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Jenny Swisher: Welcome friends to this [00:01:00] episode of The Sink Your Life podcast. Today I’m being joined by my new friend, Kain Kain. Luna Otaki. Did I do it right? Yes. Perfect. Yeah. Alright. I’m so excited she’s here. We had this short chance of, um, meeting just a couple weeks ago to talk, and I think you guys are really gonna love this episode.

She’s the founder of HOT or Just Me, uh, which is a new online shop for managing perimenopause and menopause. It offers trusted products. Expert advice and a community of support inspired by her own experiences with perimenopause, like hot flashes, brain fog, anxiety, insomnia, night sweats, and more. Her mission is to empower women to navigate these life transitions with confidence.

Previously, she made history as the first American woman and first Hispanic person to create a scotch whiskey brand with SIA Scotch Whiskey. An award-winning blend that she launched through a record-breaking Kickstarter campaign. I can’t wait to talk about how we went from whiskey to perimenopause. Oh, yeah.

She also founded the Entrepreneurial Spirit Fund by SIA Scotch, which has provided over $350,000 in grants to underserved entrepreneurs Today. She’s dedicated to making hot or [00:02:00] just me, the go-to resource for women during peri and menopause. Addressing, key symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, all the things I’m sure we’ll touch on today.

Um, and we’ll of course, as always, make sure that we link this up for you guys in the show notes so that you can learn more. But anytime a woman, , you know, says to me that, that perimenopause is her passion and helping women through this challenging period of life, I know that I have to have her on the show and, and hear what’s working for her and what she’s up to.

So, Karine, welcome to the show. Um, if you, thank you so much, Jenny, like who you are and what you do.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Absolutely. So I’m the founder of Hot or Just Me. This is actually my, uh, second business as you mentioned. , I an entrepreneur, um, first woman in history to ever create a brand of scotch whiskey, and that was actually my second act.

So I’m calling, uh, hot or just me, my third act in life. I spent 17 years as a graphic designer staring at computer screens and. Was really just disenchanted after, after a long time, but scared to switch gears. I had made, you know, that my identity and my career and my network and my community, and so it was really scary [00:03:00] to take a leap of faith and do something I’d never done before in in my thirties.

And, um, you know, had never run a business, but realized that, you know, it was, it became something I couldn’t not do anymore. I had this fire in my belly around this business, around changing the, the scape of the whiskey landscape. It’s a spirit that I love very much. And, you know, I found that there was a lot of connection in real life over a glass of whiskey.

And so I finally, uh, took that leap of faith and started my business, grew that to success, and eventually acquisition from one of the largest spirit companies in the world. And then it was around my mid forties when I realized that I was deep in perimenopause, having hot flashes, night sweats, and asking pretty much everyone around me, is it hot or is it just me?

And realize it was mostly just me. And that I was deep in perimenopause and I was finding myself trying to find solutions, um, you know, other than HRT because I wasn’t quite yet a candidate for it. So everything from, you know, how do I manage these, , massive irregular [00:04:00] periods these night sweats, this insomnia, this anxiety that it’s coming up for me.

And so I decided to create a shop called Hotter, just me, that has products, services, advice, resources, tips, and community to help guide us through this phase in life.

Jenny Swisher: Yeah, so good. And I always like to say this, you know when, when people in general men or women like to serve the person they once were, right, something that you’ve struggled with yourself, like that’s the definition of true entrepreneurialism and, and really making sure that we’re making an impact in the world.

So we’re gonna talk about these things today. We’re gonna talk about the different. Symptoms associated with perimenopause. You know, my listeners are not new to this idea. A lot of them, most likely are over the age of 30. And even if you’re not, guess what it’s coming, um, at some point, so you might as well know about it.

Right? So we, we’re not new to this idea. I’m, I’m kind of in, I just turned 41. I’m in this newfound era of like, when is my period gonna come? We don’t know. It’s, it’s a every month, like sometimes it’s 23 day cycles, sometimes it’s 38 day cycles, right? And so all of a sudden we start to go through as women [00:05:00] this, this era of life known as perimenopause, which is about a decade or so leading up to menopause.

And this is where a lot of the symptoms come up. And to be honest with you, most women will say things like, oh, I’ve been in menopause for five years. Right? Actually that’s incorrect. Menopause is a birthday, which is 365 days from your last menstrual period. But like I said, eight to 10 years prior is this sort of symptomatic zone, right?

Where we start to see progesterone decline first, followed by estrogen. That’s when we see the hot flushes, the night sweats, the anxiety, the migraines, the trouble sleeping, you know, pretty much if it’s a symptom now, now I’m hearing things now like frozen shoulder and, and uh, you know, burning tongue.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Yeah, phantom smells.

We’re gonna

Jenny Swisher: talk about all of that today and, and we’re gonna make my listener feel like she’s not alone. ’cause I’m sure if you’re listening to this, there have been times where you’ve thought like, is it hot or is it just me? Right. Or. Or what’s going on here? So. Let’s talk first about just the symptoms of perimenopause.

I heard recently that they’ve expanded this to 104 Yeah.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: 104 symptoms.

Jenny Swisher: But I’d love for you to just touch on, you know, what you know about it and maybe even what you’ve, you’ve experienced yourself.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: [00:06:00] Yeah. And I encourage listeners to go to, um, morphous.com. It’s a, a website where there are quizzes that you can take to identify your symptoms, and they’ve collected, I believe, over 5,000.

, customer surveys and have identified, yeah, those about roughly a hundred and 104 symptoms, um, of, uh, perimenopause. So they, they can vary, but, you know, according to, you know, all of, all of this research, I’d say the top 10 are. Irregular period. So as you mentioned, it could be timing, it could be flow, you know, for me it was just same amount of blood, but just all in like one or two days to the point where I was like, what is happening here?

, hot flashes. So that warming in your face, your neck, your shoulders, your back, that just kind of makes you feel overheated. And you think that there’s been a change in temperature when there hasn’t. , and then, , night sweats. So, and the sweating kicks in when your body thinks it’s, uh, you know, overheating.

So to help kind of cool you off. Insomnia, we all know what that is. Just kind of waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to go back to [00:07:00] sleep. , vaginal dryness. So it could be, you know, just a feeling of, of dryness. It could be painful sex. Um, then there’s also decreased libido that kind of goes hand in hand with that.

, just kind of feeling not in the mood and just, you know, not as interested in sex as you used to be. Um, mood changes and irritability. Uh, some people call this mental rage. Um, sometimes I call it just for me because my name is Kaing, I’m being a Cameron. Uh, there could be joint and muscle aches, so just kind of feeling that stiffness in your bones and your muscles and kind of little creakiness.

Brain fog walking into a room not knowing why you walked in there. Uh, for me it actually was really scary. I had this moment where I was driving my car and was literally just forgot which way I was headed, and it took like about 30 seconds before it came back. But it was this real like eye-opening moment of like, oh, this is real.

I. And then, um, weight gain, which, you know, we, we struggle with sometimes throughout our lives, but in this time, maybe what we used to work before isn’t working as well. And then after that day of menopause, , women will [00:08:00] report urinary incontinence and frequency, bone density loss issues, as well as more heart health concerns.

So there’s a lot that happens in this time of life, but I think just even knowing that this is a collection of symptoms and kind of putting it together will make you feel. A not alone, and b, more informed when you go to talk to your doctor or your ob, GYN, about, um, the symptoms kind of as a whole versus them trying to kind of whack-a-mole and identify like one at a time and think that there might be something that, that there might not is.

Jenny Swisher: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I just read recently that the average woman will gain at least 12 pounds during pen perimenopause, and I heard Dr. Mary Claire Haber say in her clinical experience, it’s a lot more than that. A lot of women will say, no, I’ve 12 would be great. Like it’s been a lot more than that in perimenopause.

Yeah.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Yeah. And it’s, it’s like the changes in metabolism, but also just fatigue, right? You’re more tired than usual, so maybe you’re not getting to the gym as much, or maybe you have sleep issues, so that’s also causing you to feel tired or sluggish, or maybe not as effective in your workouts as well. So.

Just [00:09:00] kind of seeing it, like, take a step back. Yeah.

Jenny Swisher: Well, and the other thing too is, you know, one thing that I’ve been, , mentioning often in my keynote speaking is this idea that, you know, we, we previously have always looked at. These, I’ll say nuances or we’ve, we’ve said things like, why is it that two thirds of Alzheimer’s suffers are women, right?

And why is it that osteoporosis affects the women more than men? And why, why is it that cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of death in women? And you know, we know that women spend over 20% of our lives in poor health, um, usually after menopause. And so I love that we’re finally starting to see the, the same research through a female lens.

We’re starting to see like, okay, how does this apply to hormones? And so. Is it, you know, I think in, in society it’s easy to kind of laugh it off. Like, oh, it’s hot flashes, ha ha, like we all go through it, right? Like, it’s sort of this thing. But like at the same time, we all know someone, maybe our mother or grandmother or aunt or sister or someone who’s been affected by one of these three diseases, , that we’re now seeing such drastic tie-ins to, you know, to, to hormone health.

And so, . The more we know, right? When women know [00:10:00] better, they can do better. And so the more that we know about what we’re going through, the more we can advocate for ourselves and the more that we can step into that power. So, okay, so we talked about symptoms. Let’s talk you, you touched on sleep, and I don’t wanna make this fully about sleep, but I do wanna just touch on this because, and here’s how I’m gonna connect the two.

Okay, so you’re a whiskey creator. So for me, I started to notice probably around the age of 37. That I could not have more than a glass of wine or one cocktail without it completely disrupting my sleep. Right. And I, I know a lot of women in my community will say, I don’t know what happened, but all of a sudden my sleep went to crap, especially if I have alcohol.

Yeah. So. What can you tell us? I mean, obviously

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: this, yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s funny being someone who spent 10 years of my life telling people to drink, right? And then now I’m spending, you know, these days telling people maybe don’t drink as much, or, you know, maybe, you know, become a day drinker or, you know, definitely limit your evening drinks, right?

Because you’ll have that 2:00 AM liver process, like wake up [00:11:00] that, um, you know, coupled with insomnia, hot flashes, needing to go to the bathroom. It’ll be harder to get back to sleep. So I think that there’s definitely, you know, things to cut out. Um, caffeine is another one. You know, all these, all these things that we used to be able to use maybe when we were younger, , just don’t have the same impact anymore.

For me personally, I know that drinking caffeine later in the afternoon is a trigger for me to have, you know, anxiety and trouble sleeping. So I. I’ve now eliminated caffeine completely. But it was definitely a time when it was just having that morning cup of coffee was kind of that first step to help realize like, Hey, there’s a connection here.

And then, you know, I tell people that sleep is the most important thing, right? Like if you have a bad night of sleep, if you think about your next day, you’re groggy, you’re grumpy, you’re probably a little bit more moody and irritable than usual, you’ll make some bad food decisions. You will probably skip the gym or have not an effective workout.

You know, you’ll have, um, just kind of trouble, [00:12:00] uh, at work with concentration and then, you know, when it comes time to be with your partner, you just might not be in the mood, right? So all of this, if you kind of think about this domino effect, if you go on your way back machine, if you had just had a good night’s sleep, a lot of this

could be helped, right? So what can we do to improve our sleep? And so I have a collection of tips and resources on the site as well. Um, but everything, if you think about your environment, right? So do you have blackout curtains? Are you wearing, uh, you know, blackout sleep mask? Do you have earplugs to maybe drown out your partner that might be snoring?

Um, and then, you know, think about where you sleep, right? So for me, I had to switch to the side of the bed where the air conditioning vent is right. Even though I used to like the other side of the bed more, it’s just like, let me be closer to the source of the cold air. And then triggering that cold air to kind of kick in around 1:00 AM 2:00 AM to be at, its like peak coldness and then kind of warm up as we get closer to the morning so I’m not freezing my whole family out.

, and then your bed, right? So make sure that you have, [00:13:00] uh, you know, cooling bedsheets or your own cooling blankets so you’re not sharing with your partner, , and then, , what you’re wearing on your body. So we have a collection of different sleepwear. Breathable fabrics. Personally, I like one that has kind of a tea racer back shape on the back so I get as much skin exposure to the sheets as possible.

, and then, yeah, I’d say like if you wake up in the middle of the night, how do you get back to sleep? And so I like to have, you know, cold glass of water by the bed. I also like listening to a yoga nidra, uh, meditation that helps kind of calm me down and put me back to sleep or a calm sleep story. And I found also taking magnesium at night has also been really helpful, um, just to kind of, you know, settle me in for, for sleep and, you know, maybe I am still having those hot flashes, but uh, they’re not waking me up anymore.

Jenny Swisher: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you’re speaking my language here. I mean, I just had a conversation with a friend yesterday who’s dealing with some like hot flashes in sleep. Disruption issues. And she’s probably about 45. And she’s like, what would you know, what should I be doing? And you know, she’s like, [00:14:00] I’m wearing, I’m wearing lightweight clothing.

She’s like, back to, I usually strip it off in the middle of the night ’cause I’m having an hot flash, right? And she’s like, I keep my room cool. My four husband’s freezing. She’s like, what can I do? And, and we, when we were talking, I said, you know, do you take magnesium? And she’s like, no. I mean she was taking something that was like an over the counter, really, really tiny dose.

I said, you may need to up that magnesium. Right? Like I’m a huge fan of magnesium glycinate, huge fan of bedtime routine blackout curtains. Um, I. Earplugs. I was like doing this in the background, uh,

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: the same way,

Jenny Swisher: like I love my husband dearly, but you know, for whatever reason he’s picked up snoring in the last five years and I’ve picked up an inability to sleep and perimenopause, so it doesn’t really go very well together.

, but yeah, these are all, these are all fantastic tips and I love that you have all that on the website as well. , so I wanna talk about this ’cause I know when we, when we chatted prior to this, I’m like, this is a really interesting topic that I’ve not. Really dove into yet on the podcast, and I don’t know if you’ve come up with any sort of like phrase for this yet, but this experience of perimenopause for mom while [00:15:00] husband is maybe also going through andropause, right.

Which is very much a thing and. Maybe even if you’re lucky enough, a daughter who’s going through puberty all at the same time. Now, in my particular situation, I’m 41, my husband’s 42. I’m definitely in the early stages of perimenopause. My, my daughters are really little, so I have a 4-year-old and an 8-year-old.

So we’re not quite there yet, but I am starting to see, even my 8-year-old have like really emotional swings and I know that obviously we’re gonna be heading into all the pre puberty Fun. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I know when you were like, this is something I like to talk about, I was like, let’s. Please talk about this.

Yeah. Tell us, tell us your perspective on, on this, uh, this what could be train wreck.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Yeah. I call it a hormone household. So

Jenny Swisher: yeah. How,

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: yeah, how can we navigate? I got, I have three kids at home and, um, my oldest, , one day she was just crying and I, you know, I came up to her, I was like, baby, what’s going on?

And she’s like, I don’t know why I am crying. I just don’t get it. I’m just crying and I don’t understand. Why I thought, oh, here [00:16:00] we are. Like it has finally hit. And it was this moment of, you know, realizing that I have so much in common with her right now. You know, I’ve got things that are happening to my body and you know, I go back in time when I was a teenager.

You’re confused, you’re sad, you think nobody understands what’s happening. You have changes in your skin and your hair and your body and your mind, and it’s all kind of happening at once. And you think I’m all alone and nobody gets it. And it’s. Almost exactly like what’s happening in perimenopause, so.

Finding that it’s a common ground, right? That we can talk about it together and realizing that, , you know, we have this moment of celebrating puberty, right? Coming of age. You’re becoming a woman, you’re becoming a man, and, you know, not having the whole explanation of what’s gonna happen in their lives, right?

We didn’t have this, this term of perimenopause when I was growing up. Like I just know about puberty. But, you know, no explanation of, okay, your hormones will spike at this time in life, you’ll plateau. Through the time that you know, you’ll be able to have a baby and then [00:17:00] going kind of down, up and down as you hit your forties and fifties, right?

And so just kind of first having that, that realization, that full conversation with your kid about hormones. , and I’ve also, you know, in reaching out to friends that had older kids, therapists that we see, um, we were, uh, turned into a series of books called All About You from the American Girl Series, which, you know, I, I thought like, really they make a series of books about it, but they’re fantastic and, um, very well written.

They’re almost written in that old kind of Cosmo q and a style. Hey, this is happening to me. And that alone is really helpful for people to realize that they’re not alone. \, and then, , they have another book called All About Feelings. They have another book called Is This Normal? And then they have a series for boys called Guy Stuff and Guy Stuff Feelings, um, which is just fantastic as well.

So I thought maybe we need these for, for prepare menopause and menopause. Yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, coupled with, okay, so we’ve got, you know, kids in our house having their hormone fluctuations, us [00:18:00] having our own, you know, uh, hormone fluctuations. And then coupled with maybe our husbands or partners are dealing with this too.

So my husband, , he did some tests around his testosterone. Turns out testosterone is on the decline for him as well. And so I started looking into youropa and what does that look like for men? And it’s surprisingly similar that we will both have feelings of insomnia, weight gain, headaches, night sweats, depression, mood swings, and then men will also, um, find that there might be a time of decreased motivation, a lack of focus and energy.

There might be some mild to moderate erectile dysfunction at this time in life. So I think what’s happening is that for women, we talk about our hormones or our ups and downs once a month for most of our lives. And, and then as we hit perimenopause and menopause, we’re now more in this conversation. But for men, this is kind of the first time it’s really hitting them, uh, later in life.

And so it’s coming a little bit out of nowhere. And I think some people might miscon, like they might [00:19:00] misconstrue this as like a midlife crisis or something like that, but really. You know, they’re having changes in their bodies and their minds as well. And so how can we open up that conversation to be one more of, you know, empathy and, uh, collaboration and like using each other as a mirror and just being really upfront and honest with each other about what’s happening in our bodies.

Because this is a time when there is a high instance of divorce rates, and so what can we do to kind of, you know, help each other through this process?

Jenny Swisher: Yeah. Yeah. I can’t help but think of this, , particular woman in my course community who, when she first came to me into the course, she said, I don’t know what’s going on, but I need a lot of help.

Right. And she was literally near tears. She just, her symptoms were making her miserable. She was upset with herself and her, her body image because of the weight gain. She was just what I see so many women, you know, stuck with just in this era of just feeling lost and unfortunately, which we haven’t mentioned here, but I, I do talk on the podcast a lot about.

You know, we’re often met with doctors telling us we’re normal or this is just nor a normal part [00:20:00] of aging. And so then you start to think, well, I’m just crazy. Then like, it must just be me. Right? And so just calling out attention to the fact that something you said right, of these American girl books, helping your daughter feel seen and feel like she’s not alone.

We need that too in our second puberty and per menopause. Mm-hmm. Right? Like we also need to feel not alone. We need a community. We need support. And to realize that, that this is happening, I just had a call this morning with. A group of friends and they were all, you know, they’re all part of what I do.

And, um, they’re sync coaches and we were chatting and, and we were talking about when each other started their period and how frustrating it is. And sometimes it’s just like having that is so helpful because you feel like you’re, again, you’re not alone.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Yeah. It’s your girlfriend medicine.

Jenny Swisher: It is. It’s girlfriend medicine.

Yeah. And I, I love that you’re mentioning this about. Spouses as well, because you’re right, like the divorce rates are high in women, especially in women and couples over 40, and I can’t help but think that this transition in life is part at fault. Right. Um, this woman I was mentioning about how she was coming in miserable and wanting to learn more, I.

She [00:21:00] wound up like going through the course education, working with our, our resident hormone health doctor got on some bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, started to make some changes in her lifestyle, added magnesium. And I remember, uh, doing a Zoom call with her where she and her husband actually worked together from home and he wheeled his chair into the picture on the Zoom and he was like, thank you, because I feel like I have my wife back.

Aw. You know, I mentioned that here because. Like, part of me wants to just say we’re, we’re going crazy for a reason, right? Like, like this, this is, we, we’ve gone from just this predict more predictable cyclical nature of emotional rollercoaster and, and different things to a, a more crazy ride where we really, it’s just the wild west.

We don’t really know what to expect. And so I do believe even it just in my own personal relationship, like sometimes my husband gets the brunt of my. My mood changes and, and what I have going on. Right. And so the other thing I wanna say though is having an open form of communication. Like have, I know I read recently that 46% of male [00:22:00] college students that were pulled said that they wanted more menstrual cycle education.

So boys, men are one thing to know more about the wo the female body and what she’s going through. I think having that open dialogue. Having that conversation like with your spouse about where you are in your cycle and how you’re feeling, or the frustrations that you’re facing, whether it’s body image or hot flashes or whatever.

Like if we’re not communicating it and we’re holding onto it, like it’s just our problem to deal with. If we’re not seeking community, if we’re not, like you said the girlfriend, you know, therapy, like that type of thing, like, and we’re also not sharing that with him. It can create a really weird disconnect.

Don’t you agree? Yeah.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Absolutely. Yeah. And very much, you know, they, they, they’ve known us right for so long and so, you know, hey, when else have you noticed that, that I’ve been like, anxious or moody or depressed? And, you know, I’ll get an answer like, oh, like after our first daughter was born, like, you know, during that postpartum time, you know, I’m noticing some of those, those, those anxiety that depression is kind of kicking in here and there.

Or, you know, your, your moodiness before your cycle [00:23:00] seems to be lasting a little longer and, you know, maybe you’re a little bit more sad than angry and, you know, just like having it come from a place of help and not criticism is just so important, right? Like, to have that like open dialogue and say, Hey, you know, are you noticing any changes as as you’re aging, like with your body and your mind as well?

Jenny Swisher: Yeah, and it’s, it’s worth mentioning too that, you know, we, we advocate here on the podcast that women seek out a more functional approach to their health. Like, do the testing, right? Like ask for the bioidentical hormones, like, do your research. But this goes for men too. I, I just had a conversation. My husband just turned 42 and I was just telling him about summertime.

I’m like, you really, you know, he’s really good, really bad about like going to the doctor and having any sort of like physicals or anything. He hasn’t been in several years. And I said, you need to go to the doctor. You need to ask for some labs. You need to, you know. And he’s been feeling fine, but like, I was like, you just need to, like, this is just part of like proactive health.

So he went and got his lab work and his testosterone was actually in a better range than it had been in his thirties. Um, but [00:24:00] it’s just, it’s helpful to have that information, right? Yeah. Just to

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: have a baseline marker, right? Because otherwise you don’t know.

Jenny Swisher: Absolutely. Absolutely. And to be able to say like, maybe I am feeling off, maybe I need to get retested and, and to seek that out.

Bioidenticals, by the way, are available to men as well, like testosterone, you know, bioidentical testosterone. And by the way, men also make estrogen, progesterone, you know, all the DHTA like. So having these levels tested for your spouse is also as important. Mm-hmm. The only difference is right, that Andrew pause is more of just a slow decline in testosterone.

Mm-hmm. Whereas we kind of go through more of like that wild west rollercoaster. Oh yeah. I saw the funniest little like video on social media yesterday and it was like, this is what men. Experience an andropause. And it was a woman that kind of was acting like a, she was going down like an escalator, you know?

And then it was like, this is what women face. And she literally like falls into the floor like crashes. Not one is not like worse than the other necessarily. But when you’re going through it, at the same time, your spouse might also be experiencing decline. And then like you said, daughter, that might also [00:25:00] be on the front end of that rollercoaster.

Um,

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: yeah. And because that, it’s so gradual for, for men, you don’t notice it as, as instantly. Right. Versus like all of a sudden it’s like, whoa, like what just happened there? Um, so yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s very drastic and I just, yeah. To, to just applaud you on sharing about getting your blood work done.

Something that I discovered recently was, um, function health. So it’s just a Yeah. You know, take it, it’s basically a, you know, front end to Quest Labs. Um, but basically you can just. Schedule your own blood labs and your own blood work. I was finding a lot of pushback from my insurance when I wanted to, you know, get tested on, you know, full like blood panel.

And they’re like, why? And it’s like, well, I wanna know where I’m at. You know, I’m, I’m hitting 50 really soon and I just wanna have a baseline marker. And so, you know, a lot of it wasn’t covered, so I had to pay outta pocket. Yeah. But I am glad that I did.

Jenny Swisher: Yeah, exactly. I mean, I, I just yesterday got labs drawn and I did it myself.

I did, I, I’ve gone through function before. I went through JSON Health this time. Okay. And it was $68 for me to get my sex [00:26:00] hormones tested just at the right time of the cycle. Um, I wanted to know it just for my own. Like diagnostic purposes, I’m a nerd, but, um, I didn’t have to ask my doctor. I was like, oh, you know, and, and when people ask me now, like, well, my doctor won’t do that, or my insurance won’t cover it, I’m like, there’s plenty of options out there now.

Mm-hmm. Um, to get things tested. So I’m glad you mentioned that. So, okay. So on the topic of, you know, raising, um, teen girls and, and as they kind of go through their. You know, puberty and, and getting their period and the rollercoaster that is that you mentioned the all about you series from American Girl.

What other things have been helpful for you in navigating this with your daughter?

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: I think just, you know, coming at it with a lens of, of compassion and, um, sympathy, you know, of just it, it’s really hard because our emotions are, you know, so, um, tricky at this time, right? Like coupled with, you know, meeting someone that’s also having emotions that, that are almost like a mirror, right?

So. You know, trying to find balance. And I think the biggest one is [00:27:00] waiting to see like, is this the right time to talk about it? You know, uh, I think there was a quote that I saw something like, when someone is literally drowning in a pool of water, that’s not the time to say, let’s have a swim lesson. So yeah, it’s very much about like, is this, are you ready for this conversation?

And asking like, Hey, you know, I, I, I’d love to talk to you about something. Is now a good time? And just framing the conversation. You know, having the book is a good, a good resource of reading it together. , you know, or just saying like, you know, we have. Homework that needs to get done and it’s reading homework and you know, this can count as reading homework too.

Um, and it’s just, Hey, as you have questions about it, let’s talk about it. You know, having things ready for them, you know, if it’s, you know, pads or you know, Advil, like a little care kit for them as they kind of approach this time. Um, and then, yeah, just realizing that it’s also happening to their peers because I think that’s a big one too, is when you’re.

A teenager, there’s so much comparison, right? Like, oh, she’s looking different than me. Or, you [00:28:00] know, he’s going through puberty and I am, you know, so behind. Or there’s just so much like, you know, why is that not happening to me? Or why is this happening versus, so I think that just reading the books is really helpful because then you realize that it’s, it’s.

You know, happening to everyone, but also at different stages. Yeah. And similar with us, right? With perimenopause and our symptoms, we’re not all gonna have the exact same symptoms. We’re not all gonna have them at the exact same time. I think that’s why it’s just impossible to diagnose, right? Because it’s just this, you know, collection of different things that could happen.

And maybe they do and maybe they don’t at some different severities at different times. Right. So I think, yeah, just a lot of sympathy, compassion, empathy, and just kind of realizing, you know, am I in a good space to talk about this too? It’s not even them, right? Like, am I ready for this conversation? And it’s okay to say that you’re not, and it’s to say like, Hey, you know, I’d like to talk about this.

I need to just like, I wanna prepare for this conversation and make sure that I give you all the right, the right tools and the right information. So give me a couple days and let’s have this talk on [00:29:00] Tuesday, or you know, whatever it is. But just being, being prepared yourself.

Jenny Swisher: Yeah. So good. And I think too, that like you’re then setting them up to recognize that yes, everyone goes through this, but everyone’s experience is different and health is individual.

Yeah. Right. The same message we need at 40 plus, right? Yeah. Yes. Every woman is going to go through this. It’s gonna look different for everybody. Health is individual. Like be your own best advocate.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Yeah. And it’s okay to say you don’t know right. To your kids sometimes. Just being honest, like, we don’t have all the answers.

Yeah. And just saying like, I’m gonna find out and then I’ll get back to you.

Jenny Swisher: Yeah. Yeah. I also wanna call attention, I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ll mention it again. There’s a, there’s an account on Instagram called, we Are Tina. It’s called the Tina Device. It’s called the period Guide for tweens and teens.

Um, it’s the first basal body temperature based period tracking device for teens and tweens. Um, this is something I’ll be pursuing when my daughters are old enough because it will, I think, give, be a great resource for them to tap into the different energies of their cycle. Maybe how they. Should be feeling right, like helping women and young girls understand that like we’re not supposed to feel constant all [00:30:00] the time.

We should have highs and lows. So that’s another resource as well. So you’ve given us some great stuff and I do wanna talk about hotter just me.com before we wrap up. But before we get there. , you know, you’ve told us a few things already. Are there any other, like tips and resources that maybe we haven’t mentioned that you think would be great for a woman?

Um, oh yeah.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: So a big one, and this surprised me, I didn’t realize that this would be the most popular section of our website, um, is actually the vaginal dryness and low libido section. Um, and, you know, we are vibrant humans. We still have desires and we, you know, need to, to find ways to, to continue to, to satisfy that part of our lives.

Um, I think. We have some tips for sure about staying hydrated, considering pelvic floor exercises. Um, we have, uh, moisturizers both coconut oil and water-based as well as, uh, self-pleasure toys or toys that you could use with your partner. But, um, the one that I do wanna call attention to on this is I’m not a person that can, you know, watch, um, any kind of, you know, um, like a visual, like porn or something like [00:31:00] that because it makes me uncomfortable.

And, you know, I always. Find myself comparing myself to what’s happening and, and so I have discovered, um, audio stories as a solution to kind of get in the mood. I think when it comes to low libido, sometimes you’re tired, you’re exhausted. You don’t wanna feel like you’re just constantly like shutting your partner down.

So what can you do that’s kind of still like a bid? That can satisfy both of you. And so for me, I’m like, Hey, let’s listen to one of these stories together. And most of the time, you know, you end up kind of getting there because what’s really beautiful about is it takes your mind out of the way. Your mind is such an important sex organ, right?

Of, you know, being able to, , just. Put yourself in a different story and listen to, you know, a fantasy in your brain. And then, you know, you’re not so much concerned about how you look or how your body’s feeling these days. And, and it’s really beautiful. So there’s two apps. One is called Dips, E-D-I-P-S-E-A, and the other is Quinn.

Um, they’re both really, really, uh, affordable and worth, worth, the worth, the price. Um, and then, uh, there’s also, [00:32:00] when we were going through couples counseling, we found a, an organization called Gottman Institute. And it’s very much about showing appreciations for each other and what are the triggers, um, that lead to divorce and how to avoid them.

So it’s just fantastic. Um, and one of the, the tools that we walked away with is called the love decks. And it’s an app that you can download for free on your phone, but they’re conversation starters, right? And you can use these like when you’re out on a date when you’re driving in the car and they’re just like, I think it’s kind of foolish to think that you know your partner because you’re always changing, right?

I’m always changing. They’re always changing. And so who are you now? Right? And what, what was interesting to you before or what, um, meant a lot to you before? It maybe has changed through the, through the year. So it’s good to be curious with each other constantly. And so sometimes you run outta questions that aren’t about, like, what’s happening with the kids or what’s the schedule or what’s your, you know, what are you doing this weekend?

And so, you know, these are really beautiful thought starters. And then they have a series called the salsa cards, which are in, um. [00:33:00] Mild, medium and spicy. And it’s just kind of questions that you can kind of get to, to get into the mood with each other about like turnons and um, fantasies. So I think that that’s, um, it’s a good, a good way to kind of get around some of the low libido issues, but still have connection with your partner.

I.

Jenny Swisher: Amazing. Amazing. Okay, cool. Well, we’ll make sure that we get all this linked up for you guys in the show notes so that you can have access to all these amazing resources. But this is where it’s at, like turning around and looking over your shoulder and saying, Hey, these are the things that have really helped me, is exactly how other women will be helped and served.

This has been great. Um, so you guys will link up hotter just me.com. I’ll have a link for you in the show notes. I’ll have resources and, and things all linked out for you as well. Everything that she’s mentioned here. Anything that I missed or any final parting words with my audience before we. For today.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: Oh no, just that, you know, it is a community. So I loved hearing from, from other women about what’s working for them. We have a collection of bundles and products on the site, you know, for a lot of the symptoms. Hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, fatigue, hair and skin changes. We even have a bookstore and [00:34:00] gift shop, a personalized quiz to get you started.

And, um, we are offering, uh, 10% off to your listeners using the code sync. SYNC at checkout. So, um, yeah, just, uh, check out the site and um, follow us on social media at Hot or just me.

Jenny Swisher: Awesome. Perfect. This has been amazing. Thank you so much for everything you’re doing, um, in this space of, of, of menopause perimenopause serving women.

It’s been a blessing to get to know you. I hope we can stay in touch.

Carin Luna-Ostasesk: I would love that. Yeah. Thank you so much.

Jenny Swisher: Love that. We finally touched on the topic of what happens when your whole family is in hormone disarray, so, uh, all right, you guys, thank you so much as always for tuning into this. We will talk soon.

Thanks guys. Bye-Bye. [00:35:00]