245-SYNCPodcast_EmilyYates

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[00:00:59] Jenny Swisher: Welcome friends to this episode of the Sync Your Life podcast. Today I’m sharing with you an excerpt from a recent Q& A live stream that I did with my college roommate, Emily Yates. Emily and I did this live stream into my Sync Facebook community for all of my course takers, because I believe that every woman needs to hear this message, and that’s exactly why I’m bringing it to you on the podcast.

[00:01:19] Jenny Swisher: She is a disordered eating recovery coach, really passionate about helping women unlearn diet culture. So that’s exactly what we dive into here on this Q and A. So without further ado, I’m going to hand you over to our interview with Emily Yates.

[00:01:32] Jenny Swisher: all right, you guys welcome to our monday night live stream I have my friend emily yates here with us tonight. We’re going to be talking about Food and body recovery. We’re going to be talking about helping women cultivate food freedom And helping you establish an uncomplicated relationship with food.

[00:01:47] Jenny Swisher: So let me just start though, by saying that Emily and I were college roommates. So, um, it’s just, I love, I’ve loved reconnecting with Emily. I just feel like we, it’s like, you know, we’re, we’re 40. She just turned 40. So happy birthday. Um, but I feel like we’ve reconnected after so long, but I feel like we can just pick right back up where we left off, which is awesome.

[00:02:05] Jenny Swisher: I love, I love that. So. You might hear us banter back and forth. There might be some, some jokes and whatnot, but I think you guys are going to love her. Emily is somebody who crossed my path. We were in the same sorority in college

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[00:02:18] Jenny Swisher: she was an athlete in college. And then senior year, we actually lived together in sort of like a, I don’t even know how to describe it, but it was such a cool

[00:02:24] Emily Yates: living situation.

[00:02:25] Jenny Swisher: It was a cool living situation, like a condo that we all shared together. Um, and so, but it’s been a long time since we’ve connected. And so just a couple of weeks ago. We were able to get on a zoom together and I just, I told her, I’m like, I love what you’re up to. And I think it could really benefit my community.

[00:02:42] Jenny Swisher: Um, and so we, we kind of reconnected and here I’m bringing her to you. Um, some of this interview will even be featured on the podcast as well, because I think this is just information that women need to hear. So without further ado, let me go ahead, Emily, and just say, you know, introduce yourself, tell my community, like who you are, what you do and how you got to doing what you’re doing.

[00:03:03] Emily Yates: Yeah, I know. I’m just so excited to be here. And yeah, so I got here way of my own healing journey. I, like you said, I was a collegiate athlete. I, um, was thick into CrossFit. I was an elite CrossFit athlete. And I know today we’re talking a lot about diet culture. I was thick into diet culture. I, not even really knowing what it was though, um, it was, Yeah, I was the epitome of the perfect health person.

[00:03:38] Emily Yates: I worked out constantly. I was Counting all my macros. I was just doing all the things. I was super lean super toned and yet I was so Tormented by thoughts about food and body. It just took over my life and took over It yeah, it just took over Took me over. And so I got to the point where I was like, I realized something needed to change that it wasn’t sustainable that I wasn’t myself anymore.

[00:04:09] Emily Yates: And so a big piece of my recovery was learning about diaculture. And what was this giant thing that was driving me and what was Why was I having these thoughts and having so much difficulty, um, around food and why was that relationship so complicated? And so, yeah, I went from a really dark place with food and body to a place where I feel so much gratitude for like where I am now.

[00:04:38] Emily Yates: And I, uh, I’m at a place now where I have this food freedom and I feel in control and I can be at peace and I can enjoy outings with friends and I can enjoy travel and I’m not in this kind of restricting indulge or restricting binge. Um, cycle and I just, I feel so much gratitude for having gone, gone through it, learned what I needed to learn and come out the other side with so much more joy in my life from leaving that world behind.

[00:05:11] Jenny Swisher: Yeah, yeah. I think all of us as women can relate to some level of like, I’ll say disordered eating, right? Whether it’s a diagnosable eating disorder or disordered eating in the realm of maybe body dysmorphia or just struggling with confidence, you know, or, um, I don’t know. I think every woman has has certain things that she wishes were different when it came to her body, right?

[00:05:33] Jenny Swisher: Um, since I started doing health consults with women like this, this comes up on a daily basis, right? It’s very rarely am I getting a woman who says, Hey, um, can you look at my dutch test? I my energy is really off lately Usually i’m doing everything to lose the weight, right? I can’t get rid of the belly fat like we’re hung up on body image So we’re going to talk tonight you guys about just this Unlearning diet culture.

[00:05:57] Jenny Swisher: This is not a new topic for for the women in my my community because they hear me talk about this all the time, but Hearing it from you, um and getting a different perspective is going to be great So let’s kind of start there with just this idea of What is diet culture teaching us as women? Um, and how does that impact us with both our mental and physical health?

[00:06:17] Emily Yates: Yeah, and if I, I, I feel like I get so passionate about this, Jenny, so if I ever derail and you need to pull me back on topic, You start spitting. We’ll just, yeah, we’ll just wipe our screen for you. Okay, thank you. Um, yeah, I mean for, I think the easiest way to understand diet culture is it’s this obsessiveness with the thin ideal, Um, that so much worth is put on our bodies.

[00:06:44] Emily Yates: This idea, too, that it really demonizes food, like disconnecting us from our true desires, our true likes, our own hunger and fullness, this just total disconnection with body, and leaving us with such a lack of satisfaction because we’re always striving for something that really is kind of unattainable, um, and so It’s this, this striving for something that has been pictured and created that is unrealistic to me is really what it is.

[00:07:20] Jenny Swisher: Yeah, I think a lot of women. So, so I’ve worked sort of in the like home fitness space, you know, for over a decade and I think, um, I mean, certainly like my, So I grew up in this small town, like small town, Indiana, you know, farm girl. And I was sort of like the, the, I don’t know what the word, I almost said goody two shoes, which is a terrible way to label myself, but that was me in high school, as far as like, I was like the, you know, a student, like, you know, president of my class, like all that kind of stuff.

[00:07:47] Jenny Swisher: And, I had blinders on when it came to like, I mean, I was very dedicated in the sports that I played and I was just very focused on school as nerdy as that sounds. And then when I got to college, I started to really sort of broaden my horizons to this world of like, Oh, like, there are a lot of women, girls and women who really, really, really care about what they think.

[00:08:07] Jenny Swisher: Um, About themselves, right? Like, they’re really, like, so that was sort of my first exposure to that, really. And then moving forward and having worked in, you know, health coaching, virtual online coaching, and working with women, even in the personal training space, I started to really see sort of like this flip side to, um, Um, I guess what we’re calling diet culture, right?

[00:08:28] Jenny Swisher: And it can be anywhere from body dysmorphia, not loving your body to also just this idea of under fueling and over training that affects so many of us. And I raised my hand with that, like myself included, especially during the years when I was owning my gym. I look back now and I’m like, I don’t even know how I did that.

[00:08:46] Jenny Swisher: Like, um, You know, I was up at 5 a. m. teaching bootcamp classes and I would come home. I would drink all the coffee to stay awake, which was obviously not the healthiest choice. Um, definitely was not eating enough for my activity level. I would even try to get in my own workout in the afternoon, walk the dog and go back and teach training classes in the evening.

[00:09:04] Jenny Swisher: And I thought, This is what fitness professionals do like, this is, this is just part of what I do. And of course, at that time, before my adrenals ever burn out, I felt good doing it. You know, I was like, I I’ve got these endorphins like, and then that can really mess with you too. So for me, it was a matter of falling in love with exercise to the nth degree, and also not realizing that I wasn’t feeling enough because I was sort of falling victim to diet cultures, mentality of reducing carbs and not eating, don’t eat too much.

[00:09:35] Jenny Swisher: Right. I started to actually have health ramifications myself. Um, first it happened in the form of like hypoglycemic episodes that would happen to me in the morning where I would wake up in the morning and I thought something like I would literally be just like a straight panic attack. And I never equated it to under fueling, you know, I was like, what’s wrong with my hormones or why am I having anxiety attacks or like I never made that connection to food until I started to realize and obviously started to kind of pigeonhole myself into hormone health and learning more stuff.

[00:10:05] Jenny Swisher: I was like, wait a minute. I think this has to do with not eating enough. Right. It’s as simple as not eating enough. So there’s so many things that I want to touch on, including I’m making some notes for myself. Just this, you mentioned hunger and fullness and, and being in tune with that. Right. I see that now with my daughters, like I’m trying to teach them, like, are you hungry?

[00:10:21] Jenny Swisher: Are you not? Are you full? Are you not? But these are things that I know, and I’m not trying to throw my mom under the bus. I love her dearly, but I grew up in a household where it was like. You know, I’m too fat or look at this jiggle on my arms or mom’s not eating dinner tonight. I’m trying to lose weight.

[00:10:38] Jenny Swisher: Like that was the environment that I grew up in. And I think that that is a huge part of the diet culture that so many of us sort of grew up in. So. Yeah. You said like obsessiveness of this sort of thin ideal, which I think is a great, um, a great analogy. And those of us, I think most of us in this group are really into fitness.

[00:10:56] Jenny Swisher: And so for us, the thin ideal is we think it’s strong. It’s, it’s healthy. Right. But then there are times where it can be taken sort of a little too far. So let’s talk about sort of the first step, which is awareness. So I want to ask you like, You know, for you personally, like when did you, you mentioned it briefly, but like when did you start to really feel like, okay, wait a minute, like, I need to take, to take a step back here ’cause either something’s falling apart or I’m not feeling myself or something.

[00:11:23] Jenny Swisher: What was the awareness point for you?

[00:11:25] Emily Yates: Yeah, I mean, I, I would, and, and I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I pretty much. Hit all of them. Um, anorexia, binging and purging, over exercising. Um, and I was aware enough to be like, you know, I can’t tell you how many journal entries I wrote of like, I will not binge tomorrow.

[00:11:49] Emily Yates: I will not binge. I will, I will stick to my meal plan tomorrow. Um, not realizing that the restriction was causing the binges, right? That like the more rules I put on. Was actually like the more I swung this way on the pendulum biologically and physically I had to refuel. I was working out so much and eating so little.

[00:12:14] Emily Yates: I was going to have to go to this side of it and and make up for that loss energy. And so. Those episodes though were really scary. And so I knew that that needed to be fixed. And I also realized I wasn’t performing. Like I looked back at what I could do in the gym two years prior, three years prior, and I was like, I’m not getting better.

[00:12:36] Emily Yates: And I’m working out four hours a day. Like, I mean, it was nuts and I, I shouldn’t put. Times on it, but I was working out an obscene amount and I could tell I wasn’t getting better. And I never, I wish I knew that somebody like you existed as far as like hormone health. And I remember being like, something’s wrong.

[00:12:54] Emily Yates: Like this is not right. Um, I had to fully step out and like, let my whole body and mind recover from it. But I think those were the two of just like, how many times am I going to tell myself tomorrow’s the day tomorrow’s the day that I’m going to. Have a normal relationship with food. Um, yeah. So I think that was my, my

[00:13:18] Jenny Swisher: big one.

[00:13:19] Jenny Swisher: Just a kind of a breaking point where you’re like, you hear yourself enough that you’re like, okay, I’ve heard myself enough say this

[00:13:25] Emily Yates: and like, I can’t do it. Like something isn’t right. Like, and I knew deep down, like it wasn’t me. Like it wasn’t that I didn’t have willpower, like. What I could do in the gym and what I dedicated to food.

[00:13:38] Emily Yates: I knew I had the willpower, but I didn’t realize that the diet that I was doing that the counting and the restriction and the limited was really actually setting me up for failure. So,

[00:13:50] Jenny Swisher: yeah, I like what you said there about like, of course my, my body’s biological needs are to eat, right? Like if I’m restricting it’s, I’m going to binge because that’s what my body needs.

[00:14:00] Jenny Swisher: Um, that makes sense. I mean, I think, Gosh, there’s so many, so many things that I want to say. The first thing I’ll say is I really think, you know, I see this often with, um, With women through consults or just through conversations where in their mind, um, and this is in my mind is another definition of diet culture and their mind, um, fitness, right?

[00:14:24] Jenny Swisher: Like six pack abs or the, the strong arms or the lean body, you know, you mentioned obsessiveness over the thin ideal. This becomes the definition of health to them. So it’s like, well, this is healthy, so that’s why I work out and I don’t miss a day and I follow the calendar and I follow my macros and, you know, It’s almost like in your mind, you’ve almost told yourself that this is healthy, right?

[00:14:45] Jenny Swisher: Like you’ve you’ve trained yourself to think that this is healthy when in reality, like I’m able to tell you guys on my end of things now, looking at things as a practitioner, sometimes your metabolic health is completely, or can be completely disrupted, right? So when I’m looking at a woman’s Dutch results or, you know, her lab work, and I’m working alongside Dr.

[00:15:04] Jenny Swisher: Page with this, um, We have seen this firsthand where we’re like, wait a minute. Like your, your blood sugar is crazy. You know, you’re, you’re it’s, there’s so many things going wrong here. Now we’re affecting your menstrual cycle and now we’re affecting so many different things in your endocrine system. And it’s kind of like, uh, you know, you’ve heard people talk about biological age, right?

[00:15:25] Jenny Swisher: Like that’s like sort of a new thing. Now you can have like your bio, your, your age tested, like how old are you? Really? Right. From an internal health perspective. Women who are kind of going to the extreme to reach those ideals are the ones who have this, they’re going to be the ones who age faster because their metabolic health.

[00:15:42] Jenny Swisher: It’s declining. So I, I really like to reframe it in the sense of, uh, instead of looking at six pack abs, let’s look at energy. And instead of looking at, um, you know, these ideals that we have in our mind, let’s look at longevity, right? Like let’s, let’s do it for the old lady body. Like if we know the number one reason that, you know, men and women are going into nursing homes is because of a lack of mobility, a lack of being able to get up and down off the floor.

[00:16:09] Jenny Swisher: Let’s exercise for those reasons. Right. And if, if you wake up on a day where. You feel like today was an 80 degree to get an 80 degree day in Indiana. And if anybody knows me, they know I despise running. Like I married a runner, but like, I went for a run today. It just, it felt like the right thing to do.

[00:16:25] Jenny Swisher: I wanted to get outside and I’m not going to beat myself up over like that. I didn’t do some sort of other workout or whatever, you know? So I think there, you know, there’s so much to say here, but I think that that’s a good way of thinking about it. Like, think about your health in terms of energy and longevity and Also, that allows you to have some more awareness like Emily had of.

[00:16:44] Jenny Swisher: You know, where do I need to kind of step away or where do I need to sort of reframe? So when we’re unlearning diet culture, we talked about self awareness, but like, what are the first things that we need to do to like, really let go of that guilt and shame around our food?

[00:17:00] Emily Yates: Yeah. And that’s a big one. I think, you know, when I talk to my clients about embracing food freedom and letting go of some of these restrictions, you know, there’s usually a lot of skepticism, you know, cause they’ve been living in diet culture for so long.

[00:17:16] Emily Yates: And, you know, I hear a lot of like, well, um, if I stop eating, I won’t be able to stop, or, you know, I’m going to be out of control. If I tell myself I can have whatever I want to eat, or if I’m really honoring what I want. And, you know, again, I think that’s. Where really truly understanding diet culture plays its part is saying like the more I restrict it, the more charge it has, the more I want it, right?

[00:17:45] Emily Yates: Like the, um, there’s an actual thing, right? And it’s called habituation, right? And we’ve all seen it with our kiddos. Like your kid gets a new toy and it’s everything to them, right? Like. Pam gets a new toy and he plays with it non stop and it goes on every car ride and he wants to take it to school.

[00:18:05] Emily Yates: After two days, he’s like, I’m over it. You know, and it’s like, I’m like, why did we even buy it? But it’s like, it’s the same with food where once I allow myself to have these things, I’m not obsessed with it. But the more I restricted and the more I tell myself, no, that’s when those things have charge. And that’s when we’re going to be on that deprivation Indulge or deprivation lose control pendulum.

[00:18:29] Emily Yates: And so that’s really where I start with my clients is just being like, understand that the more you encounter these things, the more you allow, the more you say that this is okay. And my body needs it. And this is me honoring my needs. Like that’s the first step to releasing the guilt and shame. Like that’s just saying, okay, I, I can do this and I can control and it will be okay.

[00:18:52] Emily Yates: Does that make sense?

[00:18:53] Jenny Swisher: Yeah, it absolutely makes sense. And I mean, I think back to even just college. I remember so many times like sitting in, you know, different environments where other women would say to me, like, man, you must have a big appetite. And I didn’t really know how to take it in the moment.

[00:19:09] Jenny Swisher: Right. And then now I think about it and I, it’s funny because my response now, if someone says that is, yep. Sure do. I also have a high activity level. You know what I mean? Like, um, but at the time, you know, these are the things that we hear. Like, we hear so many things as women. Um, I’m sure if you’re, if you’re watching this live, I know we’ve got some people on live.

[00:19:28] Jenny Swisher: I’d love for you to comment, put it in quotations. Like, what are some things that you have heard, whether it’s, you know, From the household you grew up in from, from your friends. Like, I mean, I want to know this too, because I’m raising two daughters and you know, it’s been really important to me, um, to make sure that I’m framing the narrative as much as I can.

[00:19:48] Jenny Swisher: I mean, I can’t control everything. Right. But I can control like what type of language is allowed in our house. And the different things that we, that we do in our household. Now, I’m not saying by any means that like. That this is going perfectly. I’m trying to talk my seven year old into the fact she does not need a skincare routine, so he can help me with that.

[00:20:06] Jenny Swisher: That’d be great. Um, but from a really, these, these are just some things that I want to share. Like from a really young age, I remember having the conversation with myself of. Okay. Ellery at first, you know, she was my oldest. I’m like, how am I going to approach this? Because she’s a girl, right? So from, and I know this, like from a very young age, she’s going to be faced with different, different things.

[00:20:27] Jenny Swisher: I mean, she’s been around family members who have mentioned how fat they are or, or whatever. Right. So she’s, she’s hearing this from a young age. And so a couple of things that I want to share here. One is, um, Okay. We presented our, so I, I owned a scale. I don’t own one anymore, but we owned a scale in our bathroom.

[00:20:46] Jenny Swisher: Um, especially back in my home fitness days, right? The whole before and after thing was a big deal. So I used to like weigh myself before and after and take all the measurements and all the things. And so we had a scale when she was really little and, um, she would stand on it, you know, just she’d look at the numbers.

[00:21:01] Jenny Swisher: And so I remember in those moments, like there are moments as a parent where you’re like, what am I going to say? Um, and so I remember when she stepped on the scale, like as a two or three year old and she was like, mommy, two, four, whatever, you know, whatever it said. And I said, Oh my gosh, that’s how strong you are.

[00:21:19] Jenny Swisher: And, um, and she was like, yeah, you know, and then like flex the muscles. She’s now seven and a half. We no longer own the scale. We haven’t had the scale for like at least three years. Sutton’s three. My youngest is three and just recently Sutton had a physical, a checkup at the doctor and my oldest, we were all went as a family.

[00:21:37] Jenny Swisher: And so we were there and they asked Sutton to stand up on a scale and she, she looked at them much like my dog does when they asked for it at the vet. Like, he’s like, you want me to go where, what is it?

[00:21:47] Um,

[00:21:48] Jenny Swisher: and so. But she walked up on the scale and it was almost the exact same reaction. She was like, mommy, like 229 or whatever the numbers were.

[00:21:57] Jenny Swisher: And my oldest walked over and goes, Sutton, that’s how strong you are. And it was such a cool moment for me because I was like, I know as Ellery gets older, like, you know, things are going to shift and change. But I was like, at least for this moment, like, I feel like that was the right call. Right. The other thing that I’ll say too, is, uh, we had a Halloween experience when Ellery was really young.

[00:22:19] Jenny Swisher: Where, uh, I, gosh, I feel like I’m throwing my mom under the bus. I’m glad she’s not in this group. Um, no, she would be, she would laugh, but anyways, she, we had our parents here. Right. So all the grandparents were here. Would they come over for trick or treating? And, um, my mom was making a comment. She said something about Ellery or so you’re so skinny.

[00:22:38] Jenny Swisher: She said something about like, you’re so skinny or something like that. And Chris’s dad started chiming in and next thing, you know, like grandparents are like so skinny. So, and I, and I said, uh, uh, like I kept making these gestures. Yeah, we don’t do that. And my mom was like, what she is. And she goes, okay, thin, like she changed it to thin.

[00:22:56] Jenny Swisher: And I said, no, I said, we don’t use those words in our house. And, um, I remember Chris’s dad looked at me like, like what words, you know, and I was like, I was like picking, I go try again. Yeah. And my mom goes, skinny, thin. I go try again. And she finally, she’s like strong. And I was like, good one. Let’s go with that.

[00:23:18] Jenny Swisher: Right. But it’s just, it’s, it’s hard because I feel like, you know, it’s not just a generational thing. Like this is something that we’re, we are all doing this in different ways. I always like to say like. You as a, as a parent, regardless of whether you have girls or boys or whatever, like the whole point is you’re looking, if you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and you’re picking yourself apart, they’re right behind you watching you do that.

[00:23:40] Jenny Swisher: And that’s a learn, that can become a learned behavior too. So I just wanted to, I always like to talk to you about just the parenting side of things, because again, this is not meant to be like, Oh, look at me, like, look what’s going well. Cause like I said, I’m trying to fight my oldest aura at the moment.

[00:23:54] Jenny Swisher: Um, but, um, I just think that these are things that we, we make choices. We make choices about how we want to share those things. And if there’s nothing more than, I mean, I can say this, nothing will teach you more about yourself and the way you think about yourself than when you watch your child emulate what you do.

[00:24:12] And

[00:24:12] Jenny Swisher: when I see my, my kid, like, recently, it was a curse word, right? And I’m like, okay. And you’re like, yeah. And you’re like, we were talking about this on our call. Like, did you hear that? I don’t want to hear that answer. Right. Like, but the same thing is true when it comes to our body image too. So I don’t want to go down too much of a rabbit hole, but I wanted to share that.

[00:24:31] Jenny Swisher: So let’s talk more about, you know, um, Because I know, you know, in college you were into kinesiology and, and like physical health and that’s sort of been in your background. So I’d love for you to tell us more about sort of like, You know why we do like if if we purge or if we restrict you mentioned week our pendulum can swing in the opposite direction.

[00:24:48] Jenny Swisher: It can kind of go toward the, you know, the binging side of things. So tell us more about that from maybe a more biological perspective or how you think about it.

[00:24:56] Emily Yates: Yeah, I mean, it’s again, it’s kind of like that biological need, right? There’s a reason that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs food is like at the base of it, right?

[00:25:06] Emily Yates: We need this. And so. Um, there’s this thing called the dieting dilemma or, you know, the diet culture cycle, and it starts with wanting to be thinner, right? Then we go to, okay, gonna hop on this diet. We usually feel pretty good, like, all right, I’m, I’m doing my thing. I’m, maybe I’m seeing some results, but again, that restriction, we can only.

[00:25:34] Emily Yates: be in that window for so long before our biological, our cravings, our desires start to kick in, we fall off of it, um, we usually then feel a lot of guilt and shame, what’s wrong with me, I can’t do it right, Um, then we typically gain the weight back and then we’re back wanting to lose the weight, right? So we’re always in, in this cycle.

[00:26:01] Emily Yates: Um, again, until we leave diet culture. And I think one of the biggest, this was super eye opening for me recently, you know, Denver’s a very big dog place. Everybody has dogs. And. You know, when I talk to my clients and they’re like, well, I had a, I had a really big dinner, so I feel like I shouldn’t eat breakfast.

[00:26:22] Emily Yates: And I’m like, would you do that to your dog? And like, or would you do that to your kid? Do you know what I mean? And so like, or um, you know, being able, I think, so it’s a great way to step back and be like, how am I treating myself? Like, is this actually what I wanna be doing? Or would I wanna be showing my kids?

[00:26:40] Emily Yates: Or would I be doing this to my kiddo? Like, you know, would you be like, no. Kiddo, you need to walk two miles before you eat breakfast or puppy. You would never do that, right? And so it’s like we’re treating our dogs with more compassion and more respect than we do ourselves when we’re always striving for that weight loss or that diet culture or that, that beauty standard.

[00:27:05] Emily Yates: And so I think that’s a really good way of like, would I do this with my kid or would I do this with my dog? Likely the answer is no, you know,

[00:27:14] Jenny Swisher: it’s so true. Yeah. I love that analogy. Um, I want to ask this question and it’s, I think it’s, I’m thinking about it as I’m asking it. So I’m going to ask you first.

[00:27:25] Jenny Swisher: So if we, we all kind of are aware, I think, um, to some degree, what diet culture is and means to us, right? I mean, there’s people commenting here, um, when I asked about, you know, comment with, um, With what you’ve heard, um, in your lifetime, like you’re just big boned, um, I was 5’10 and 6th grade was so hard to feel like a giant amongst my tiny friends, right?

[00:27:46] Jenny Swisher: Like, so there’s, we, we all know what it’s, what it’s like to be part of diet culture. So let me ask this sort of visionary question. What would it look like? Or what, maybe it should say, what should it look like? Um, what should food culture, I guess is a better word instead of diet culture. What should food and healthy relationship with food culture?

[00:28:07] Jenny Swisher: What would that look like to you?

[00:28:09] Emily Yates: Gosh, that’s a great question. I mean, one is having respect for all bodies. Like, you know, nobody is trying, you know, if I were a size, of an eight, I’m not like, gosh, darn it. I need to work my foot into a six. Like, I don’t do that to myself. And like, genetically my body is predisposed to be a certain way.

[00:28:32] Emily Yates: And like, yes, I can, I can do things that will honor it and help it. Help it be healthy, but to a certain extent, I’m going to lose myself if I’m trying to fit into a different body, the same way, like that’s not possible. I can’t work my way into a size six shoe. So I think that’s a big one is like honoring that there’s space for all bodies.

[00:28:56] Emily Yates: Like I could eat the same exact way as you, Jenny, and we would still have different bodies, right. Or be on the same exercise plan. So just honoring that, that like, okay. We all have different bodies and these are the bodies we were given and we should take care of them and we should respect them but like also respect the fact that these are what what they are.

[00:29:17] Emily Yates: I think as far as the food piece, I think diet culture really demonizes enjoying food. You know, having food is connection. Food is love. You know, how many times have we had a beautiful moment that it was over a meal? And then yet, diet culture makes us feel guilty for sharing those moments. And I think that just does, again, it disconnects us from our life.

[00:29:44] Emily Yates: It disconnects us from ourselves, from our soul self. And like, again, a big part of my recovery was realizing like, I was not put on this earth. To think only about my body and try to like spend all my energy on controlling my body. I was put on this earth for so much more. And so just allowing food to be what it is, it’s food.

[00:30:09] Emily Yates: Not to have to overthink it. Not to have every thought strategizing, well I ate this so I shouldn’t eat that and I ate this for breakfast so this should be my dinner. Like, allowing food to be flexible and nourishing and looking at nutrition gently. Like, you know, I think diet culture, we look at it as like.

[00:30:27] Emily Yates: You know, every meal is win or a loss. Every meal is an opportunity to gain or to lose, to change our body or gain weight, right? It’s like really punitive. Nutrition should be gentle. Like it should be looked at over a week, a month, right? And that’s something our kiddos do naturally. Like my kiddo will eat 10 bananas in a day, which always frightens me, but then he won’t eat a banana for two months.

[00:30:52] Emily Yates: And I’m like, well, We got him.

[00:30:55] Yeah. He

[00:30:56] Emily Yates: liked them that one day. Yeah. Yeah. And so, like, just looking at nutrition gently and just allowing food to be flexible and free. And again, that’s a part of this intuitive piece that when folks actually eat intuitively and have food freedom, we actually eat more variety and more healthfully, than when we’re in this, like, diet culture cycle.

[00:31:21] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. One thing that I, I mean, one thing that I think, and that I try to frame for myself too, um, and my daughters is that food is fuel, right? And it doesn’t mean that it’s, it can’t also be enjoyed because that’s totally part of it as well. But I also, you know, just actually just tonight at dinner, um, My youngest has, has learned the word fat.

[00:31:38] Jenny Swisher: So all of a sudden tonight, she said something about, she thinks it’s funny, something about a fat butt and she got the giggles.

[00:31:44] Emily Yates: Okay.

[00:31:45] Jenny Swisher: And so I said tonight, I said, what do you mean Sutton? I said, um, we, people aren’t fat. We eat fat. And she, and I, I always used to say that with Ellery too. And, and she was like, huh?

[00:31:56] Jenny Swisher: And I said, yeah, I go, people aren’t fat. We eat fat. Both of my girls looked at me like, huh? So I, we don’t eat dairy in my house, so I didn’t have any dairy to pull out, but I went to the fridge and I grabbed an avocado. I grabbed a stick of grass fed butter. And I was like, these are fat. And they looked at me like, what?

[00:32:13] Jenny Swisher: Like, you know, cause it’s totally different, but it’s like, let’s reframe like how we’re thinking about this. Right. And I love what you said about like honoring all body types. Um, You know, I think it doesn’t matter whether, you know, you’re somebody who was extremely tall. I was extremely short, right? Like we both get , the brunt of, of diet culture in different ways, right?

[00:32:33] Jenny Swisher: Like, oh, Jenny, you have such an appetite for such a small person, right? Or you’re big boned or whatever. It’s like, so what’s. What’s right then? Like if tall is not right and short’s not right, like you were saying, that, you know, so, I mean, there’s so many different things, um, here and there’s so much to unpack that we certainly don’t have time to unpack all of it.

[00:32:49] Jenny Swisher: But I think thinking of food as fuel, especially for those of us here in this group, who a lot of us have been in that environment of restricting our portion sizes or, um, our calories and, you know, dialing in the macros. And, you know, I just, you know, I hear this every day from women. Well, I know I just need to dial it in.

[00:33:07] Jenny Swisher: Right. And it’s like, How much of your, of your life are you spending, like, wasting thoughts on dialing it in, right? Like, let’s keep it really simple, like, in, in my program, I teach prioritizing protein, getting enough vegetables in your day, and fiber, um, and making sure that you’re eating the healthy fats for your hormone health, right?

[00:33:27] Jenny Swisher: And it really can be that simple. And I think when we get too minute is when we can get really, like, women who are saying, like, Oh, Jenny, you look great. What are you following? You know, or, or what, what, what exercises are you doing or what macros are you following? What difference does it make? Because we’re two totally different people with two totally different endocrine systems and hormone imbalances and tendencies and everything else, like we’re, we’re completely individual and health is individual.

[00:33:50] Jenny Swisher: So, okay. So I want to talk about healing, right? We’ve, we’ve kind of addressed like what this looks like and feels like, but what does it look like to kind of get started on a healing journey with us? Cause again, all spectrum related.

[00:34:04] Emily Yates: Yeah, I mean, one I think is again, like understanding what is diet culture, how has it impacted you, um, how has it been a disservice to, to you, um, and then going through, you know, this is something that I do with my clients is going through kind of like what are their food rules.

[00:34:26] Emily Yates: What are the things that, that they say and food rules can be anything. And like diet culture has given us so many of them when we should eat, how much we should eat, what should be paired with what, right? Like we come to every meal with this food police, just barking at us. And so beginning to understand like, What are those rules?

[00:34:45] Emily Yates: And like, what do we want to change? Um, and then really lining up with our values. So are these things getting in the way? And that was a big piece of my recovery was like, you know, I would be out to eat. Really enjoying company. And all of a sudden I would feel the food police be like, you shouldn’t finish this meal.

[00:35:04] Emily Yates: This is too much. You’re eating out, eating out’s bad. Right. All those things. And I’d be like, stop. Like my value is connection with humans and enjoying company and love and laughter. And this food police is taking away from my values. And so really beginning to have an understanding of like, Where are my values and how are these food rules not allowing me to live life in line with those values is a biggie.

[00:35:34] Jenny Swisher: Yeah, so good. Like, how can we find joy, um, in our food and, and you even say like in our movement too, right? I see this maybe because I come from a fitness background. I see so much, I see so many women lose the joy of exercise over feeling like they have to burn a certain level of calories or, you know, they can, I’m not sweating, right.

[00:35:55] Jenny Swisher: I’m not sweating enough. Oh yeah. That’s huge. Um, I didn’t hit zone three, right. I need the zone three, um, my heart rate monitor. Like, no, you don’t actually burn out your adrenals. But, you know, all these different or I can’t, you know, I’m going to have pizza with the family tonight. So I’ve got to burn extra today or I’m going to go for the extra, like you said, the extra walk.

[00:36:13] Jenny Swisher: And it takes everything I have to not be like, let me help because, um, I just think that. Again, it’s not a matter of, like, and you guys have heard me say this, like, it’s not a matter of calories in, calories out for women anyways. So, even if, I mean, I don’t want to say that that’s warranted for a man, because it’s still not, because it’s still diet culture.

[00:36:33] Jenny Swisher: But at least with the male, with the male physiology, there’s a little more science behind calories in, calories out. They have a sustained level of hormones, things aren’t shifting, there’s no menstrual cycle, endocrine system is a lot less complicated, so to speak. With a woman, it’s, it’s not as simple as calories in calories out.

[00:36:48] Jenny Swisher: We have to take a look at hormone imbalances. We have to take a look at. Just like I said earlier, metabolic health. Um, and so it’s just not even reasonable. Like if you find yourself in that trap of like, well, I didn’t, I didn’t sweat. Did I sweat enough? Or do I need to do extra? Do I need to double my workout today?

[00:37:04] Jenny Swisher: Do I need an extra walk? Like if you find yourself thinking those things, my encouragement to you would be now you’ve, you’ve heard me mention this, you’ve heard Emily mentioned this. Like, let that be your first light bulb of awareness of saying like, Is it, is that something I value, right? Like, is that something that I truly value or, or like you said, that’s a great example of, no, I actually value friendship and connection more.

[00:37:25] Jenny Swisher: And I’m going to finish this plate of food because I’m here with my friends and I’m enjoying the moment and I’m not going to let this voice ruin that, that evening for me. Um, I like that. So, okay. So let’s talk as we wrap it up, cause I don’t want to take up all of your time, but I want to make sure we get through some of this and then point people in your direction too.

[00:37:43] Jenny Swisher: So let’s talk about like where you are now. I know at the very beginning, when you were sharing your story, like just how much more you said, food freedom that you feel, um, tell us more about that. You know, you’ve, you’ve kind of taken us along your journey, but what does that feel like now?

[00:37:58] Emily Yates: Yeah, it like gives me the chills.

[00:38:00] Emily Yates: Even you kind of saying it. I, uh, I have just so much more freedom to enjoy my life. Like I think that’s probably the biggest one is like, you know, I think back to traveling. I did. And I was so anxious, like leading up to the trip and even on the trip and what am I going to eat and how am I going to get my workouts in and all of this?

[00:38:19] Emily Yates: And I’m like, Oh my gosh, I was in France and I was preoccupied with food and body, you know, like it’s, there’s, um, a gal, Christie Harrison, and she talks about diet culture being the life thief. And it really is like, it steals your such beautiful life moments. And so I think as far as where I am now, I can really enjoy my life.

[00:38:43] Emily Yates: And, you know, I don’t want, I think sometimes people diet culture, especially takes, you know, intuitive eating and twists it and is like, well, you don’t care about your health. I care immensely about my health and I’m so much more mentally, my overall wellbeing is so much better now. Um, you know, they say stress is such a big predictor of chronic illnesses down the road.

[00:39:10] Emily Yates: I was living in a constant state of stress, worrying about how I was going to hit my macros and where I was going to get my food from and was it going to be okay and how was it going to change my, like so much stress. And now I just, I’m so much more in tuned with my true desires, with my true self, like just so much more peace and joy.

[00:39:31] Emily Yates: So. Yeah,

[00:39:34] Jenny Swisher: so good. Well, I interviewed a woman and her name is escaping my brain right now. I interviewed a woman on my podcast. Um, we talked about very similar concepts and her story as well. And she’s a very like faith based person. And she talked about how for her, she needed to constantly Sort of remind herself on a daily basis.

[00:39:54] Jenny Swisher: It kind of reminded me of when you were talking about journaling and you were journaling, like tomorrow will be different, right? Like tomorrow I won’t do with these behaviors. She said she found herself in those habits too. And so what she started to do is she started to do almost like a self assessment every day of like, what is true, like what is actually true versus what I’m telling myself.

[00:40:14] Jenny Swisher: You know, and that’s hard because of course your little voice in your head can also be kind of misleading you there, but in her, in her regard, and I know this isn’t for everybody, but for her being such a faith based person, I remember her saying this on the podcast that to her it was, well, what does God say about me?

[00:40:30] Jenny Swisher: You know, God tells me that I’m enough. He tells me that I’m, um, enough just as I am. And I was created in his image. And so she said that became for her like at morning affirmations and just repeating that to herself on a daily basis. Helped her to kind of gauge that awareness level of like, where is my little voice creeping in?

[00:40:49] Like,

[00:40:49] Jenny Swisher: where is Roberta showing up that she needs to just. GTFO and where, where do I need to listen to the reality? And I thought that was great advice too. And I also want to tap on, tap into something that you said too, about cortisol, um, about stress. So, uh, these ladies are like, oh gosh, here goes Jenny again with the cortisol thing, but it’s so true.

[00:41:10] Jenny Swisher: Right. And Dr. Paige and I find ourselves mentioning this on, on almost every consult that if we are not paying attention to our nervous system, right. If we’re not. Keeping ourselves in that sort of rest and digest calm state, and we’re in a constant state of fight or flight, regardless of what that is, right?

[00:41:28] Jenny Swisher: Emily just gave the example of obsessing over your food, right? Sitting down at a meal and all you’re thinking about is, am I eating too much pasta or whatever it is, you know? Like, if that’s in your mind, the subconscious that’s being translated to your body is, I’m not safe. That’s, so regardless of what that stressor is.

[00:41:48] Jenny Swisher: Right? Regardless of what it is, you having those, that type of self talk is actually translating to your body as freak out, freak out, freak out, I’m not safe. So when our body is in that state, that’s exactly when our body is going to hold on to the weight when our body is going to deplete and energy when our body is going to feel tired and brain fog and all the things because we’re literally stressing ourselves into it.

[00:42:14] Jenny Swisher: Right. And so one big thing for me, and this is like, so minor, but it’s taken me so long to figure out is. I’m a very type A, like go, go, go. I’m an achiever. Um, I have to make myself slow down. I was doing probably two meals a day standing, um, for the longest time. Like I would stand at the counter and eat my lunch or eat dinner, you know, and help make sure the girls were eating dinner.

[00:42:37] Jenny Swisher: And then I would go back and forth through the kitchen and just kind of eat on the go. And thanks to Dr. Page, I’m like, no, I deserve this moment to sit down, even if my food is now cold, because I, you know, I bet everybody else first, like, I deserve this moment to sit down, like to take some breaths, to show my body that it is safe.

[00:42:59] Jenny Swisher: And that it requires this fuel, right? I always think back to like, what does our body require? It requires this fuel. And to do that in such a calm rest and digest state is completely different than sort of the on the go plus the negative self talk throw in all the things we’re just naturally raising our cortisol.

[00:43:15] Jenny Swisher: And then how many of us are also then walking into our doctor’s office being like, I don’t know what’s wrong with my body, but it’s just, it’s not responding to me anymore. Right. Well, the answer is. You’re kind of ignoring it. You’re ignoring, you’re, you’re ignoring it in the way that you’re feeding it the wrong thoughts, right?

[00:43:30] Jenny Swisher: And that’s the whole purpose of tonight is to really help you understand diet culture mentality. And sometimes we see it, sometimes it’s obvious the things that our, our parents might say to us growing up or our friends and family and the people around us, and sometimes it’s not so obvious sometimes it’s just, um, my, my, I remember my senior thesis in college was, uh, the portrayal of women in the like understanding what we see on television.

[00:43:54] Jenny Swisher: Um, as far as. You know, body types. And my, this is a random fun fact, but Emily’s making me think of all the college things tonight. So, um, so I collected, I forget how many it was. I want to say it was like 70 different magazines. And I did an assessment of like, what was the typical body type represented on the cover of those magazines.

[00:44:13] Jenny Swisher: And, um, You know, of course, you can, you can probably assume what I found, right? Blonde hair, blue eyes, um, thin, trim physique, right? Like, and so, this is what we’re, we’re seeing, whether it’s through the media, what, hearing it through the people that are around us, like, social media, gosh, we didn’t even get into that, like, the highlight reels on social media of what you’re seeing.

[00:44:33] Jenny Swisher: Um, I was just, I was just with a friend the other day and she was like, let me show you these filters. Like they make you look so much better. I was like, Oh great. Like contributing to diet culture again. Um, so this is stuff that we are literally around on a daily basis. And for those of us who are especially, you know, mothers of daughters who are like, okay, how can I really.

[00:44:56] Jenny Swisher: What do I need to do to make sure that, that my, my daughters are, are thinking about food in a healthy way? The best thing is to just to emulate the behavior that you want them to follow. Right? And to do that you have to go through this process yourself of unlearning diet culture. So before, I wanna make sure we point you guys in the direction of some awesome resources that Emily has for you.

[00:45:14] Jenny Swisher: But before we do, Emily, any final thoughts or anything that we didn’t touch on?

[00:45:18] Emily Yates: No, I just, I’ve loved it and it’s, so there’s like. There’s so much, right? Um, and I think it is hard to, um, I feel like, you know, I wrote all these notes down and I’m like, Oh gosh, I miss so much. Cause there it is. And I just, I want, I want women to be able to live free of this.

[00:45:39] Emily Yates: Like I want them to be able to enjoy and have, have, be able to respect and love their bodies. And, and if loving the body feels distant, then respecting it and treating it like you would. You know, anybody else. And so it’s just, it’s such, it’s a topic I’m so passionate about. And so I just feel so lucky that I got the chance to be here and talk about it with you and your community.

[00:46:05] Emily Yates: And yeah. Yeah. So

[00:46:07] Jenny Swisher: good. Well, you guys, um, I know you love Emily as much as I do. I want to make sure she, she created, uh, some resources for you. So I’ll let her share how to find her. If you want to reach out to her directly. Um, also this awesome thing that she’s created. So Emily, tell us more about that.

[00:46:21] Jenny Swisher: And then I will also put it in the comments as well.

[00:46:23] Emily Yates: Yeah, I just created a video for you guys. Just five, five mistakes that I see people. kind of do that keep them stuck in diet culture. Um, and then you can follow me at growrecovery on Instagram. And uh, yeah, if anybody would love to talk about this further, like I said, this is something I’m so passionate about.

[00:46:46] Emily Yates: Um, so I would love the chance to, to chat with you and hear about your journey and see if You know, if there’s any way that I can help you through, through some of this. Yeah, for

[00:46:58] Jenny Swisher: sure. Sometimes it’s what it takes, right? Like we hire experts in different areas to help us. You know, we hire doctors to help us with our health, right?

[00:47:06] Jenny Swisher: We, we also in some cases need, um, need different things. And what Emily’s offering, I think is, is just so, so needed. So, uh, that’s grow recovery. We’ll make sure that we link it up. I’ll put it in the show notes for the podcast. I’ll also put it in the comments here in the group. Uh, make sure you check out her video as well.

[00:47:20] Jenny Swisher: So I’ll share all of that here in the group. Emily’s going to stay in our community page, at least through this week. So if you guys have questions for her, please comment on this video. Bye. tag her so that she sees it. Um, tag me if you need to, but you can also reach out to her directly. I know you’re in, you’re in good hands.

[00:47:34] Jenny Swisher: So at the end of the day, um, I know I’m on this mission to help women really just step into their maximum energy. And a lot of times we have to let go of what’s not serving us in order to do that. And so I can tell you, you know, yes, you need the fruits and veggies, and I can tell you how to cycle sink.

[00:47:51] Jenny Swisher: And I can even tell you and get you an awesome doctor to work with on your hormone health. But if we don’t bless and release the things that are not serving us, um, we can stay stuck. So I hope that you guys found value in tonight. I hope you will reach out to Emily and Emily. Thank you so much for being here.

[00:48:07] Jenny Swisher: So we’ll talk again. Awesome guys. All right. Well, we’ll talk soon, ladies. Have a good week. Bye bye.