197-SYNCPodcast_TaylorJanda

[00:00:00] Jenny Swisher:

[00:00:58] Jenny Swisher: Welcome friends to this episode of the Sync Your Life podcast. Today I am joined by my new friend, Taylor Yonda.

[00:01:05] Jenny Swisher: We’re going to be talking today about the topic of art of slowing down. I think this is so perfect for where we are in the world right now. It is approaching Thanksgiving at the time of this recording.

[00:01:14] Jenny Swisher: I realized this will probably launch after that. But it’s well into the holiday season when it’s very hard to dial in our parasympathetic nervous system. This is the time of year where we are go, go, go. And as women, especially we wear all the hats, right? So we want to be all things for all people. We are in charge of the Christmas gifts and the events and the planning and all the things.

[00:01:36] Jenny Swisher: And so, uh, I know for me, I was telling her before we started recording. This is going to speak to my audience in a very unique, perfect way at this, at this time of the year. So welcome to the show, Taylor. I’m excited for everybody to hear your story, to hear more about what you do and, uh, yeah, to really learn more about how we can slow down.

[00:01:53] Jenny Swisher: And just so you guys know, I’m learning alongside with you. This is not an easy thing for me either. So please don’t look at me as the expert here is what I have to say. All right, Taylor, welcome to the show. If you would just tell my listeners more about who you are and what you

[00:02:07] Taylor Janda: do. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much, Jenny, for bringing me on.

[00:02:11] Taylor Janda: Like I’m super excited to be able to connect with a new audience and just a little bit about me. So I, my background’s in nursing. I’ve actually been a nurse for nearly two decades now. Um, and I have kind of taken a little bit of a winding journey into the health coaching. space. So I spent a lot of my bedside career in pediatric ICU, adult emergency room, made my way into some hospital leadership.

[00:02:34] Taylor Janda: Um, and that’s where I really found my love for coaching. I really started to deep dive in with at then it was my direct reports. Um, so deep diving in with them when things particularly weren’t going well at work. Um, if we could kind of settle them in and figure out what exactly it was that they needed, it was usually something going on personally in their life, why they weren’t showing up at work the way I needed them to be as a leader.

[00:03:00] Taylor Janda: Um, that’s really, I found my love for what I consider coaching. And that’s really just standing next to somebody as they are walking through a hard point in life. Um, so the topic today of learning to slow down, you are in good company. I feel like this is a life. a life journey for me as well. Um, and that really is the, my target audience.

[00:03:22] Taylor Janda: I, I love to connect with women who are trying to do it all and take care of themselves at the same time.

[00:03:31] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. So this is intriguing to me because, uh, as I have recently been battling, um, migraines, as I was telling you about before we started recording, I have been put in this position lately of having to slow down, like having no choice.

[00:03:44] Jenny Swisher: But to slow down. I have one doctor in particular that I’m working with. Um, he’s, he’s been an interesting, he, he’s read me the right way. I guess I’ll say it that way. Like he, he picked up on from the, from the get go, he’s like, you are very type a, we need to work on letting go. Right. So I think yesterday he had me not really for fun.

[00:04:02] Jenny Swisher: I’m a joke. I’m joking, but he had me lay on a table for acupuncture and. uh, chiropractic work for like 40 minutes. Couldn’t have my phone, couldn’t have anything. I was literally just laying on the table and I wanted to say to him, don’t you know how hard this is for me? Like I cannot be still. Right. So, uh, yeah, I think this is a common thing.

[00:04:21] Jenny Swisher: I think, I think women in particular struggle with this idea. I’d love to hear more about your story. As far as like, what brought you from, you know, bedside nursing into coaching and what types of principles you’ve taken from one into the other?

[00:04:35] Taylor Janda: Yeah, absolutely. Um, for me, it’s actually more of a personal journey.

[00:04:39] Taylor Janda: Um, when I was in my last leadership role, um, I happened to be in my height of burnout in that, that position. Um, I don’t want to say necessarily because of the role. I think it was all of the things going on in life at that time, but that it w it. It led me to really start to examine what It was that I wanted and what it was that I needed in life and just taking that, that step back and taking inventory.

[00:05:09] Taylor Janda: Um, that’s one of my, the key things that I have taken over from my own personal journey into my private practice is that’s where it all begins. In my opinion, we just need to start by slowing down needs to start with taking inventory. We can’t just jump into like, what do I need to do to make things better?

[00:05:28] Taylor Janda: I think we need to really kind of. Start to look at every area of life. What, where are my time commitments? What am I saying? Yes to, um, and really start to deep dive into all of the things. And I love having that verbal conversation with women. It’s a chance for them to verbally process all the things that they have going on.

[00:05:49] Taylor Janda: And usually after some time of exploring in this area of. Like, let’s take inventory, they are able to self identify. I actually need to start here. This is the one thing for me in particular that’s really sending me over the edge and feeling completely disengaged, burned out, overwhelmed, the fatigue, we start to have that hormone imbalance, start to swing in there with the high stress levels over that, that consistent period of time.

[00:06:20] Taylor Janda: Um, so I would say that’s the one major thing. Like, if I could have… Listeners take one thing away today. It’s it starts with taking inventory. I don’t think we can start with action. It needs the action actually needs to be taking inventory of all the things. And for everyone that looks a little bit different.

[00:06:38] Taylor Janda: Everyone’s life is a little bit different. Um. Well, there would be work or maybe you’re in school, perhaps you have kids, multiple responsibilities, like everybody’s life looks a little bit different. And if we can kind of start talking it through and jotting down some notes. Um, I think that’s where it all

[00:06:56] Jenny Swisher: starts.

[00:06:57] Jenny Swisher: Yeah, that’s, it’s, it’s always like the obvious thing that we skip, right? It’s like, we want to, we want to dive straight into the solution of. Fix it, fix it, fix it. Right. Instead of like, I need to stop and see where I am. You know, it’s just like that, that’s that mall map, you know, you are here and this is where we’re looking to go.

[00:07:15] Jenny Swisher: Um, I love that. And I think too, you know, when you talked about evaluating, I could see that happening where you’re talking to a woman and she’s verbalizing the things that she’s, she has to do the, what’s required of her, the different things that she’s got in her life. And a lot of times I could see that happening where a woman, myself included would be like, Oh, you know what?

[00:07:33] Jenny Swisher: Like this is too much or. This is maybe the angle that I need to take. I recently talked to a friend who her daughter is a teen and is struggling with migraines. And we had an hour long conversation, just me helping her with what I’ve learned and giving her some direction. And, uh, I told her, I said, you know, let me ask you this.

[00:07:53] Jenny Swisher: What personality is your daughter? And she said, oh, she’s a lot like you. She’s like, she’s a go getter. She’s type a she’s, she’s involved in all the things she’s playing all the sports. She’s doing all this stuff. I said, okay. Well, I said, that’s funny because migraineurs tend to be those types of people.

[00:08:09] Jenny Swisher: They tend to be the type of people who are taking on all the things, right? So as I’m talking to her mom, I’m asking her the question, like, you know, if you were to ask your daughter, what could you let go of to free up some space and margin for you for downregulation, for feeling more. Peace, you know, whatever.

[00:08:30] Jenny Swisher: Um, what would it be? And she, and she said, well, if I asked her that she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t want to give up anything because she likes to do it all. I said, right. So as her mother, what would your answer be? What does she need to let go of that you think might help her in this journey? And so as we’re talking, she’s like, you know, I mean, she’s, she plays this one particular sport and it takes a lot of our time and she doesn’t really love it, but she does it because of X, Y, Z.

[00:08:52] Jenny Swisher: She starts telling me about this, right. And she starts saying. You know, it is our Friday nights, like our Friday nights are, are taken up by the sport and this and that. And as she’s saying it out loud, I’m like, I think we have our answer as far as one small thing that you can do to alleviate the pressure on her.

[00:09:06] Jenny Swisher: Right. Because she feels bad that she’s showing up for these events to play a sport. She doesn’t even love when she has a migraine, you know? And so maybe this is something that we need to eliminate. And so I try not to enter the role of life coach for people, but in that particular moment, it was like, you know, let’s.

[00:09:20] Jenny Swisher: I want to tell you what I wish someone had done for me because when I was a teen all through college, and now I know that I take on too much and then I wind up in this, in this chronic migraine state, right? So I say it laughingly and it’s not really, it’s not funny, but really, I know this is true for so many women.

[00:09:37] Jenny Swisher: So beyond inventory and taking inventory and maybe even just verbalizing what we’re up against and what we’re involved in and the different things that are stressing us out, what’s next?

[00:09:47] Taylor Janda: Yeah, I think you actually led us in with such a great example with this young woman who’s, you know, playing a sport that maybe not particularly her number one love, um, but she’s showing up every week, giving it her all, um, and, and maybe sacrificing some of her own health along the way if she’s suffering from these migraines.

[00:10:05] Taylor Janda: Um, another piece that I, I work a lot on with people is when we’re saying yes to one particular item, we are saying no to something else. And sometimes that’s where the friction is. There’s a bit of a mismatch of a rub there. Um, and perhaps what we’re saying yes to isn’t fully in alignment with our values and we should actually be saying no.

[00:10:32] Taylor Janda: And the reverse of that is true. Like when we’ve said yes to something that’s not in alignment with our values, perhaps. The thing that we’ve said no to along the way is a thing that is in alignment with our values. So it’s like the next step. Let’s take inventory, let’s put it all out there, perhaps jot some notes down, kind of visually see things.

[00:10:56] Taylor Janda: Then let’s line that up with where our values are at. Sometimes that’s where a lot of the burnout is coming from, of I’ve said yes to maybe it’s one or multiple things that really aren’t in alignment with the direction that I want to be taking my life. Um, so I think that really kind of turns into Step two, and then to keep kind of expounding upon that idea of like, what actually can we do, um, really checking in with our nervous system.

[00:11:23] Taylor Janda: That’s where I like to go next of like really having that hard conversation with ourself. Where am I at from a nervous system standpoint? Do I feel that on the regular, I am go, go, go. I am constantly on, I perhaps am trying to go to bed at night, and like, the squirrels are on that wheel in my head, and I just can’t get my thoughts to settle down, I can’t fall asleep well, or perhaps I crash, and then I wake up in the middle of the night, because my brain just like, it’s making lists, we’re solving problems.

[00:12:00] Taylor Janda: Um, that’s not restful, restorative sleep and a good example of like, I am perhaps in an excited nervous system state. Fight or flight is definitely something in that moment that I would definitely be talking to somebody about. Like, where are you at? Um, what are, what are you, how are you feeling in your body?

[00:12:20] Taylor Janda: In this moment and have them walk me through that. Um, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a tricky thing. So I think we can kind of, as women particularly, we get stuck, we get stuck in the spider flight mode and it’s really hard to flip the switch. And at times it feels so scary. Like we’re nervous. We don’t know how to be anything else.

[00:12:44] Taylor Janda: So if we turn that switch off, it’s like the fear of unknown starts to kick in and our mind starts to do these mental gymnastics and telling us like, Oh, I need to keep going because I don’t actually feel safe slowing down. Yeah. And so when someone is in that situation, it’s really how do we start to ease into turning off the switch.

[00:13:05] Taylor Janda: What are some easy things that we can put into play. Um, I, you know, I’m sure you’ve covered many of these topics on your podcast along the way, but stress management, it’s huge. Um, I am a stickler for sleep. Like I guard my bedtime, like you wouldn’t believe. And I, I try to teach other women to do the same because if we’re not sleeping, we’re, it’s really hard for us to calm down our nervous system.

[00:13:32] Taylor Janda: Um,

[00:13:33] Jenny Swisher: yeah, no, I love that. And I think, you know, I started working alongside Dr. Paige Gutheil. Who is an osteopathically trained family physician. We’ve been doing virtual consults with the women who take my course. So we are helping them in their medical needs as well, especially with hormones. And the one thing that I hear her say often is because we do meet with a lot of women who are, you know, they embrace fitness and exercise and nutrition, but when you ask them about their sleep or you ask them about their stress, That kind of gets laughed off like, Oh yeah, I don’t, you know, I don’t really do that.

[00:14:03] Jenny Swisher: Um, and so one thing that I found Dr. Page saying often that I want to, I hope it’s okay with her that I repeat it here. I think it will be, is she talks about this idea that what we’re saying to ourself throughout the day also stimulates that cortisol response. Right. So to kind of connect this into hormones too, I want to make that connection for people, you know, we’ve met with a lot of women who are very, they probably wouldn’t say it in the first five minutes of our meeting, but we can tell within the first hour of knowing someone that they’re very self conscious about their body, right.

[00:14:33] Jenny Swisher: They’re, they’re letting their bodies determine how they feel about themselves. And so, What we’ve noticed is a lot of these women are coming back with high cortisol issues or they’re in adrenal burnout. We’re actually able to look at the person and hear what’s going on from a stress perspective and then see it represented in the testing.

[00:14:53] Jenny Swisher: And so when we see that happen, one thing that Dr. Paige is telling them is she says, How often throughout the day are you talking negatively to yourself? You know, like when you look in the mirror in the morning or you choose your outfit, like how often are you speaking to yourself and some of them will admit, they’ll say, oh, I hate my belly or I hate this or I hate that.

[00:15:10] Jenny Swisher: And her, her take on this is so interesting because she says that every time we do that, we are telling our body that we’re not safe. We’re, we’re telling our body that something is wrong and that we’re not safe. So every time that happens throughout the day, you are literally signaling to your body a stress response.

[00:15:27] Jenny Swisher: You’re putting yourself into fight or flight. Now that’s just one example, right? We could also talk about social media notifications, blowing up our phone, putting us into a fight or flight. We can also talk about our children needing us every second of the day, putting us into fight or flight. Like there are so many things that are happily putting us into that sort of sympathetic, high nervous system state of mind.

[00:15:48] Jenny Swisher: And it’s taking a toll on our hormones. And I’m seeing that firsthand and working with these women in the consults. So it sounds crazy, but small things like you’re talking about, right? Like, um, noticing and the awareness of when am I doing that? When am I talking negatively about myself? When am I allowing other things like a phone call or a text message to derail my attention?

[00:16:09] Jenny Swisher: When am I, am I sitting down to eat meals? This is a question we ask often. And most women aren’t, they aren’t sitting down to eat meals. They’re either skipping the meal entirely. Or they’re eating it standing up as they hurry around the kitchen and do other things. And so, these small things of really helping our mind enter that sort of calming state.

[00:16:28] Jenny Swisher: Will translate over to better hormone balance will, will allow us to shed the weight or feel better or whatever. Right? So my people have heard me say this a million times, but your body will not reach maximum energy if it doesn’t feel safe. And so this is so important and connecting trauma and this parasympathetic idea.

[00:16:49] Jenny Swisher: Into what you’re doing in your health and wellness outside of just your nutrition and your fitness is, is absolutely key. Yeah. So no real question there. I’m just, I’m just, I’m just adding it. I’m just stepping up onto your soapbox. So how can we create more peace? I mean, I just gave a couple of examples, but how can we sort of create more peace for ourselves, especially as women?

[00:17:09] Taylor Janda: Yeah, I, I think the, um, maybe standard answer is like, we start to explore like a mindfulness or meditation practice, which for some is great. Like I think some women really latch onto that. Um, they maybe start or end their day that way. Um, what I found more often is especially when a woman is coming to me in this kind of deep state of burnout, Sometimes that’s not always realistic for them.

[00:17:36] Taylor Janda: And so I think I’m gonna jump off of your idea, your thought of they’re not even like sitting down to eat a meal. They’re, you know, constantly running around and eating on the go. Like for that woman, I would say, let’s reframe that of a mindfulness practice for me today is I am going to sit down and I’m actually going to take 15 minutes.

[00:17:59] Taylor Janda: To eat my meal and it’s the intention that we put behind the action. Some people don’t feel they have the time or they physically can’t sit still to start to learn how to slow down. So I try to find little, little nuggets throughout their day of like, where could we sprinkle this in and feather it into your day?

[00:18:20] Taylor Janda: where it doesn’t feel like another thing to do on your to do list because you’re already overwhelmed. I don’t need to add something else to that list to do. Um, so let’s try to make it work with you and work into your day in a more easy fashion.

[00:18:35] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. Well, I’m someone who’s like a to do list person, right?

[00:18:39] Jenny Swisher: So in case anybody’s listening and you’re a to do list person, it’s really easy to, to get in the habit of saying like, you know, for me, it’s like, okay, I need to incorporate breath work. So it goes into my planner, right? Like, so then at this time I’m going to do this. And that’s, that is a good way to start, I think.

[00:18:53] Jenny Swisher: But I also found that then it was just another thing that I felt like I had to do as opposed to being a way of life, right? There’s a difference between. I am grateful versus I live in gratitude, right? It’s the same thing. Like I am mindful, but not for just this five minutes of the day. Like I want to be mindful throughout the day.

[00:19:10] Jenny Swisher: And so my add on to that would just be asking yourself throughout the day, maybe even having timers for a couple of days, especially if you’re a routine person where you’re doing mostly the same thing every day. Um, and figure out, like, where in your day you’re feeling the most stressed. Now, I’m a huge Oura Ring fan, so Oura Ring just launched a new feature, so I have to mention this because it’s called the Stress Feature.

[00:19:34] Jenny Swisher: It will zap your battery, by the way, on your Oura Ring, but it’s a great feature that will show you when your heart rate is elevated and when you’re in a higher state of stress throughout the day. This has been great feedback for me because I need to see the data, as I’ve already mentioned, in order to make a change.

[00:19:48] Jenny Swisher: I had to be in full out burn all or adrenal burnout back in 2017 before I was like, ah, maybe I need to back off the workouts. You know, like I needed to see it on paper. And so the same thing goes for this. Like I’ve noticed that my, my stress response is high and early in the morning. I’m not a morning person.

[00:20:04] Jenny Swisher: So my body. Seems to, for whatever reason, go into that fight or flight early in the morning. So doing the breathwork and things first thing in the morning really helps me sort of set that nervous system response for the day, right? Otherwise I can just jump into my kid’s schedule and the stress of the day and what’s going on.

[00:20:19] Jenny Swisher: And then by noon, I feel frazzled. So just finding the places in your day where you are, whether it’s through an OR ring or just through awareness, right? Of seeing like, where am I kind of like, where’s their attention? Do I dread? Coming home from work or do I dread going to work or do I, you know, where do I feel that stress and how can I interrupt that with some sort of some sort of thought pattern that’s different, right?

[00:20:41] Jenny Swisher: That’s sort of like retraining the brain. So we

[00:20:44] Taylor Janda: have to make it doable. We have to make it accessible for everybody, right? And when you are in that, just like in the thick of feeling completely lost and burnt out. We have to make it easy, um, and sprinkling in simple things along the lines of like some just some breathing techniques to do while you’re driving and sitting in traffic and you’re late for your next appointment and there’s nothing you can do about it.

[00:21:09] Taylor Janda: Right? So we got to live in the moment. Right. How do we find that prolonged exhale in some breath work in the moment to try to help settle ourselves down, realize there’s nothing I can do right now. For whatever reason, there’s traffic and I’m going to get there when I get there. Um, it’s. It’s just everyday life.

[00:21:29] Taylor Janda: Like, how do we find those little moments to be mindful and not make it this big to do? And I am definitely not poo pooing, you know, having a solid meditation practice. I think that’s lovely. I encourage it. Um, but sometimes that’s not the first step for somebody, especially when they’re in the height of burnout.

[00:21:49] Taylor Janda: They just need these little nuggets that are individualized to them to make it work in the moment.

[00:21:56] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. And I would just add in there too. Like when you were talking, it made me think about what have I done during the seasons of my life where I’ve experienced burnout. My biggest time of life that I experienced burnout was in 2017.

[00:22:09] Jenny Swisher: My oldest daughter was about a year old. I joke around that she never slept through the night for the first year of life. And that’s not really a joke. She legitimately did not have one single night that she slept through the night for her first year. And, um, So it was rocky, you know, so I was not only teaching bootcamp classes and personal training clients and running an online business.

[00:22:27] Jenny Swisher: And I was also mom and I was up during the night. So my, my body physically sort of shut down. Like it literally was like, I can’t take it anymore. So by 2017, I was in adrenal burnout. And so I had to ask myself, like, In my mind, I had sort of trained my brain that in order to be fit and healthy and, and all these things that I needed to be doing daily workouts that I needed to be doing X, Y, Z with my nutrition.

[00:22:50] Jenny Swisher: I need, I needed to be dialed in. You know, that’s the phrase that we use. I need to dial it in. And in reality, what I really needed was the opposite of that. I needed the ability to have some popcorn at night and watch a movie and not worry about my macros. I needed the ability to not do a workout five days a week.

[00:23:08] Jenny Swisher: Maybe just go for a walk, like maybe just go to a yoga class, maybe just do what I felt like doing, you know, like I needed the let go piece. That I think so many women need, I think we are so just dialed in and, um, it’s either we’re dialed in or we’re dialed completely out and there’s no, there’s nothing in the middle.

[00:23:26] Jenny Swisher: And so I think it’s really important to, to find that awareness on, you know, where, where, where do I need to let go, you know, and where am I saying that really isn’t serving me and might even be causing me more stress. You know? Yeah.

[00:23:36] Taylor Janda: Where can I give myself permission to, to take it a step backwards and it’s not going to derail me trusting that this isn’t going to derail all the hard work that I’ve put in.

[00:23:47] Taylor Janda: It doesn’t mean I have to give up, you know, these major components of my life. It’s. Where can I create a little bit of space, give myself that permission, and drop the guilt, right? Like, I think we, we kind of rake ourselves over the coals when we start to take a step back, take care of ourselves, slow down.

[00:24:07] Taylor Janda: We can really put ourselves through kind of the ringer mentally when we’re, when we’re working through that.

[00:24:13] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. Yeah. I, I completely agree. Completely agree. So this is something that you’ve, you’ve been doing in your own life. Like you’ve shifted this direction into just better awareness and mindfulness practices.

[00:24:23] Jenny Swisher: And I’m sure you’ve just perfected it. No, I’m just kidding. But I would love to hear from you, you know, what have you seen change in your life? Like for the better? Yeah. So

[00:24:35] Taylor Janda: it starts for me, it’s like the awareness piece of it is such a great way to kind of sum it up. Um, When I look at myself now versus 2019 is when I was in the height of burnout myself, like my awareness to what are my triggers and what are the solutions that work best for me is so much greater than it was back in 2019.

[00:24:59] Taylor Janda: I, I really, it, it, It blows my mind when I start to think that through of where I was then versus now and giving myself some grace with the understanding of it’s never going to be perfect. Like, I think I, I’ll always kind of crest up into teetering into burnout and I just am catching myself earlier in that incline as you’re, you’re reaching that burned out state.

[00:25:24] Taylor Janda: I’m catching it earlier and I’m able to throw in those interventions that I need to and, you know, take things. A step backwards where they need to come back and kind of find myself, um, going back to that inventory and putting things back into alignment with what am I saying yes to? And is that an alignment with my values and what works

[00:25:43] Jenny Swisher: best for me?

[00:25:47] Jenny Swisher: Yeah. So good. I, um, one thing that’s, I always like to bring my kids into the podcast. People are probably like, oh, here she goes again with her daughters. My, my oldest daughter is very much like me. We actually just got her little report card or whatever from school from first, she’s a first grader. And it was like, you know, Ellery has an outstanding work ethic.

[00:26:05] Jenny Swisher: She’s very organized. She’s this and that right this morning. She, I’ve never told her to make her bed and she made her own bed. Like she makes her own bed. She gets herself ready in the morning. She’s just kind of a self driven person. My youngest, we’re a little worried about, like we’re a little worried.

[00:26:17] Jenny Swisher: about her. She’s probably going to come home with tattoos by the age of 14, like her whole body will just be covered, which is totally cool if that’s who she is. But, um, she’s just totally different. But anyway, my oldest. It’s very like regimented, like very rule following, you know, and so yesterday they, they both found a box of Christmas crafts that I had bought for us to do and it was kind of hidden so they wouldn’t see it and they got excited.

[00:26:41] Jenny Swisher: My youngest is like who cares we found it we get to open it my old my oldest is like no mom has those for Christmas like we have to follow the rules, you know, so anyways I share this because I see in her so much of myself, I see this sort of. Perfectionism that women fall into this. I don’t know. We get trapped in it.

[00:26:58] Jenny Swisher: You know, it’s like we, we get trapped in it and it holds us back in so many ways, myself included with her. One thing that I’ve realized is, you know, and it’s the reason I’m sharing the story is because I think it will help the listener make this connection to this idea that we all have an inner toddler.

[00:27:13] Jenny Swisher: Right. So my, my, my seven year old, even though she’s not a toddler. She’s still very young. And so her emotions are worn on her sleeve, right? So, you know, when she’s sad, she still tucks the chin. We still get sort of like the pouty face, you know, when she’s happy, you know, when she’s experiencing a different emotion.

[00:27:33] Jenny Swisher: And one thing that my husband and I have started to do. Is we’ve started to show her like not how she’s acting, but we’ve started to show her different things that happen. So, for example, there’s jealousy between siblings, right? So, if if my youngest gets a toy, my oldest gets jealous that she has the toy, she tries to take it from her or there’s slapping involved or there’s something inappropriate involved always, right?

[00:27:55] Jenny Swisher: And so my husband and I tried for months and months to just talk it out, you know, like, hey, we don’t do that. We don’t, this, we don’t steal from our sister, whatever, and we just kept seeing it happen and happen and happen and happen. And so finally, one day I said to my husband, I was like, I stopped the whole situation and in its tracks.

[00:28:13] Jenny Swisher: And I said to, to the whole family, I’m like, you guys, um, girls, I want you to watch me and daddy. We’re going to act the way you’re acting and you tell us if it’s the right way to act. Right. And so we literally acted it out. Like he was like, don’t hit me. No, you don’t hit me. And we were literally acting like small children and they both fell on the floor laughing.

[00:28:31] Jenny Swisher: They thought it was so funny, you know, and we’ve been doing this. And it is like a moment to just stop as a family and laugh instead of getting so caught up in that tense moment. Um, but it’s showing the girls, like it’s giving them an awareness because we’re able to say, this is what that looks like.

[00:28:46] Jenny Swisher: Like, what do you think? Right? And so my, my question to my audience here would be, it’s not always easy to self assess. Like earlier I was saying, you know, self assess where you feel like high strung or where you’re feeling in that sympathetic state, but it’s not always easy to see. Right. And so instead, I think the better option is.

[00:29:04] Jenny Swisher: Where did I act on something that I maybe should have acted differently, right? Whether that’s in a conversation with a significant other or with your children or at work, maybe it’s, um, dropping the ball on something, right? And you’re giving yourself, you’re beating yourself up over it when in reality, it’s what would you tell your toddler, right?

[00:29:21] Jenny Swisher: And so I always like to say, like, put yourself in the shoes of the child that you really are. You have that inner child in you and ask yourself. What are, what am I feeling? What emotion am I feeling? And be okay with that emotion, and then step into the awareness of, this is why I was feeling that way.

[00:29:36] Jenny Swisher: Because if we can do that, that to me is the precursor to burnout, right? Like that is stepping into this awareness of, oh no, I’m headed down the path of, You know, empty, you know, maybe I should do something before I get there. I just shared a graphic in my sync, uh, Facebook group for my ladies who take my course.

[00:29:53] Jenny Swisher: And it was, it looked like a battery. It said, you know, this is where most people should stop and take a break. And it was where the battery was about half filled. And here’s where most people take a break and the battery was empty. And so let that be your analogy of like, You may not always be super aware of, of those stressors in your life, but if you start asking yourself, like, where, where did I show up in a way that I wasn’t really showing up well, right?

[00:30:17] Jenny Swisher: Maybe for that girl that I gave the example with the migraines at the beginning of the podcast, maybe she’s probably not showing up her best in that particular sport, right? Maybe that’s a good indication that that’s where we should take a step, step back to avoid that burnout. So I don’t know if that was a really twisted way of saying.

[00:30:32] Jenny Swisher: Um, that I think there are steps and precursors to the burnout that we can see and that we can put the brakes on and we can change our direction.

[00:30:40] Taylor Janda: I 100 percent agree and I’ll actually call myself out on, um, you know, one of the things that I have taken away myself and, um, I will give the warning that this might come off a little spicy for some, but it was so helpful for me when it was brought to my attention when I was in the height of trying to work my way out of just this overwhelming burnout.

[00:31:05] Taylor Janda: I, there was a time where I was wearing my burnout like a badge of honor and I really had to learn how to let that go that that wasn’t who I was. It didn’t make me who I was. Um, and it kind of goes hand in hand with what you’re saying of. Just that awareness, and when was I not showing up as, as my best self?

[00:31:26] Taylor Janda: I think that there’s an element of sometimes we wear our burnout as a badge of honor, and it turns into who we are, and that’s really not who we

[00:31:35] Jenny Swisher: want to be. Yep, that’s, that is hitting the nail on the head. Well, as we wrap this up, I would love for you to just, we’ve given so many different tips and stories and all the things, but I would love for you to just tell us more about, you know, if my listener is listening to this and here we are in the thick of holiday season.

[00:31:52] Jenny Swisher: I was just thinking today I’m like, I haven’t done the first thing I haven’t decorated I haven’t, I just bought a turkey for crying out loud and we’re like one week from Thanksgiving at the time of this recording so this is freak out time. This is like freeing up time for women in this holiday season, especially.

[00:32:07] Jenny Swisher: So what advice would you give to the woman listening who. You know, who’s feeling burned out, or she feels like she’s on her way there, or she’s just living in this more, um, sympathetic, crazy, high anxiety state. What would your best advice be? Yeah, um,

[00:32:23] Taylor Janda: don’t navigate this alone. Find yourself a trusted friend, an advisor, counselor, family member, um, whoever is in your circle that you feel like you can show up and be your, your full self.

[00:32:38] Taylor Janda: You know, try to… Uh, flag them down and say, I need to have a conversation and start to verbally process through all of the things like start to go through that inventory and we can link, um, I have a wellness assessment that is a good place to start for where I am, am I at and all the various aspects of my life, um, you can use that as a tool.

[00:32:59] Taylor Janda: It’s not the end all be all. It’s just a place to start that you might have an aha moment. Um, Thank you. Because the reason why I really encourage people not to go this journey alone is the mental gymnastics that we put ourselves through as we’re trying to unwind and untangle and reprioritize. Our brains like to play a lot of tricks on us and tell us a lot of untrue things.

[00:33:25] Taylor Janda: And so having that sounding board and a trusted person in your corner that can help kind of walk through not only the inventory, but those thoughts that were perhaps saying out loud to them in that moment, they can maybe push back and challenge you a little bit and very lovingly put you on a different path.

[00:33:43] Taylor Janda: So my, my number one thing, don’t you don’t have to navigate this alone. There’s, there has to be, you know, somebody in your circle, in your tribe that you can kind of lean into. Um, to try to help untangle the mess. That, that, that’s

[00:33:57] Jenny Swisher: my number one. Yeah, that’s perfect. And it goes for so many things, right?

[00:34:02] Jenny Swisher: Like even for me in this, in this chronic migraine journey that I’m in again, right? Like having the reminder that going it alone is, is not an option, like bringing on board a team of people and employing friends to be like, listen, I’m just having a bad day. Like, regardless of what, what you’re going, what you’re going through, what you’re going through.

[00:34:21] Jenny Swisher: So all of this is so good. And it’s, like I said, it’s just. Perfect and timely for where we are in this in this Phase of life, but also just in this in the year with the holidays approaching. So I hope you guys are gleaning some insights from this interview with Taylor. I would love for you to share with us, Taylor, where can people find you?

[00:34:38] Jenny Swisher: Also, you mentioned the wellness assessment. So we’ll make sure that we link that up in the show notes for people, but tell us how we can find you. Yeah,

[00:34:45] Taylor Janda: absolutely. So you can find me. My website is consulting taylor. com. Um, if you prefer to shoot me an email, it’s taylor at consulting

[00:34:55] Jenny Swisher: taylor. com. Perfect.

[00:34:59] Jenny Swisher: So I would encourage you guys to take her up on that. She’s got some amazing insights that we’ve learned here today, but I know there’s more where this came from. So reach out to her directly, follow her, go to her website, all the things and make sure to take that wellness assessment as well. So taylor, thank you so much for being here.

[00:35:13] Jenny Swisher: I know we rescheduled a couple of times, so thank you for being flexible. Um, it’s so great to meet you and to bring this, this topic that is so, so needed to my audience. One other thing that I will mention to my listeners is I will link up for you guys a couple of podcast episodes that I’ve done in the past on downregulating the autonomic nervous system and parasympathetic versus sympathetic state.

[00:35:34] Jenny Swisher: So I also have some episodes on breath work. We’ll, we’ll, we’ll link up a whole bunch of those for you and the show notes to help you navigate the holiday season. So yes. Thank you,

[00:35:44] Taylor Janda: Taylor. Thank you. And, um, one last final thought for everybody is as we enter this holiday season, please be gentle, be kind to yourself, unwinding yourself out of a state of burnout.

[00:35:58] Taylor Janda: I know some of you are probably going to yell at me as I say, it takes time because you don’t think you have the time. It really does. It takes time to work your way out of it. Be patient, be kind and phone a friend

[00:36:10] Jenny Swisher: when you need them. Love it. Love it guys. All right. Well, thank you so much, Taylor. And thank you.

[00:36:16] Jenny Swisher: I’ll talk soon. Thanks guys. Bye bye.