You want me to tell you how I really feel? OK then. As if that were ever a problem. 😉
It just so happens, I did my senior thesis for my Communication major on the portrayal of women in the media. I researched the heck out of how what we see on television and in magazine influences our behavior; particularly the behavior of women. I suppose, looking back, that this was the first sign in my life that I was interested in not only human behavior, but the way women think and feel about themselves. This would eventually lead me to a career where I train and Coach women and am 100% fulfilled by helping them find their inner potential.
As a petite woman myself, and as a woman seemingly even shorter than what we deem “petite” in our society given my 6’4″ husband by my side, I’ve been exposed to it all.
When I went to college, I had my first encounter with eating disorders. I lived in a sorority house full of women of all shapes and sizes, and I distinctly remember attending my very first meeting where the President of our chapter talked candidly to 75 women that something had to be done about puking in the showers.
I remember looking at my freshman floor mate seated next to me and asking, “Huh? What is she talking about?” to which my friend replied, “I guess girls are puking in the shower. Like, they’re vomiting their food.”
Whoa.
Hello, reality.
I had grown up a small town girl and was fed meals of mostly meat, potatoes, and a vegetable. We ate what was put on the table, and we considered fast food a treat given that most fast food restaurants were 20+ minutes away. Our outlook on food entailed eating if you were hungry and not thinking much else of it. At least, that was my experience.
So imagine my surprise when told that girls living in our sorority house were vomiting their food, and later proceeding to move into that house the following year where I was surrounded by girls who ate ate salads for lunch and who talked about only two things: how they looked fat and boys.
All of this to say that as a female in this day and age, I’ve had my fair share of being surrounded by women of all body types and mentalities… those who hated the way they looked and those who loved the way they looked, almost too much. The ones who cloak themselves in baggy sweatshirts and those who wear the midriffs. I lived with girls who exercised a minimum of one hour per day in hopes of keeping fit, to the point where they were physically exhausted and wasting away.
Fast forward years later to my life working a sedentary job, where I was introduced to P90X and Shakeology as a means for proactive health. Not necessarily weight loss and definitely not dieting, but proactive health. This was an all-new concept to me, and it didn’t take long for me to realize it’s a foreign concept to many.
For most people, their view is that you’re either A) dieting and consuming less calories (all hail the low-carb diet!) in order to lose weight or B) you eat whatever you want because you can, thanks to your genes.
It wasn’t until I became exposed to this lifestyle of proactive health that I realized that both A and B are distorted views on the reality of what should be. The view should be that you’re either A) choosing to fuel yourself with healthy, whole foods and move your body in order to extend your life and the quality of it, or B) choosing to NOT do that and therefore accepting fate as it is handed to you, likely experiencing a lower quality of life in return.
Ouch. I know, it can sound harsh. But you said you wanted me to tell you how I really feel.
I’m blessed to call myself a self-confident woman, thanks to my parents for instilling that I was always smart enough to be the best at what I chose to do, and never emphasizing a perfect body type. I rarely remember my mother saying the word “fat” and as I listen to podcasts on the topic nowadays, I realize how important that is to young girls. It’s because of this that I never fell victim to my surroundings but, given my love for uncovering human behavior, was acutely aware of it all.
After 90 days of P90X, Shakeology (which, for the record, is NOT a diet drink or way of starving yourself but rather, quite the opposite), and clean eating, I started to feel amazing. I had high energy, less headaches, better focus, and yes, regularity. I decided that, even though my particular journey wasn’t one of overcoming obesity with a crazy physical transformation, it still felt good to me. It felt like I had worked hard to achieve health!
So naturally, as a Coach, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops and pay that forward, and my first step in doing so was in sharing my Before and After (I call it “Before and During”) photo. I didn’t need a pat on the back; I just wanted folks to see that even if you’re not overweight, we can all make improvements in our health.
Wanna know what the resounding response was to my posting of this image? DESPITE the fact that I focused solely on my improvement in self-confidence, headaches, energy, and regularity, never mentioning weight loss?
“You didn’t NEED to lose weight.”
Even some family members called to tell me, “Yeah I saw Susie at the grocery and she saw that photo you posted on Facebook. She said what I was thinking… ‘She doesn’t NEED to lose weight!'”
Yeah.
Imagine the hurt that creates. Deep down, I know it’s because the paradigm lens through which most of these people saw my journey was that of A) diet to lose weight or B) eat what you want because you can, so I didn’t let it affect me. But as I continually watch my Coaches… my amazing Team of people out paying it forward by sharing their journeys… I have to say, watching someone Comment and say, “You didn’t NEED to lose weight!” makes me want to pull my freaking hair out.
I digress, but only because it’s necessary:
Exercising is good for everyone, not just folks who are looking to lose weight.
Eating well is good for everyone, not just folks who are looking to lose weight. This includes drinking Shakeology.
The true issue is this:
Change your paradigm. Accept that there is a new option in town that doesn’t rely on 1970’s diet drinks or pills. I like to call it proactive health.
Because you know what? You’re right. I didn’t need to lose weight. Or maybe I did, but because I was still under the national average in regard to official overweight standards, it didn’t appear so. But did I need to feel better about myself? Yes. Feel better with my daily headache? Yes. Have more energy? Yes. Feed my body what it craves and runs best on? Yes. So please, don’t assume that your response to my journey is a compliment. It’s quite the opposite.
I can think of so many other things to say to someone who has made a commitment to proactive health.
“Wow, Jan, that’s incredible. You look so happy.”
“I bet you feel so much better!”
“Way to go!”
“You’ve worked hard. Yeah!”
Think about your words. Think about your paradigm. Recognize that the world would be a better place without the word “diet,” and that those of us out there exercising and eating well are doing so because it’s what we should do to live our best life.
To the women out there who struggle with an eating disorder, I know you’re beautiful.
To the women out there who struggle with overexercising, I know you’re strong.
To the women out there who are chasing diets and pills and temporary fads, I know you know better.
To the women out there who live in a society where sexuality and sensuality are King, BE YOU. That is the most beautiful thing you can be.
And to the women who are on their journeys but who struggle with pressing “Post” on that Before and After because you’re worried about what people might think, or what they might say to put you down in such hidden ways… May you do it with the utmost confidence that despite what someone comments given their paradigm, that YOU are an inspiration and the one leading the charge for a long life worth living.
Fist pump to all of you beautiful, strong women. Cheers to proactive health!
Jenny is a 6-Star Diamond Coach, founder of Team Body Electric, a Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist, Certified Personal Trainer, and owns a fitness studio in Fishers, Indiana. You can reach out to her directly via email at jennyswisher@gmail.com.