the best for you. Probably.
[00:51:32] Jenny Swisher: Good to know.
[00:51:32] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah.
[00:51:33] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. And if, and if you have like ones that you recommend often, feel free to send them over to me and I can put them in the show notes. I have a couple that I can link up for people as well. One is water based and one is silicone based. So, but if you have any that you recommend. What you can link that up to, but yeah, this has been such a great episode.
[00:51:49] Jenny Swisher: And I just think, you know, if you’re listening to this, you clicked on it and you knew what you’re getting into, right. That has sex in the title. Like you knew we were going here. We’ve had such a good conversation. We’ve come full circle. Really? We’ve talked about intimacy and we’ve talked about communicating with your significant other.
[00:52:02] Jenny Swisher: We’ve talked about libido. We’ve talked about. You know, sex toys. We’ve talked about so much stuff and I just think this is all stuff that needs to be talked about, right? Like this is, this is, I want to be able to, um, to open my Instagram and have it just be the norm, right. That we’re talking about sex, that we’re talking about period health, that we’re talking about all this stuff.
[00:52:20] Jenny Swisher: And I think it is on the rise. I think women are starting to say, you know what, enough. I’m, I’m not a small man, right? Like I’m not, I need to not be envisioned as just the smaller version of a man. Like I am a human and I am 50 percent of the population or whatever, you know, like I deserve equal attention and I deserve to hear this stuff.
[00:52:39] Jenny Swisher: I, I think you’re right. Like you said this at the very beginning, like a lot of times society depicts sex as being a male pleasure thing. Like women are supposed to pleasure the man. And I know that the majority of women listening to this. Can say that at some point in their most likely in their sexual experiences They felt that way that they were supposed to either look a certain way or perform a certain way Or it was supposed to feel a certain way and here’s the thing guys All of that can change and it’s up to you to change it.
[00:53:09] Jenny Swisher: Like you can listen to this and say, Ooh, I don’t know. Like, I don’t know about any of this. I’m maybe you’re super conservative and that’s fine, but you can also look at it and say, this is an area of development for me. This is an area of improving, right? It’s just like your personal development. It’s just like your health.
[00:53:23] Jenny Swisher: It takes intention. It takes. It takes the willingness to talk about it. It takes the willingness to admit that maybe things could become better if you worked on it. And so I love this. I love what you’re doing. I love what you stand for and your mission. I love seeing you on social media. I want you to make sure you point everybody to how they can find you on social media and elsewhere in case they want to hear more from you.
[00:53:44] Jenny Swisher: Um, but thank you so much for being here today. If you want to just direct us where we can find you.
[00:53:49] Celeste Holbrook: Yeah. Well, and, and back to you, Jenny, thank you so much for being willing to have these conversations. It makes, I think a bigger impact than you and I probably even know, or can think about, but to be able to listen to conversations about sex in your ear pods without, you know, having a big sex book out while you’re reading in the waiting room, podcasts, I think are the way to go as far as, um, getting great sex education out there.
[00:54:12] Celeste Holbrook: So you can find me at drcelesteholbrook. com. You can find me on Instagram at the same handle, drcelesteholbrook. Dr Celeste Holbrook, um, and on Facebook at the same handle, I would love to connect with you. I do offer discovery calls. If you just want to get on a call and see, you know, how I may be able to help or how I may be able to refer you to somebody who may be.
[00:54:34] Celeste Holbrook: I’m able to help you. I’d love to chat. I do offer one on one consults, couples, consults, speaking and workshops. So if you want to do get your girls together, we can do a girl’s night and you know, do some sex ed or whatever it is. If you, if you can think it, we can build it. So I’d love to chat.
[00:54:51] Jenny Swisher: Awesome.
[00:54:51] Jenny Swisher: We’ll make sure to link all that up in the show notes for you guys. So you can simply swipe up to get all that information. But thank you, Celeste, for being on the show today. I value our friendship and I know we’ll be doing stuff. I got to ask you back. Like we’re going to have to go deeper.
[00:55:03] Celeste Holbrook: Absolutely.
[00:55:04] Celeste Holbrook: We
[00:55:04] Jenny Swisher: might have to have just an episode on shower sex. Like let’s just debunk, I
[00:55:08] Celeste Holbrook: mean, come on, debunk
[00:55:11] Jenny Swisher: the awfulness. That is shower sex. Okay. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, my friend, for being here. And we’ll talk again soon. Thanks Jenny.
[00:55:26] Jenny Swisher: Thanks for listening to this episode of the Sync Your Life podcast. I hope you found value from today’s episode. If you did, please share it out to your friends or leave a review. Remember, your cycles are your superpower, and by aligning with them, you can live your life with all the energy you need to be a mom, wife, daughter, and friend to those you love.
[00:55:44] Jenny Swisher: Until next time!